Female friend avoiding me, why?

[Anonymous]

I have a female colleague(unmarried) say A,she has become my friend from the past 7-8 months.In early days I was the first person to approach her and helped her in technical (Software) matter.She became close to me and chatted for few months.Many times she praised me for my help and trusted completely.I thought I got a good female friend with whom I can share my feelings.Then another male colleague say Z(Married & have a child) came into her life.My friend A's home comes on the same way where Z's home is.She started to go with him daily on his bike..I had no problem at all,as I'm very broadminded person.I behaved with them casually.We go for hotels and cafes together.Once when we 3 were going for outing,she chosen Z's bike over me to go there.She went with him.That really hurt me a lot.It was like she doesn't have trust on me.Then I told this to her in next day.She told me she was sorry for that and she didn't mean anything.Later she started to move away from me.now she is attracted to Z.I can see her flirting with him and always looks at him while we were talking.She is now avoiding me.I thought she would become my good friend.Now I feel I'm loosing her.Should I talk to her about it? and solve this issue.Does she takes it positively?. This (Talking much with Z )will give her a bad name @ office.I want to tell her about it but how?

[MystiKaL]

Im sorry to hear she is becoming distant. I've had that happen to me a few times in my life so I know how it feels. I am pretty certain that you have feelings for this lady but wanna keep it friends rather than risk anything. This is what's keeping you thinking about her. Personally I don't think talking to her about Z is gonna do you any good, she might think think your trying to interfere with her life and she will only get more annoyed with you. And lets face it she is a single. free adult, capable of thinking for herself and making her own decisions in life, so telling her not talk to Z will cause problems.

Leave her to be mate. If she chooses to ignore you after you have been there for her, then she is not really worth knowing on a personal level. You do not need these sort of people in your life and it will only start to effect your healt. Keep it professional at work and leave it at that. This is what I did and advise you the same.

[Asker]

You guys suggest me to keep quite.I think being silent over the issue and talking to her normally will not reduce the difference between us.I'm confident that I can convince her and tell about my feelings. In past she had considered my suggestions while solving her personal problems. Should I talk to her?

This is India; rumors at office will affect her. Considering your advise I say nothing to her about her relationship with Z.

Thank you guys for your valuable suggestions.

[Mikerowave]

I think you're colleague may be doing the right thing. If it's upsetting you that she went on someone else's bike rather than your own, are you sure you only want to be friends and not something more? Maybe a little distance between the two of you for a while may be a good thing.

Why will taking too much to 'Z' give her a bad name around the office? Why should it be any different to talking to another woman a lot.