Should I DM him?

[Anonymous]

I became social media friends with his mom after staying at her Airbnb. We connected there as she knew my parents and was friends with them when they were all younger. Her son is my age. She posts family photos, etc on instagram occasionally and a couple years ago I seen that he moved to my city and I while I didn’t pay much attention at the time, I have lately, and noticed from her stories and posts he seems like a great guy and I’d love to get to know him if he’s single. So I thought maybe slide into his dms but I also don’t want to seem like a creep. I don’t follow him on any social media.
I’m fit and active and have a pretty face but I’m not sure if he might find it weird. I’ve always just let men come to me so I’m curious how guys would feel about getting a dm from a stranger you don’t know at all but who somewhat knows your mom and obviously watches her stories? And if I were to slide in his DMs, I’m not sure what to say?

[SueShe]

Sliding into a total stranger's DM does make you look desperate. Not creepy as such but desperate and that would personally ring an alarm bell in my mind. Why would someone I don't know all of a sudden DM me if not because she wants something from me?

That would be my very personal reaction and that is exactly what happens here when someone I don't know sends me friendship requests.

Before sending a DM, I would start following his posts and perhaps making comments on his social media but I personally would refrain from starting directly with sending DM to that person.

[Asker]

Yeah desperate is not the vibe I’m going for. He doesn’t seem to post on social media very often so perhaps just moving on is the wisest choice. Thanks for your advice.

[MrChinaski]

Speaking on behalf of 3.5 billion men... :) ... I don't see a problem with the cold DM. You have to connect somehow in this life.

Just don't come across as crazy. A basic hi, compliment, something relevant about you, suggest non-demanding catch. I stumbled upon your profile because... you seem like a chill guy, I particularly like your sportiness, I play basketball myself, Do you want to catch up? I know this great coffee shop blah... suggest a broad but specific window like a couple of weeks when you are likely to be able to make time available. Take care. Done! Simple. Statement of his value to you, statement of your value to him.

Frankly, it's a low probability play, but the downside for you seems to be zero.

[MrChinaski]

All over in like 75 words.

[Iron_Man]

Swallow your pride you’ll lose out. You should DM him right now

[Asker]

True 🙂 “you miss 100% of the shots you don't take”
Does it matter much what I would say/write?

[Iron_Man]

Just text him be nice and friendly be yourself and make a good effort

[beenherebefore]

I know you'll call me old fashioned but both my mom and grandma always told me to never pursue a Man and I always lived by it. The idea of me going after a Man is a bit degrading and a bit of an ego thing, especially if he's never seen me in my life. Now I don't like to judge people and I'll always root for people to follow their hearts I checked what most men wrote in your answers and most of them seem to have a positive reaction to it. If you do it don't have high expectations nor think too much about it.

[mistixs]

My grandma pursued my grandpa. If all women abided by that rule then I wouldn’t be here

[blackeagle007]

With times changing, no harm for the ladies being the purser. Lately if we pursue, we get called creep and crapped on for trying

[DishLady]

I’d you have to ask then your instinct is already giving you the correct answer… NO.

[Anonymous]

VERY BAD IDEA EXTREMELY BAD IDEA because from what you described it sounds like he doesn't have a lot of women hitting on him and if you do he'll think and assume you want to be more than friends and it'll make things awkward and weird and if you let him down and break his heart it'll make it weird and awkward between you and his mom. It's best NOT to dm him or talk to him because a guy (boy) like that will become clingy as hell and possessive

[PeachyPie93]

I don't know.. seems a bit odd to message him when you seen him from his moms posts, but up to you it is online..

[Twalli]

Just introduce yourself. You can ease into a romantic conversation slowly and find out where he's at in relation to a romantic relationship with you.

[Anonymous]

Why did you only respond to the person telling you to go for it? It’s a bad idea we are all trying to warn you and instead you go with the one reinforcing a bad idea.

[Asker]

Lol that was the answer that came first and I just hadn’t logged on to reply to the others yet. Anyways, I didn’t go with anything. Will probably just move on.

[loveladies1]

Go for it a good guy won't have a problem with it. Or maybe of the moms are friends you can get together as a group first.

[Anonymous]

Think outside the box.


Bang his mom as a power move

[queenofcardio]

I wouldn't. Might be very awkward 😬

[WonderingManII]

I don't mind random DMs from Women.

[onecuriousguy2454]

I think you should

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Nope

[In_Trance]

Sure

[chase_strickland800]

I think you should

[Asker]

I find it interesting that the general census of men seem to think its fine but women caution coming across as desperate or awkward

[chase_strickland800]

I’m just as desperate as one of the girls I’ve been single my whole life of course the only difference is I like girls cause I’m a guy