How do I determine whether a guy is within my league?

Question

I often hear that if a guy doesn’t want to commit to you, then more than likely, he is out of your league. I’ve entertained guys that weren’t really attractive to the common person and they still didn’t want to commit.

D_Bone_Steak · Accepted Answer

Try getting to know them. Try hanging out instead of turning it into a formal event where that guy is expected to meet all expectations and exceed them which includes playing dress-up, buying you stuff and acting/entertaining in a very non-normal fashion that isn't natural or organic.

The idea of a league has more to do with looks in my opinion. Like, some morbid obese woman that looks well beyond her 60's shouldn't be trying to bother with me, a fitness model that people often assume I'm still in my 20's. It doesn't make sense and that's the meaning of a league in my opinion.

But I'm assuming you're both somewhat on the same level as far as physically. So... with that assumption, it's time to find out if you're mentally in the same league. Like a mental midget isn't going to last very long with me in the court of opinions or anything really. And a couple of hangouts is more than enough to figure out we're really a mental match.

I guess besides that... I would advise you not to allow yourself or him to behave like perves and actually force the "getting to know you" phase to happen. I'll put it like this...

I might have a great time with a chick that throws her legs open and tells me to beat it up like her Daddy after we ate some popcorn, but do you think I walk away from that with huge respect and ideas of how great of a life we could build together? Of course not... I'm not special so if she was that quick to let her panties drop for me, I already know I can't turn a hoe into a housewife... and that I'm not the first or last that she's going to act like that with. I'm just not that special and don't let it go to my head. (Actually most of the time that's happened to me, she was cheating on some guy I didn't know about... says a lot right there)

How do I determine whether a guy is within my league?

So try my idea of just hanging out instead of whatever this "entertain guys" stuff is you're talking about. I mean when you said that, I got this mental image of you jerking off a fat pizza guy that looks like he did too much meth and he plans on deleting his wife. Yeah don't "entertain" guys and keep your pants on. Have conversations and actually just hang out. You'll find out all the negative stuff without having to "entertain" him like some sort of joy box.

ProbablyClueless · Accepted Answer

Your league is whatever caliber of person you give the time of day to, who also gives you the time of day.

Whether the guy wants to commit has nothing to do with the woman's league. That's a personality thing. His personality, where he's at in life, how he feels about her personality.

I once knew a lady who travelled to the US from Brazil. She was the sweetest person you've ever met. A qualified dentist. Deeply spiritual. Body of a porn star. Stereotypical mafia-raised good girl. An absolute fantasy.

She came up to the US because she was dating a guy she met through a language learning app. He was a christian missionary type. Did some work in Brazil. Their mutual friends knew each other; there was a great deal of serendipity about it all. They start chatting online for a couple years through the pandemic.

Well, she flies up to the US for about year to figure out if they can get married. And after 8 months, his stupid ass can't figure out what he wants in life.

Is the problem her league? No. The problem is that he's a dumbass.

rienna888 · Accepted Answer

For me it’s weird, it really depends on what the man is looking for. I’ve met a hot man I consider out of my league. He was using me for friends with benefits and agreed to date me. Then we broke up and he rejected me after I asked to date again. But also my current boyfriend I consider out of my league. This man asked me to be his girlfriend on the second meeting and also texts and calls and wants to see me everyday. He’s also very charismatic. I think he was ready to be serious as he states he’s getting old.

PeachyPie93 · Accepted Answer

Well how hot are you compared to him? If you are hotter he is under your league. But if he doesn't commit it doesn't really mean anything. I had ugly mofo's not want to date me even tho they approached me and I lowered my standards. Now I will never give a guy uglier than me a chance because if I'm gonna be rejected it best be by a hot guy lol.

Finchie40 · Answer

If you are attracted to someone just Go for it , don’t put yourself in some imaginary league , someone is either going to like you or not like you , it’s the chances we take , when we meet someone that is beautiful to our eyes , if we get denied? Oh well , at least you have an answer instead of no answer at all. And just move on , there are plenty of fish in the sea , eventually you will find a good one to keep

imtiaz45 · Answer

Determining if a guy is "within your league" involves focusing less on external "leagues" and more on compatibility and mutual respect. Start by assessing shared values, interests, and goals—these are often better indicators of a meaningful connection than appearance or social status. Notice how he treats you: does he genuinely listen, make time for you, and show respect? Authentic attraction is about how well two people connect, support, and uplift each other. Remember, self-confidence and embracing your unique qualities are attractive; a true connection transcends arbitrary “leagues” and is rooted in genuine compatibility and shared interest.

Anonymous · Answer

If you're already seeing him, it's about whether or not he wants to act like you're in a relationship. Dates, quality time alone, activities together, etc...

If it's someone you haven't slept with yet, just look at the attractiveness of his exes and compare yourself, especially regarding age and physique. Also, look at his level of enthusiasm. Low enthusiasm typically means he wants a situationship, not commitment. Unfortunately this isn't always accurate because some guys have learned that enthusiasm is a turn off for girls, so they make sure to scale back their true feelings so they don't lose your interest.

MisterWack · Answer

By talking to him, getting to know him better, and asking if he wants to hang out for a while to talk & understand each other better & have some fun.

I don’t believe in “leagues”, if there is a spark then there is a spark and if there isn’t then you throw in the towel of sorts.

4ngelic · Answer

it's easy. if a guy is around your owns looks level he is in your league, if he's more than moderately hotter than you he's probably out of your league. also by the way commitment isn't ness linked to wether they find you hot enough or not

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

I understand the temptation to rationalize everything, min-max input/output, losses/profits, leagues and I don't know what. But you make it sound like you're at the office. Quit your job please.

nastyb · Answer

no. thats not true.

how you can tell if a guy is within your league is if he is if you ask for his number and he gives it to you.

But beauty is in eye of beholder. You might be attractive to some hot guys but not all.

Anonymous · Answer

The same way guys do.

Don't automatically assume it has anything to do with "leagues" though. I don't commit to most women no matter how much I like them. Because most women do not make much of an effort to show thier interest beyond the platonic. The guy might just not be feeling it from you.

BonzoInBitburg · Answer

Your league is the guys that you go out with. Look at the last 3-5 guys you went out with and average it out

SixFootSexy · Answer

Let me enlighten you with this most helpful chart breakdown.

Apple1996 · Answer

Who cares about leagues? Go date whoever you want

es20490446e · Answer

This is the wrong mindset. I don't date girls for being "in my league". I date girls I feel attracted to, and I like being around them.

Christian_Cartier · Answer

One thing you could do is sit down and write a list of all of the things you have to offer him in a committed relationship that are not available to him currently. Then make sure those are things he actually wants.

SuchSightsToShowYou · Answer

What would you rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10? Go after guys that have a similar rating.

Also, some guys will never want to commit to anyone, so if a guy doesn't want to commit to you, it doesn't mean he's out of your league.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Not true. Plenty of guys have a fear of commitment, not just hot guys. And even the hottest chicks get cheated on sometimes.

Samster1 · Answer

The point of casual is to get laid. And if you're already getting why would they be into more seriousness

Nikki1989 · Answer

There are NO leagues to begin with.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Who cares make sure he isn't a momma's boy.

paledreams · Answer

I find a mirror 🪞 often reminds me 👀 when considering if a woman is in my league or not ♀️ as a man that I'm ♂️

slatyb · Answer

You ask him out. If he says yes, he's in your league.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Ignore the concept of leagues and approach.

Staximus · Answer

It's pretty much common sense. Someone being your league or not has nothing to do with their commitment issues

Crankor · Answer

For some it's a matter of what the other has to offer along with the type of person they are in general

kaucky1 · Answer

Should not compare yourself to they they got a maginare-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

shades777 · Answer

You already know who's in your leaguere-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

Anonymous · Answer

He will be intrested in dating you seriously rather than just having sex with you.

Luopio27 · Answer

Ask him out on a date or send a friend to ask if he would date you!

WatchedPot · Answer

Ask him something you want to know. Really want to know.

AviatorTom · Answer

Measure him?

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Dating is one way.

genericname85 · Answer

go ask him out. then you'll know.

Pterodon · Answer

No such things as leagues

Malwi93 · Answer

He may just be taken lol

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