The guy who took my senior picture and I got hired at a, local restaurant, so we've been texting a lot. A friend of mine who knows him told me he's 34 and has multiple DWIs after I asked her about him. After I told him I'm 18, he said it's good to know I'm legal, asked if I'd ever do a "sexy" shoot (which I declined) and asked if I want to hang one day. We talked about photography and he asked what bra and waist size I have so that he could order clothes and lingerie for shoots and know it'd fit me - after I said I wasn't interested in a shoot, said that he's always admired my body, and then asked for a date.
I explained that I'm busy with school and didn't know if I'd be able to find time and he got REALLY irritated, said he felt stupid for asking since he hasn't asked a girl out in 3yrs and would never ask again. I didn't want him to be upset so I told him if I found time I would & like him as a friend. He said he was glad he got me to admit that I "like and want him" after months of him trying to get me to. I told him I was going to bed but woke up to a bunch of mssgs.
A few days ago he texted me a question about my work schedule, and since he wasn't acting flirtatious anymore, I answered him. He then asked if I'm a virgin and when I said yes, he said he could tell. When I asked him why, he said "Don't you worry about that." I told him that I'm not ready for that, and he said nothing would change with us. He then said this: and wants to wait for me after work so he can "pin" me. I don't want to tell management because I don't want to get anyone of us introuble, but I don't know what to do either.
Updates
+1 y
The first three times I posted this, someone deleted it because they thought it was spam. That's the only reason I posted it again. Otherwise, I wouldn't have bothered to type all of this up again.
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+1 y
This is probably the stupidest thing I could have done, but I agreed to meet with him before work tomorrow to talk about how I feel about all of this. If he tris what I think he might, judging by what he's been saying, I have pepper spray on my keys. I told him one of the girls we work with saw him grab me and told management, and he wasn't worried about it at all. He said "She's just jealous." So I feel the only way to solve this is to talk to him myself and be ready for the worst.
This guy sounds like he's gonna wanna day hold you down and force you to have sex with him. I understand the feeling of wanting to he friends with everyone and feeling sorry for people. But i really really think you need to report him and let him known never to speak to you agin or your calling the cops. My sister was raped so i really think you need to worry about yourself n do whats best for you or end up like my sister. Their is nothing wrong with being kind but their is a problem when you let people take advantage of you. Which i have made the mistake in the past give a friend over $800 never got it back. Am always trying to help people n get take advantage of in return. Only help people with respected you becuase clearly this guy has no respected for u at all.
First and foremost, I'm so sorry about your sister. I sympathize with you and thank you for that advice. This helped to open me up to the reality of this situation a little better. I just feel as though I'm leading him on and don't know how to tell him no now, because I didn't say that when he asked if I want to do stuff with him. I didn't know how to respond, and am winding up in a big mess.
Thnank you my sister is strong. Now first off you gotta stop blaming yourself your ownly 19 and have no idea how to deal with this very little people do. heyplz please do not meet with this guy alone i just read your message dont be dumb he will rape u.
Here what you need to do. You need to go speak to managment yourself. Becuase by not doing anything you are telling him what he's doing is 100% ok. Send him a message today letting him known you want nothing to do with him at all then block his ass. if you need any advice at all free feel to message me skykidx1
Thank you! I'm just having trouble differentiating between who he was before this - really open and friendly, personable, and very genuine - and now he's like this and I don't know what to think. I don't want to hurt who he was before, if that makes sense, but have no problem telling who he is when he talks like this that I'm not ready for what he wants. He's one of those people who is like a big brother and supportive and just puts you in a good mood, and I used to love working with him. When he talks to me before work now, I feel weird when I see him. He always commented on how shy I was, and once I opened up to him, he started telling me these things. Part of me still loves seeing him, but part of me wants to go hide when I see him now.
Say something does happen and he kisses me. I can't stop that if it's sudden, but I haven't kissed anyone before either. Are first kisses that big of a deal? I don't want that to happen but if it does, there isn't anything I can do.
First kiss are a big deal but truest me stay away from this guy andif he kisses you then he will want more and won't stop. Gonna send u a reply to your last message now
Can i ask a question? do you wanna kiss this guy? It sounds like he use to be a good guy but what you are seeing what now is the true him. Let me tell you a story. I use to date this girl the most sweetiest person you will ever meet. Her parents focus her to broke up with me.. I tried everything to fight for her, she cried 1 day then i told speaking to her father who then tried having me lock up so i crused him out. I told her this and she start turning on me i see a side of her i didn't thought she had. From that point onward i tried saving our friendship but she didn't want it too be saved. Its a long story but i have always been there for her even help her through the broke up but she couldnt be there for me when my sister almost died from cancer. My point is that people do change and you gotta accpt that. Stop looking at who he use to be and look at who he is now and how he is treating you. Still till this day i wanna belive
Things will change bewteen me& ex but it never will. And even if she does come back i known she will never admit she was wrong and she the reasoj we were forced to break up. Very very long story but i understand what its like to miss a friend since she was my bff before we dated. Ypu gotta let go of who this guy was even through i known u miss that part of him.. move on.
If you asked me if I want to kiss the man he was before, the friend and genuine person, I would say that I wouldn't mind. Adding on that he's 34, that would have been in a sense societally and morally wrong, but the person I grew attached to all the same. That isn't saying I wanted him in that way, just enjoyed his personality and friendship. If you asked me if I want to kiss the side of him who comes out in private, I would tell you I'm scared of that but know he would make me feel bad if I turned him down. In a way, I agreed to this by not saying no, and going back on that isn't fair to him and I'm in the wrong for that.
Am sorry but you are not in the wrong for that you have a right to change your mind. But i feel like your pretty much saying am gon a let him rape me and let him do what ever he wants becuase i feel like am in the wrong. it also sounds like to me you are not worried about your own safey at all. I dont understand why your like this becuase u seem like a very smart girl. Talk to me whats going on? why won't you do whats best for your own safty? if you really gotta go bring a friend thats a boy with you. Thats the best advicr i can give you if your not willing to protected yourself becuase i feel lije your looking for a reply no one on gag can give you and i worry about your safty.
More then likly u would just be tricked into doing what he wants or trick into going someone alone with this dude. And i was asking if u had a crush on him becuase it sounded like you did since you keep making excuse for him.. not to sound rude.
Not a crush exactly, I just liked him and the guy that he was. I remember telling my mom that I want to find a guy like him, not an older guy, but someone genuinely nice and care-free, before any of this happened. He's been telling me that he knows I'm not ready for what he wants and just wants me to have some fun, which is why I feel bad for turning him down. I've failed to meet with him four times now before work, so I feel like I have to. I don't want to say no because I don't want him to tell me he feels stupid after I feel like I led him on or retreat and have hostility toward me.
I know that everyone is telling me to look out for myself, and I think that may be why I haven't listened. I don't know what he's capable of, but I don't know if he's capable of anything either, especially in the parking lot behind the store in the middle of the day, and don't want to think that.
Your meeting him in the parklot behind a store? And sounds like even through you always thought of him as a friend he always want something more from you then friendship. Also tbh people have always told me i seem like a genuinely nice person since am always help people even people they use to hate me now like me. I dont want him to feel stupid after I feel like I led him on or retreat and have hostility toward me. Agin your being too nice and he knowns this so he's hoping too take advantage of your kind heart. The fact that he wants you too meet him behind the store parking lot before work tells me what he's capable of. If he really want to speak too you then he would meet you in pubic at store with other people around. The fact he's trying to get you alone and behind a parkinglot sounds it all to me. Remeber had i said to make sure your not alone with this guy? tell me would any of your other guy friends tell you to meet them in a parking lot?
So you haven't istened becuase everyone else keeps telling you the same thing? Am just telling you what i known first hand no one expect this guy to rape my sister but he did for almost 2 years. The thing is i understand you care about this guy so it most likely hurt's you to think he's even capable of raping you but did you think he was caabeing of speaking too u the way he is now? I can tell you meeting guys that are truly nice is very rare and its rare to ever see us mad unless 1. you attack us 2. you mess with our family or friends 3. If you put your own safty at risk expect to be scream out. Thats what true kind guys are like. We would never make anyone feel uncofortable more so a friend or a girl. I honestly thinking your friend was hoping you would fall for him becuase he knowns your a virgin. Am not trting to say you can't think for yourself. But lots of virgin girls get take advantage of easyly.
Becuase they dont ever notice the red flags i show the texts u post here to a few friends and they said yeaa.. He's a creep or has nothing good planed when he meet you. All were girls
I really really appreciate all of this. Thank you. Those points you made a definitely valid and your perspective is definitely helpful. Thank you for going out of your way and showing your friends my messages, that was nice of you! Something else I forgot to add is that he's been asking me for pictures as well, and isn't letting up. I got out of work late yesterday but made sure to park close to the building.
And since you're an outside source, what would you even call this relationship? We're obviously not together as a couple, and I don't think it's a friends with benefits type of thing even if he would probably categorize it asthat. Is this even a relationship? I feel like identifying it for what it is would be helpful in breaking it off instead of being unsure.
No thank you for at last lastening to what i gotta say i appreciate it I don't know why but always bugs me to death when someone tells me a story like this. What would i even call your relationship bewteen you n him? Honest speak i think for you. You genuinely sew this guy as a friend. As for him i personally feel like he known you only want friendship but he most likely thought he could win you over by befriending you. So i would say your friend would be girl who has a friend that kind of oessable with her.
obessed. Just from what u told me so far it sounds like he a little obessed with you. So i would say your relationship is that or girl who sees guy only as a friend who can't take a hint. Off topic kind of but lots of guys befind girls only becuase they think they can win them over or that later on they may date. Also am happy your at least trying to protected yourself but if worse comes to worse before calling the cops go speak too your headboss about this. You will not be fire or anything my uncle a lawyer so trust me
any advances in a workplace that a coworker does that makes YOU feel uncomfortable is considered sexual harassment and is not tolerated in todays society. its even worse if this guy is in a position of authority like a supervisor.
so ask yourself what is more important. hurting his feelings or your comfort and security while at work.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Whoa whoa whoa red flags!!! This guy is a major creep, possibly dangerous. He's got a fetish cuz your young, innocent and a virgin. I would tell him you don't want him talking to you like that anymore and if he does your blocking his number. Don't be afraid to be stern with him! I mean it! I know it's scary and you feel sorry for him but he will use it against you and manipulate you. Just give management a heads up that he's been hitting on you and it makes you uncomfortable and that you don't want them to do anything right now but just let them know in case this gets worse. Also save all his texts in case something does happen you need evidence.
This is probably the stupidest thing I could have done, but I agreed to met with him before work tomorrow to talk about how I feel about all of this. If he tris what I think he might, I have pepper spray on my keys. I told him one of the girls we work with saw him grab me and told management, and he wasn't worried about it at all. He said "She's just jealous." So I feel the only way to solve this is to talk to him myself and be ready for the worst.
Say something does happen and he kisses me. I can't stop that if it's sudden, but I haven't kissed anyone before either. Are first kisses that big of a deal? I don't want that to happen but if it does, there isn't anything I can do.
You have posted this question like five times already. Obviously you are looking for an answer G@G can't provide you at this point because you are unhappy with the answers we give you or you wouldn't keep coming back and posting the question again and again and again. I suggest you just move on and grow up
Tell him you aren't interested and you aren't comfortable with the way he is talking to you. Stop communicating with him and alert management to what is going on if it persists after that get the cops involved because he is harassing you.
Are you doing anything to feed this animal that might be leading to this? if not you need to go ahead and report it because even as a complete asshole i dont say half this shit to women..
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