Could do with a guys opinion -help?

[Anonymous]

So context: We used to sit next to each other in business class and we were very friendly he was super flirtatious - playfighting, teasing longing stares, lovey dovey comments.

I mean this one time I was lowkey annoyed at him and moved to the far end of my chair and he pullec me closer to him- problem he had a girlfriend granted things were weird between them but I felt like it was wrong. He ended up breaking up with his girlfriend and here's me thinking he'll confess to me, wrong he got with his ex girlfriend's best friend. I was annoyed and made a comment and we drifted apart as we moved classes etc etc. he definitely knew I liked him 100%.

Here's the issue: (~5 years later present day) I have him on instagram and he always watches my story first, well I wanted to talk to him so l accidentally sent a reel to talk and it was so easy and free flowing with that teasing we had before- he even suggested we meet. I like him ano maybe I'm just reminiscing my young teenage crush and he's the one I feel got away, anyways I want to text him again it's been a week but I want him to chase me to want me to text me.

So do I text him, or am I moving with a lack of self respect with the past being like that, any help is greatly appreciated.

[Jindadi]

Just my thoughts. Go after what you want in life. Society and it's opinions on how a woman should be, think, dress, speak blah, blah, blah. I tell my daughter if you see something you want, why shouldn't you have it? When it comes to people we may not be able to make people choose us, but putting yourself in position to make your chances greater is smart. Guys are more opportunistic, we act secure and confident but we are as lost and unsure as anyone else when we are young. If by chance you read this and think "Yeah, go after what I want" please make the next thing I say of paramount importance. Decide what your boundaries are specific to this young man. Articulate your standards & boundaries, be unmovable. Boys wnt sex and admiration. If he's not the one for you why sacrifice your STAR PLAYER, your Super Max, Franchise player and give yourself away to some chump who may not even know what he wants. You must be the most important person to yourself, and make moves accordingly. LA giving LeBron to another team for any reason other than it's what they wanted to do, would be nuts.

[ohsheeT]

You can play it out any which way you want to it has nothing to do with lack of respect it has something to do with emotion and energy and what something you want to feel.

Just remember every word that you speak to him means something..

And understand the words that you are saying to him.

And the way you are saying them to him
Because if they are misread then you could be looking at one thing one way.
And he could be looking at it a different way so you should go into it with your eyes wide open knowing that the odds are whatever they are that it will work..
but that part has to be established in the very beginning.

[Anonymous]

I get if you want him to ask you out but what if he’s not romantically interested outside of flirting or potentially just hooking up? The whole chasing thing is silly to me, you’re both adults and relationships take work from both parties not just one. This isn’t a movie or your favorite tv show.

[DishLady]

Can you young ladies stop putting so much important on what a guy pushes and clicks on your social media? It’s SO ODD.


He’s not interested in you. He’s just messing with you. Leave him alone.

[BoopBoopBeep]

I couldn't agree with this more. "I want him to chase me" No. You're not worth that. No one is.

[OfMiceandMen]

@BoopBoopBeep I agree with DishLady, what someone says and does on social media really means nothing, as they are at an arms-length and most guys don't put much effort into what they say or do as they are likely talking to other girls on social media, just like they are talking to you. Lot of guys use it to troll for their next date/score. What you should be doing is going based on the non-social media experience you've had with this guy... He ended up breaking up with his girlfriend and here's me thinking he'll confess to me, wrong he got with his ex girlfriend's best friend. That statement alone tells you what this guys character is like. Anyone who gets with their ex-girlfriend's friend is a player, period. He could care less if he breaks-up a friendship and undoubtedly that relationship ran its course.

[Asker]

Fair thanks for the response

[DishLady]

@OfMiceandMen Agreed, 100%.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Have you forgotten how hurt you were when he got with his ex girlfriends best friend instead of you? I ask because it seems like you have and are opening yourself up to the same hurt, only 5 years later.

I apologise though if that is not what you want to hear, but it IS my opinion and I'm not voicing it to upset you, but instead to try and protect you from him hurting you again. Because we both know how easy it was for him last time!

[Asker]

You’re absolutely right, thank you for the response!

[TommyMountainFigure]

You're very welcome.

[ProbablyClueless]

If you want to talk with him, send him a message. Stop doing that weird thing y'all do where you try to make it "his idea but not really his idea." I can tell you from a guy's perspective that this kind of thing comes across as incredibly desperate and needy. And it makes interacting with the woman super exhausting.

All these games are annoying as all hell and a MASSIVE turnoff. There isn't a single thing you could do to make the prospect of interacting with you less appealing than approaching the situation with the energy that you are.

It's YOUR idea. So YOU need to message him.

[Makeushiver]

I think you should contact him. If nothing else you may discover that he could be over sensitive- which could create an issue down the road. You will never know what its like to date him if you don't try. In 2024 it is certainly cool for wopman to ask man for a date? Going out for coffee has beciome the default 1st date. No one e4xpects to sleep with the person who asked him out for a latte. Lunch becomes a little more intimate. Dinner almost alkways followed by sex

[strateguy632]

he isn't gonna chase you he didn't text you all week. forget him.

[spartan55]

Yeah keep trying that chasing bullshit and watch him go away.

[noohair]

Guys do not do the hint thing like women do. We do not read minds either. If you want us to know something, speak slowly, use simple words and leave nothing to interpretation.

[KrakenAttackin]

"I want him to chase me", playing stupid games will not help your plight.

[handsomelad70]

If I were you, I'd think he is trying to reach out to kindle something which really didn't exist, and would likely let it rest.

[msc545]

If you are interested in him, stop playing games with him and tell him what you want.

[In_Trance]

You need to walk away from this. And definitely lose the intent of playing stupid games. You'll lose every time

[Jamie05rhs]

That's entirely your call. If you want him, get him.

[moneymagnet24]

You're just drama n headache

[Asker]

Then go elsewhere you idiot? No ones forcing a response from you

[Danny_dan92]

Text

[Anonymous]

Yess