Any managers on here? ever been in a situation regarding your employee having a crush on you?

[Anonymous]

I’m a new manager on the team. I started about a month ago. There’s a guy in my team who I nominated for employee of the month. Word got out that I nominated him (because he genuinely has stepped it up a lot in his work ethic). Since then, I noticed that he makes a lot of prolonged eye contact, like he’s giving me “the look”. You guys know exactly the ‘look’ I’m referring to.

Please let me clarify that I am absolutely in no way shape or form interested in him or take ANY liking to him whatsoever. I need help and advice on how to facilitate a healthy work environment where I do not have to get HR involved. I don’t return his “looks”, I quickly just look away and pretend as if I do not notice anything. Anyone been in this situation? How did you navigate it?

[Oliverlogan263]

Ay, as a manager that's a tricky situation to be in. The main thing is to shut that stuff down respectfully but firmly before it gets out of hand.

I'd have a respectful one-on-one with the dude and just be real that his behavior is making you uncomfortable. Explain that as managers, you can't give the wrong impression or have favoritism issues. Say you nominated him cause he was doing well at his job, not for any other reason.

Make it clear you only see him as an employee and need to maintain a professional work relationship. Tell him repeated "looks" are inappropriate and can't happen going forward. But keep it friendly, like you're just giving him helpful feedback, not trying to call him out or get him in trouble.

If he keeps at it after that, then you might have to get HR involved. But hopefully addressing it directly makes him realize it's nothing personal, just workplace rules. Good luck, trust you'll handle it right! Communication's key.

[Tim2nice]

I was a very shy person for most of my life and in my experience ignoring ignorant or improper behaviour hoping it’ll go away it doesn’t work. You have to face up to problems and nip it in the bud. In this case I’d suggest you call a brief staff meeting and say that if you nominate someone it’s because you’ve been impressed by their performance, not because you’ve taken a personal liking to that person or want romantic relationship. Make it clear you don’t date co-workers. Say you’re just putting it out there, so nobody ever gets the wrong idea. That should get the message across. But if doesn’t then you have to speak to the person 1to 1 and tell him to stop looking at you in a provocative manner or you’ll fire him.

[Summeroflove]

If he is genuinely making you uncomfortable bring it up to him. Otherwise I would keep things friendly and civil. If it doesn’t stop or he does something way out of line. Consider talking to HR or reprimanding him.

[Asker]

Both of those options will lead to an extremelyyyy awkward work environment. I guess I was hoping that someone would share a similar experience that they’ve been through.

[Summeroflove]

Asker, I understand but if someone’s making you uncomfortable you already have a awkward work environment. Just be nice about it at first.

If he’s not really doing anything too far out there you can try ignoring it and like I say keeping it friendly

[RedInnocent68]

Guys are stupid and can’t always tell the difference. Nevertheless, not unusual for a worker to crush out on their boss, independent of the recognition (which may be legit deserved), or the other way around, for that matter.

[In_Trance]

Don't fuck your coworkers because it never turns out the way you think it will

[Asker]

Ummm. Huh? Did you even read what I wrote 😂😂😂

[In_Trance]

Yes I did and I've seen stories exactly like yours play out countless times the way I describe them

[Asker]

I clearly stated I have ZERO interest in him and that I don’t even return the “looks”. I’m just curious as to what makes you think I’m going to fuck him when I stated very clearly NOT interested in this guy in the slightest way 😆

[serious]

No. Nothing like that has happened.

[Anonymous]

Get him fired or transferred