He constantly tells me girls check him out and hit on him. why?

[Anonymous]

every time a girl looks at my boyfriend he makes sure to tell me. he says he is just joking around but it seems he's trying to put it out there that other girls find him attractive, which I already knew. I just don't know why he throws it in my face and every time I tell him its unnecessary he starts an argument saying I should let it go and its just a joke. am I overreacting or would this get you going as well? how would you bring this up if at all? why do guys do this exactly? to make me think I should be lucky to have him?

Updates

+1 y

its starting to make me feel bad about myself and I can't help but get upset whenever he tells me, like he wants me to think he can get other girls easily. is it even worth it or should I forget about it? please help.

[Simple-Simonette]

I think him telling you has more to do with how it makes him feel than how it's making you feel. It's empowering to be desired, I'm sure his ego inflates a little more every time he notices a girl checking him out. Sounds like he's either extremely vain or suffers from low self esteem.

Maybe he feels that you don't appreciate what you have (I rolled my eyes typing that, sorry) or he's making sure you understand the prize you have in your possession (another eye roll) - but I think it's mostly to prove to himself that he is desirable, plain and simple. And he's just sharing that with you, not thinking about how it makes you feel until you react.

I know it's not nice, but every time he does it, you could point out a flaw that might have gotten him some attention. Tell him she was looking at the way his hair was sticking up, or the spinach he has stuck in his teeth, or the funny way he walks - tell him you were sure she was checking YOU out. And when he looks at you, astonished at your insensitivity - tell him you were kidding, hardy har har.

Seriously, you're getting upset because he's noticing that they're noticing and he should only be noticing you ... it is disrespectful to you. I would be upset as well.

[Asker]

Thank you very much for your answer, I really appreciate it! I've made it obvious to him that I feel lucky to have him etc etc so I just don't understand why he feels the need to keep mentioning that he is wanted by other girls. I'm going to put it down to his own personal issues or his massive ego as it isn't an insecurity in our relationship. I just wish he was more mature about it

[Simple-Simonette]

Women mature faster than men. I'm still waiting for my husband to grow up, lol.

[Anonymous]

I read once in Cosmo that if a guy does that he is leaving out some key details. Like if he's like "x girl hit on me but I turned her down" that is supposed to mean that he didn't really turn her down and he is not so innocent. I don't know how true that is but at the very least he is insecure and wants the validation of other female attention. Tell him how you feel. If you're upset about it no you shouldn't "forget it".

[Rahim517]

He probably feels somewhat insecure about your level of attraction to him. In my experience, women expect lavish displays of devotion from their boyfriends but are loath to return the favor at all. I've been in long relationships in which my girlfriend never once made any kind of insinuation that she found me attractive. I think that many women believe that telling their boyfriends that they think he's attractive will turn him into an intolerable egomaniac.

The next time he does this, just say, "Yes honey, I think you're hot too" and play it off as a lighthearted thing.

[what_the_hell]

He already sounds like an intolerable egomaniac.

[faffew]

maybe he thinks you don't pay him enough attention, maybe he wants you to be all over him, or maybe he is just trying to make you jealous to see how much you really like him

[layarene]

Omg I have the same thing going on with mine... I personally am not a insecure woman at all... I trust him it’s just every day I keep hearing this chick likes me this chick wants me omg my Facebook messages are crazy random chicks hitting me up going on n on I have been together almost a year now after reconnecting last year when we first fell in love 😍 he wasn’t like this before smh 🤦‍♀️