Are you talking/texting someone you shouldn't?

[pervertedjester]

I ask because I'm currently texting three women who are in fact married. I have no interest in being with them beyond flirting. I've plainly asked at the beginning if "it's okay" or if "it might cause issues, i can stop" they've all said, No. Yet in several "flirty" texts they say they hope it makes their husbands show some passion towards them if they were to find out. For good or bad, these women seem to wait in relationship limbo, freely flirting with me. Still I know for fact I could end their marriages with three words. It may be part of the reason I'm not in a relationship with anyone anymore. (Trust issues) So I ask again, Are you talking/texting someone you shouldn't?

Yes

No

[Crimsyjo]

Oh. I wish I was pure and could say no. But I am honest. And not perfect. So unfortunately I have done this recently and in past.

In my marriage, at the end, I was enjoying a naughty thing with a catfish. I knew he was a catfish and knew we would never "be together". But he made me come alive again as I had fallen out of love with my husband and felt neglected and overlooked by him. We had a daughter so that's why I didn't just leave straight away. The catfish awoke my sexuality in me again. Made me feel like a sexy woman not just a mom. I think this can be quite common. He also gave me strength to leave my husband. I did by the end and before the end tell my husband about the guy.

Now very recent... l was with someone just 3 months. I told him about every guy I was talking to and about FBs I had. So I wasn't being sneaky. I told my FBs I had a boyfriend so we could just be friends. They did send me "inappropriate " messages from time to time (come meet up. Just once. Your boyfriend don't need to know). But I'm not a cheat and I'd never do that. I didn't tell my boyfriend that. And then right at the end, after lots of arguments and me feeling like we were done, I did flirt and send a naughty pic to one of my FBs. And told him about the bad bits of my relationship. He was very sweet and supportive.

And now other side of the fence... I've had a past ex start messaging me despite having a girlfriend and kids. It was flattering, the things he said, and I tried telling him I don't cheat or get with cheaters and he needs to sort things out with his girlfriend. But I also did flirt back with him a bit. My fault and my ego! But he wants to continue talking behind her back. And I don't. He needs to sort his life out without only doing so thinking he can jump to another woman.

I think you are doing right thing making it super clear you won't be with the 3 you are talking to. Like my catfish guy maybe in a way you will help them and give them strength to move on from bad relationships?

I have a married friend who's husband says she can flirt and play (mastubate) with guys online. He's cool with it so long as she never meets physically.

[CrazyGirl2]

No! I've never had any chat with a guy, that my three previous boyfriends, or especially now with my fiancé, or even before we were engaged, when he was my boyfriend, that they/he did not know about! He watches porn, like a lot, openly. I honestly don’t mind! in fact I absolutely love that he is so open about it. So I don’t mind if he watches women masturbating, or multiple women performing sex acts on each other, and he doesn’t hide it from me. So i'm not going to hide it from him if I happen to get flirty with a guy online, or if a guy gets flirty with me! Now, if I knew the guy in real life, that would be different! As would my attitude to him watching a video of a girl he knows masturbating, or going down on her girlfriend, or boyfriend, or vice versa! Relationships are based in trust. Trust is the very foundation of every relationship. Without trust, there cannot be love. So why anyone would risk everything for a squirt of dopamine to feel good is beyond me! If you (or anyone, because I’m speaking in general here) like to flirt online, ask your partner if they would mind, before you start. If you cannot ask them because you already know the answer would be "Oh hell NO!", then you already know your doing something wrong, so stop! Every relationship, like every person, is different, some people will be okay with online only stuff, some will not. That is something one needs to weigh before entering into a committed relationship with them. If they are ideologically opposed to something you really enjoy, you need to weigh that against ending the relationship and loosing them, and then make your decision. But going behind their back? That is just wrong. (In my personal opinion obviously.)

I hope that helps,
Laura 🤗 🥰

[Hannajenky]

Sometimes my ex gets drunk and texts or emails me. We flirt a bit I guess but I would never hook up with him.

[serious]

The answer is no.

[strateguy632]

nope