We're both married but he keeps making eye contact?

[Anonymous]

I have a coworker that I have a lot of sexual tension with, we're both really attracted to each other but we have both said we want to keep it professional. We're both married and we work together so there's just no chance of thing moving forward with us.

I try to be civil around him and friendly but he always tries to make lots and lots (and lots!!) of eye contact. And I mean really prolonged, piercing eye contact. It's so intense, I can never hold his gaze.

What is he doing? Is he just finding it hard not to do that or is he trying to signal that he wants something more?

It's starting to make things really uncomfortable

[Bananaman177]

This motherfucker watched a youtube video about how to hypnotize girls by maintaining fierce eye contact, and he's trying out his techniques on you.

This is literally what he's attempting:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvwHxn_ziD4

[Asker]

The video isn't available!

[Bananaman177]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elu3iw8by90

[bejmo]

I think if it makes you uncomfortable you need to tell him. But also did something happen before to make the sexual tension? Could he think you're leading him on?

[Asker]

Yes we had been flirting - I am a massive flirt, I'll admit that. But we had been flirting and then realised there was something there and then it stopped immediately. We shared one of those moments I guess that changed everything. Why would he make eye contact if he thought I was leading him on? I don't understand how that would work. I was wondering more if he was trying to lead me on in some way!!

[bejmo]

That's what I meant if he still thinks something is going on or going to happen. I would talk to him and be like hey I'm married your married. It makes me uncomfortable when you stare at me like I'm a piece but of meat

[Asker]

Haha! Yea I already had that conversation with him a few months back and we both agreed to keep it professional... but I didn't mention the eye contact at that point. So I really just need to have that again. It's making me really uncomfortable. So the eye contact is definitely his way of signalling that he wants something and he's trying to feel me out? 😩

[Anonymous]

You need to stop flirting if his eye contact is making you uncomfortable. You're both married. I don't understand why people have to flirt if they already have someone.

[Asker]

We haven't flirted for a long time now. He just keeps making eyes at me!! We had a chat a while ago about how we're both married and that we were just going to keep it professional and it was fine. Then he started with the eye contact 😶

[GBSNOOPY]

No good can come from this.

[Asker]

Yea I know, it makes me so uncomfortable

[ImTheManNamedDan]

I have a question, when a woman gives me eye contact and hold it, does that mean she has interest in me?

[Asker]

I would hope not as you're only 13!

[ImTheManNamedDan]

I am 25. I did not set my birth year by accident. Could you help?

[Asker]

How often does she do it?

[ImTheManNamedDan]

A few times. But it's when I am distracted.

[Asker]

When you're distracted? She could be interested but you really need to be more aware and return the eye contact to k ow for sure

[ImTheManNamedDan]

For example when I'm speaking with someone and she stands far behind the person I'm speaking to and gives me strong eye contact while I'm talking to this person.

[Asker]

Mmmmm it is odd if she's doing it repeatedly with you - would definitely indicate interest in my opinion

[ImTheManNamedDan]

Should I be sexual or casual with my approach?

[Asker]

Casual

[chrisbigman]

Both of you should stop making romantic eye contact.

[Asker]

I haven't even been certain that that's what his eye contact is. My initial feeling is that any contact like that where it lasts longer than normal, is romantic or sexual. But then I start second guessing myself and think no, I've read it wrong. I don't want to seem an idiot by telling him to knock it off if he thinks it's just normal

[chrisbigman]

Just ignore him and avoid contact if you have to talk to him.

[fillinnforno1]

Office crushes are a good way to have the social flirting relief in an innocent way

[rocksongwriter]

Wear sunglasses at work.

[rocksongwriter]

He can't find your pupils this way.

c0021437.cdn1.cloudfiles.rackspacecloud.com/.../awesome-elvis-get-up-office-sunglasses-cubicle.jpg

[Asker]

I will wear my sunglasses 😎

[rocksongwriter]

Good plan.

[irrationally97]

Ask him to stop it. If not, tell his wife.

[Asker]

Way to create drama

[irrationally97]

True, but his wife can sort him out better than you could if he keeps ignoring you

[psychosam]

You again?

[Asker]

What?