One thing after the other 🥲?

Question

So as some of you know I'm currently pregnant, I don't know what to do with my baby's father that I'm currently with.
I just seen asked him to open up a conversation on his game app and it was with another girl. 💔

She said: awesome chat background
He said: thanks
She said: I may have to send you whatever messages just to be in here!
He sent an emoji of a guy getting his face slapped.
She said: lol who are you slapping
He said: you slapped me
She said : 😂😂😂 are you drunk? Hahaha
She said: did you just slap yourself?
He sent: na I have evidence that you did
She said: let's see them? The cheeks?
He said: emoji with a blushing face, I asked him what he meant and he said it's like saying you're a liar ffs
She then finished with: you're funny but no one will believe you. bee never slaps without good reason, hahaha

Is this not totally understably inappropriate?
We've been together three years, I just feel like wtf man

relativelyamerican · Accepted Answer

While it could be harmless or it could be malicious, it doesn’t really matter. If you’re going to raise a child with this guy, you two need to be able to sit down and have a discussion about where the boundaries are in your relationship. If you’re uncomfortable with that type of conversation with some girl online because he’s being shady about it, or he’s trying to act like it’s nothing whenever you feel it is something, or whatever the case may be then you’ve gotta feel confident and comfortable in knowing that if you come to him and say that you need to talk to him about that situation, he will be willing to do so. Assuming you have that level of communication and trust between each other you then each need to be willing and able to calmly discuss what has you upset.

Here’s the tricky part though. Just like you need to be able to tell him how you feel about something like that, he also needs to be able to tell you how he feels. You may not like hearing that just like he may not enjoy hearing your side but you each have to actually listen to one another first. Then you can take some time, and consider the others perspective. Ask yourself, after having taken the time to calmly and thoroughly think about it from their point of view whether whatever it was is still upsetting to you like it was before. Ask yourself if it was as big of a deal as it seemed then now that a bit of time has passed. See if you possibly could have acted based on your emotions at that moment or possibly even out of emotions that were building up over time that hadn’t been dealt with. You may find that you’re still upset, or you may find that you were not even upset about that specific thing at all really but that was just the last thing you could take and that was what caused a whole lot of other emotions to come spilling out.

If you are still upset, it’s time for you all to have a discussion about boundaries and for you to set some that are unambiguous and that he cannot manipulate or twist in the future. Then if he crosses that line again, you have to have the self respect to know that you are not asking too much by having standards and that you deserve the respect of those being honored by someone who you’re in a relationship with, let alone someone who you’re going to raise a child with. If he thinks that’s absurd or he simply isn’t willing to accept or abide by something that simple, get away now, because he is showing you exactly how much he values you as a person and as the mother of his child, not to mention exactly the kind of person that he truly is. You’re not expecting anything from him that you wouldn’t and don’t give back to him equally, and you deserve the same in return.

Maybe he will surprise you and tell you he’s sorry for making you uncomfortable and maybe he truly thought it was just innocent banter. Or maybe he will try to act like you are doing something wrong by even addressing it. Either way, you’ll have your answer at that point.

When someone shows you exactly who they are, believe them. Hope this helps.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

Well it sucks that it could just ne normal. What ever that. Is

But any way he won't mind then if I sent you a little happy flirt kinda chat ,, because we are normal lol and so is our chat

Sometime when your partner is doing thing you don't like. Then they tried to tell you to chill , because it's normal

And about the only way that they do understand is if the same thing was to happen to you then he might feel what you feel