Guys, was this doctor flirting? What should be the next move?

[Anonymous]

Okay, I need male opinions about this. This is the SECOND time I’ve seen this doctor. First time we met there was already some flirting. This time though… There was tons of eye contact 👀 — even when he was talking to my mum (the patient), and even when I wasn’t looking at him. I’d catch him looking. At one point he did the triangle look (eyes → lips → eyes). 👄 He kept asking me what I thought of his diagnosis and whether I had questions — even though my mum is the patient. He gave me the once-over twice. There was teasing / inside-joke energy. We called my cousin (who’s also an orthopaedic surgeon) so they could discuss surgery. I reacted to my cousin’s WhatsApp photo saying, “Wow, is that recent?” and the doctor immediately laughed and asked, “What is he to you?” My mum said, “Just her cousin.” Later I told my mum I think he was fishing. She agrees. 🎣 As we were leaving his office, he put his arm around my shoulders. Then in the waiting area (while I was filling out forms for my mum), he kept looking over at me — to the point other patients were noticing. When he finished with them, he looked like he was about to say something to me but got interrupted by a colleague. Then as he walked away, he turned back and said, “Can I get you a coffee?” I said yes. He told his secretary to make me one and then went into his office. So… Men of GirlsaskGuys: is this clear flirting? Or just a charismatic doctor being friendly? And if it was flirting, what’s the move? 1. Leave my business card discreetly with the secretary? 2. Add/message him on Facebook? 3. Do nothing and let him make the next move (if any)? Be honest. Am I reading into this?

[Desi_Butcher]

Indeed! Flirting it was. Why else he would put his arm around ur shoulder or ask u for a coffee
Next move depends if you like him. Do you?

[Asker]

Thanks for the super quick response! Yes, I’m interested. It’s tricky though! Like my mum is his patient now…so how do I go about this? Or should I wake and see what happens?

[Desi_Butcher]

When is your next visit?

[Asker]

Sorry *wait and see*. Her surgery is tomorrow (he’s the one operating). We don’t know at what time yet, but if it’s in the morning, I will probably see him. Won’t be free in the afternoon though.

[Desi_Butcher]

Then you'll get clear hints tomorrow. Since u like him just play along and see where it goes.

[Asker]

Should I let him take the lead then? You really think he’s going to make a move tomorrow, if I see him?

[Desi_Butcher]

If he's interested in you, he'll make it for sure

[Asker]

He’s here hoping 🙏🤞 thanks for the advice!

[Desi_Butcher]

No problem at all. If you need any help again just hmu

[Asker]

Thank you 🙌 well they confirmed the surgery for tomorrow but at a time I’m not free, no chance of seeing him tomorrow 😔. So…what now?

[Desi_Butcher]

Hmmm so why don't u ping him since u want him..

[Asker]

Hmm. I only have his secretary’s phone number and email. I did find his profile on Facebook though. By the looks of it, he’s an active user. I’m so terrified of making this awkward. How do I go about this?

[Desi_Butcher]

U wanna DM?

[Desi_Butcher]

The convo is getting longer so DMs r convenient... Anyway u don't have his direct contact rn. Sending FB req won't harm though.

[Asker]

Sorry! I emailed him his secretary to forward to him saying I can be contacted for post surgery advice and left my phone number too 🙏🤞

[Desi_Butcher]

Cool!! U can keep ur fingers crossed. U can send him FB req too in my opinion

[Asker]

Maybe let’s see if he replies to my email/calls me. If nothing, then FB? For now it’s 🤞🤞🤞

[Desi_Butcher]

Sounds like a foolproof plan 😉

[Asker]

I just received a DM from him via email! Super short, but at least it’s direct, from his email to mine: “Please be reassured that we will do everything to look after your mother. You won’t need to do anything.

Best wishes.” what now? Reply? Leave it? It’s not the most inviting message, is it? But at least it’s a DM…

[Desi_Butcher]

Hmmm it's pretty much formal. Makes one rethink about it all. U should respond that u have faith in him and his words are reassuring indeed. Hope to see u once everything is finished. Something along these lines making way for u to meet him.

[Asker]

Yeah, I emailed him saying thanks for the reassurance etc. and he just emailed me a few minutes ago with updates on where about they are for the surgery preps. I have never seen a doctor take time to email a family member of the patient to do that!

[Desi_Butcher]

At this point I'd just wait until u actually get to meet him or u get his personal contact

[Asker]

Yes. He emailed me again post surgery to let me know it went well, so I think it’s heading in that direction (him giving his personal contacts) 🤞

[Desi_Butcher]

Seems like you are on the right track 😉

[Alex-Snow]

He obviously was flirting and should not do it in front of your mom. Let him make the next move.

[Asker]

lol, yeah I agree, pretty ballsy to flirt like that in front of my mum. Do you really think he’s going to make a (next) move?

[Alex-Snow]

I don't know but I'm sure he can find you via contact info on your moms chart. Is he a younger doc or an older one?

[Asker]

Actually I had to email him about the surgery, so he has my email and number. He’s has it for a few days now and nothing happened. Yeah, he’s older.

[Alex-Snow]

Maybe it is best to stick with a guy closer in age to you. Any boyfriend in your life currently? Hope your mom is doing well.

[Asker]

Hmm I don’t think he’s massively older than me. I’d say maybe like 7 or 8 years older? Nope, single since 8 months ago. Mum is alright, thanks 😊