To Flirt vs To Be Flirted With. Which one of these two happens to you the most? And which one do you enjoy more?

[thegreenyogi]

[OneViewpoint]

I get women trying to flirt with me vs me trying to flirt with them in about a 25:1 ratio. I'm serious. I don't approach women often because I'm tired of constantly getting dragged into conversations with people I don't want to be talking to. I get plenty of that from women approaching me. I don't really need to instigate it myself.

I'm not a total hermit and asshole. If I see someone who is attractive and seems interesting, I'll go chat them up whether they are alone or in a group. But it's rare.

[thegreenyogi]

You're what they call an extremely selective kind of person.

[OneViewpoint]

In everything I do. Career, relationships, things/possessions, how I spend my time. As I've said before, I'm a minimalist these days. It's a really peaceful existence.

[OneViewpoint]

@thegreenyogi,

Case in point. Last night. 5 different women were hit on me.

1.) Married, 43 gorgeous & been hitting on me for more than a year now. In front of her husband.
2.) Married hot older woman (50-ish) and her husband is fine with her getting with me. Swingers.
3.) Married woman who just likes to flirt nothing gonna happen there. She just likes attention.
4.) Single cute (widow) a friend introduced me to. Early 40's I think.
5.) Single 35 year old tall AI engineer with long dark hair who has been hitting on me the last 2 Friday nights. She walked up with her 2 friends (guy and girl) and wanted to play a game. I had to guess all their occupations based on their looks. End game is that they were dying to know who I am and what I do. So after I guessed their careers they started trying to guess mine. First question from the AI girl, "have you ever killed anyone"? Answer, yes.

I'm not kidding. First question. I guess I have "a look", LOL. But kudos to her, The game was actually a brilliant way of getting an introvert like me to open up and engage in conversation immediately. It was different and fun/funny. Got us all talking immediately. Turns out the guy is try to get a career going in counter terrorism. When I told them what I actually am he got visibly nervous in a respectful way. Anyway the AI engineer was a 1:1000. Impressive. Smart. Deep. Confident. But fun too. I plan to work at getting to know her better.

[thegreenyogi]

@OneViewpoint Thank you for sharing that with me. It was fun, interesting and fascinating to read about.

So you're one of the dangerous ones... Lol!! I hope getting to know the AI girl proves worth your while.

[luvgrlmusl]

Do you think you may be misinterpreting them just being friendly as opposed to flirting? I mean I can't even remember the last time a woman flirted with me. Perhaps I can't pick up on the cues? Or I may be even more hideous than I suspected!!!

[OneViewpoint]

@luvgrlmusl ,

Believe me, I can pick up on the cues just fine. I have a lot of experience at it. You're probably not hideous. More likely, you lack confidence. You may dismiss attempts to flirt as harmless courtesy or casual conversation.

#1 - She told a friend of mine she wants to have an affair with me knowing he's my closest friend. Hmmm, flirting? Ya think she chose him to confide in knowing that message would be delivered. If she's there with her husband she spends all night glued to me. She's been after me for more than a year. There's no subtlety, no guessing here.

#2. The couple, that was the second time they approached me about a threesome. She asked me with her husband standing right there. Flirting? Maybe just a little.

#3. Married and flirts like crazy. Tells me I'm handsome. Compliments me every time I see her. But she's a good girl. very sweet. I don't think she'd ever act on it. But she's over 50 and needs confirmation she's still "got it". I'm happy to give her attention and validation. No harm in that.

#4. The widow. A friend introduced us. She's the widow of his best friend. A couple of weeks ago my friend left before the rest of us. On his way out he puts his hand on my shoulder and leans in to say "good luck" I say good luck with what? He nods in her direction and says she's gonna try to hit on you tonight. He wasn't wrong. Apparently she grilled him about me for 30 minutes straight.

#5. The AI engineer. Dude, she has been overt about meeting me for 2 weeks. She just leaves her group of friends and inserts herself into my group. None of us knew her. She planted herself next to me. LOL, I was the only one NOT talking to her. She was not shy. She let it be known she specifically wanted to meet me. Second week was when she showed up with her 2 friends and wanted to play the guessing game. She is very open about wanting to know more about me.

It's not like that every night. But it's not unusual either.

[Zack-Bann]

Even when I try to flirt I end up flirted with most of the time


I think it’s a mutual trigger of attraction that causes it


One I’m sure you know lots about…

[thegreenyogi]

I certainly do. Just like you I always end up being flirted with and sometimes I get the impression I do nothing specific to get that to happen apart from being my usual self. But on very very few occasions does it happen where there is a mutual back and forth of flirting and when it happens I truly enjoy it.

[NordicInScandinavia]

I don't know how to flirt and I don't notice being flirted with - so I definetly don't enjoy flirting (I'm just awkward which makes things awkward) and I can't enjoy something I don't notice happening.

[DryGermanGuy]

Is that an icicle in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? 😬😬😬

[Vevv123]

Not often, but if a stranger is flirty with me, there will be an awkward silence and I will try to get out of that situation as fast as I can. It’s so awkward and I blush when things are awkward. 😂

[Summeroflove]

Flirted with. Generally if I flirt I know she’s probably into me…

[AviatorTom]

I'm rarely flirted with, and I only occasionally flirt with others. Innocent flirting is fun!

[CuriousFlo03]

What if the question itself is the problem?

The prompt asks "to flirt" or "to be flirted with" as if they are separate events, like two sides of a coin. But what if they aren't? What if it's more like a feedback loop? What if you, as a man, initiate with the right kind of energy, and her response is the signal of a successful approach?

Think about it: the first move is like a spark, but the real fire only happens when both people are contributing.

What if the secret isn't in choosing one, but in understanding how the two connect?

[thegreenyogi]

I agree. A great point of view.

[dustybiker2]

I don't flirt I just enjoy talking to people. People tend to grasp this along the way. My best conversations are with men in hardware stores or bike shops. When the detail to a conversation gets so involved they forget they are talking to a woman and you see that recognition suddenly cross their face again. Then smooth out as convo continues on. Love those moments.

[TrimmedTip]

I enjoy both—flirting lets me be playful and intentional, while being flirted with feels affirming and fun. But if I had to pick? Being flirted with edges out slightly—it’s a nice confidence boost when it’s done respectfully. 😊

How about you?

[Jltakk]

I've never even experienced flirting. I don't even know how that even looks in real life from a woman. I don't enjoy flirting and find it extremely tiring. All of this may just be a result of me being numb to social cues and having massive trouble seeing details of any kind. I literally struggled with this since childhood, so I don't know I guess

[Abbycado]

I get flirted with far, far more. I don't enjoy it, given I am taken. But, you can't fault guys that don't know I'm not single.

[luvgrlmusl]

And see, that's one of the main reasons I DON'T flirt! I don't want to totally humiliate myself flirting with a woman that doesn't want it or who is taken!

[juleyboo74]

Me flirting. For whatever reason, sometimes guys are afraid to flirt, so I make the first move. I like making the first move, gets me to the point much more quickly I think, at least for me.

[Chloe1808]

Personally I love to flirt but sometimes it gets me into a little bit of trouble

[zombiewoof]

Fun times

[Tarifa]

To flirt. In part, I think that's the role men are given. It's addictive and hazardous, it can backfire, but it's best when they flirt back.

[msc545]

Stop flirting with women before you get yourself in trouble when one of them decides she's had a bad day and reports you for sexual harassment. It's not worth it.

[luvgrlmusl]

@msc545
Yeah and there's that! So many women are so Vindictive. I don't interact socially with the women I work with. And I come across A LOT!! I work as a pilot for an airline. And its open season on straight white male pilots! We are targeted frequently for termination due to some interaction issue. I only interact to the extent necessary to do the job. It's sad.

[Tarifa]

@luvgrlmusl My opinion is set within the context of flirting while two people are getting to know each other. Not while any of them is in a relationship with someone else. And I agree it's best to not let this interfere with your professional career.

[luvgrlmusl]

Yes! Best to keep the flirting outside the workplace. Although that's where a lot of us are best able to meet people. It's quite the dilema.

[msg321]

I am too busy right now so I don't have time for both of them. What about you? Which one do you like more?

[thegreenyogi]

I'm flirted with.

[msg321]

Yep it is more suitable for a beautiful lady like you 😊 (I am trying flirting 😂)

[thegreenyogi]

Thank you!

[msg321]

Hope you enjoyed it 🙂

[Xawyx-2]

I don't know how to flirt, so I prefer to be flirted with, but it never happens to me.

[MJVillarama]

I usually do the flirting. but gotta admit, being flirted with hits different

[Ironco]

I flirt, it's fun.

When I'm flirted with, I don't always catch it... I'm too busy flirting...🤔🤪

[Pohjolan]

Do we count teasing flirt where the person flirting has no intention of pursuing the other person romantically?

[Anonymous]

Being flirted with. It’s fun if the person means it to be harmless and not to hit on me.

[firenine909]

That’s more cordial teasing lmao

[Anonymous]

Neither, honestly. But if I had to choose I choose flirted with. Because I can just tell her to f*** off.

[Jerre]

Both happens to me, but I enjoy the girl flirting with me.

[Jerre]

@thegreenyogi Thank you for the Like

[msc545]

I would rather be flirted with if this has to happen at all. I don't flirt with anyone.

[msc545]

I don't do any of this because thanks to women and feminism in our weaponized legal system. It's become too damn dangerous.

[Paige90]

To be flirted with

[Abbycado]

So, you are Kim Denise Lang?

www.bing.com/.../search

[Panthero80]

I think it is hard for men to pick up on flirting as opposed to a woman being nice,

[serious]

Neither to be honest. It is good also

[queenofcardio]

I can be such a flirt 😄

[jazzy34]

Honestly? Neither one at this time.

[Shiprex]

Neither happens and I'm pleased about that.

[McSteamy]

I don't flirt... I don't notice others as well.

[ilistengood]

Im usually the flirt thats my favorite part too

[DrPepper12]

❤️❤️❤️ flirting ❤️❤️

[roganlone]

I definitely flirt more than flirted with

[Thecubs22]

Either or. Doesn't matter to me

[WonderingManII]

They don't happen to me.

[SoccerPlayer99]

Dunno. Don't know how to flirt.