How do I distinguish what my league is?

[Jfauz09]

like how do I find out who is in my league and whats out? whats aiming too high and whats too low?

[Rynner]

Bullsh*t.

There's no such thing as "leagues" You can go for whoever the hell you like!

Tip no. 1: Be Different.

- I don't mean get a Mohawk, listen to obscure indie music, get rid of your television and become a vegan, I mean take up an interesting sport or hobby, like Freestyle Kayaking, or Abseiling.

- Don't ever, ever use a pick-up line. That's the most insincere sh*t ever, and everyone hates that crap. Ask her something normal that you genuinely want to know (but don't make it too personal). So for instance, I don't know what hand guys are meant to wear their watch on (any input here is appreciated), so I ask girls do they know. Then you start telling a story about yourself

Tip no. 2: Don't be an Asshole

Seems pretty obvious, right? Wrong. Guys are always told to do this by "pick-up gurus". That's called not being nice. Treat others the way you want to be treated! So instead of insulting her to lower her self esteem to like you, raise your own self esteem by telling her something interesting about you, like "I once worked on the set of the Tudors..." and tell a story about that.

Tip no. 3: It's not about looks

Seriously. No joke. If you're smart, confident, interesting and can memorize a few decent jokes (that aren't just knock knocks or why the long face ones), you're going to be a guy that girls are interested in!

Tip no. 4: Mystery

Don't ruin the suspense by telling her the end of the film. You don't make friend by giving them your Resume, so why would you get a girl that way? Always try and keep some aspects of your activities separate for awhile. Sure, let her meet your friends. but keep Thursday evening free for your tai-kwon-do lessons and don't tell her about it. When she finds out, she'll wonder why you didn't tell her. Pretend like it's not important... And it isn't, compared to being a sky-diving instructor (which, funnily enough, one of my friends is. His girlfriend didn't figure out that that's what he did for more than 6 months. He became a real bad-boy in her eyes after that.)

Anyway, just be comfortable in your own skin and build yourself up as an individual before you go looking for a relationship

[sonic241928]

I'm assuming you're speaking in terms of girls.

A girl that you like, who likes you back, AND whose personality yours is compatible with, is a girl who's in your league. If you're a well-groomed guy, with humility, confidence, self-esteem, and compassion for others, no girl is out of your league.

If you're a good person looking to build a quality relationship, there's no such thing as aiming too high. You should aim for a girl you're attracted to, can have fun with, and be yourself around. You shouldn't settle for anything less (that would be "aiming too low").

If a girl seems too "beautiful" for you, that's an illusion you're creating in your own mind. No girl is TOO hot, cute, or pretty for any guy. If any girl turns you down because of your looks, she's doing you a favor by cutting short a relationship that would never work anyway. And, she's entitled to her physical preferences, just as you're entitled to yours. Simply move on and approach the next girl you find interesting.

I hope I made things clearer and not more complicated. The media, pop culture and society tell us that certain people are "in our league" and "out of our league" just based on something as ridiculous and transient as LOOKS. They control our self-esteem by making us think we "aim too high" or "aim too low" when we pursue certain people.

I'm trying to work up this confidence in myself, but I suggest you ignore stupid rules about "leagues" and "aiming" and try the simple route. If you see a girl you like, talk to her. If you don't click for whatever reason, you part ways. If you do click, you'll find out more about each other and take things from there. Best of luck man.

[v0nDutch]

It's simple.

Ask yourself this question:

"If the two of you were placed in a room with 200 people; 100 guys and 100 girls, how many guys would be interested in the girl in question, and how many girls would be interested in the guy in question (you)?"

(note: by "interested" we don't mean, want to have sex or just get nice things, but I mean, for a serious relationship and in the long-term.)

This is initially tricky to assess. For girls, it might seem higher than it actually is, because although she might have plenty of guys that just want to have sex with her, she might have much fewer that actually want to have a serious long-term relationship with her. For guys, it might seem lower that it actually is, because although girls might either want the guys for their status or wealth, or even for a serious long-term relationship, girls would let that interest show for a variety of reasons (to not seem like a gold-digger/wh-re, to not seem too easy or desperate, which is really just an excuse to justify making the guy do more work so that we can continue playing hard-to-get and create the illusion of being the prize or more valuable relative to the guy; since we like seeing guys working harder for us).

But once you've made a fairly accurate assessment of what that percentage (%) is, you can have a better idea of what "league" you're in.

Think of it in "tiers". Create a "tier" system to represent the percentile of desirability.

Like business schools. If you're in the bottom percentile on your GMAT, then Harvard Business School is "out of your league".

100% (Perfect Tier)

99-95% (Top Tier)

94-90% (Great Tier)

89-81% (Good Tier)

80-71% (Okay Tier)

70-65% (Above Average Tier)

64-50% (Average Tier)

49-35% (Below Average Tier)

34-0% (Lowest of the low Tier)

[beans]

This is a difficult question, because most people base it on looks. If you look at from the rating point system, then go for girls who are within 1 number range of your own number, e.g. you're a 7, either go for a 6 or an 8 for a safe bet. But as personal preferences vary, there are chances that girls will reject you regardless of what you rate yourself and what you rate them. I think if you have a good personality, and can get an interesting conversation going, the girl will give you a chance, even though she may not be keen on your looks, although this depends on the girl. However, if you try a sleazy pick-up line, you will be dropped regardless of your looks. As a general rule of thumb, men overrate their looks by 10%, women underrate their looks by 10%.

[Anonymous]

Consider these things:

How attractive are you? Do girls look at you? Do they talk to you?

Are you educated?

Do you have a job?

Are you happy with life?

Do you have a lot of friends?

[jacquesvol]

-age

-number of friends/admirers

-wealth