Is this girl actually into me or just being extra friendly?

[Anonymous]

I really didn't think of it too much but I started seeing patterns of picking up my food order in which I got more smiles but the person in front of me didn't, one of the things I noticed was I went to grab my order from her and I saw her look directly at my left hand, again I still didn't make anything of it, but I noticed whenever she saw me arrive we would look at each other and both smile at each other. OK so fast forward (I started to get curious) Picked up my order but I saw a sign behind her (I really was curious about it) and it seemed like she got really caught off guard to the point where it seemed like she got flustered, she went back inside and got someone who tries to explain it, while the guy wasn't even sure about it and he tried his best to explain it she's looking at me I looked at her thinking she was going to say something but then she shifts her eyes in a different direction.

Another time was when I came to pick up my order she laughs and says I already know your name, talked a bit about drink combinations and left on a good note.

Updates

1 mo

I ended up talking again and she ended up telling me the schedule she would be working the next day.

[HollyK21]

This is literally part of the job, being friendly. You’re over analyzing every little thing.

[HollyK21]

Per your update, that’s very vague. Did she tell you out of the blue her schedule for tomorrow or did you ask?

[Asker]

She told me out of the blue I only told her if I don't see her again have a nice weekend and that's when she told me the times she would be working the next day. I was just expecting a "you too" response.

[HollyK21]

So I say this with zero bias, not trying to discourage you or anything like that, and obviously I could be wrong, which I’m fine with. BUT I am having a hard time seeing these exchanges as anything other than her having friendly chat with someone who’s fairly regular. I don’t know how often you go to pick up food, but it could be more than, say, the person in front of you who didn’t get much engagement, for all you know they could be passing through, rarely ever go. Meanwhile you’re someone she now recognizes and gradually feel more comfortable chatting with the more you show up. You may eventually get perks, like throwing in an extra egg roll, or not charging for that drink you just got. But that does not necessarily mean the service worker is trying to relay some sort of deeper interest or flirtation. It could seem that way if you are not used to being shown such kindness, or attention from a woman who you find attractive, but ultimately she’s just personable in a way that you may not understand. I say none of this to make you doubt your knowledge or experience when it comes to women, I’m just trying to give you perspective as a woman who’s also worked in customer service twice, both jobs for almost 3 years. I’m hugely polite, smiling, and moderately happy when I would see certain people come in. I was polite with everyone but surely there was a noticeable difference when a regular came in.

You may disagree with my take and hopefully it’s not one that you believe is ill-intended. However, I think that when we don’t have factual input from the person in question (aka her), then outside speculation that you may deem uninformed is equally fair to consider because we are both working with the unknown. In any case, if you know you like her, then maybe at some point you could slip her your number to remove any “on the spot” pressure as if you were to ask for hers while she’s working. But that’s really your best move.

[Asker]

Not doubting you at all at best I would have not given this no mind but watching her interactions like walking in front of my car with her head down but she knows it's me then walking back she smiles and waves and this past Saturday I did come within the windows she gave for her work and she has another co-worker if she did say anything to her it might just be her only as she had her run out the food and I saw her mouth something to her and she quickly looked up at me, this ties into the coworker who is just very observant or has been pointed out, she checks my order in no matter how full, I even joke with her about it.

I guess I can figure out more if she's working tomorrow if the telling me the time was anything more than that.

[Asker]

My number is printed on the order ticket but I'm sure anyone would be creeped out if something texts you like that

[HollyK21]

Yeaaah, I wouldn’t count on the order ticket to make things happen, you’ve gotta do it. For one, usually women don’t feel comfortable making the move first, which we can blame on societal norms or whatever but it is what it is.

Second, I doubt she’d find it appropriate to take it upon herself to text your number. On her end it could be a huge risk, like for all she knows you could report her to her manager (even though you know you’d never, she doesn’t know that). No sort of romantic interest has been established, she doesn’t know if you’re single, like that’s just such a big fat no for her and quite understandably. Something I often say to people with crushes and not sure what to do, is that even if you have no idea where THEY stand, you know how YOU feel, so act on what you do know rather than waiting around for what you don’t. In your mind, you’d like her to have the confidence to make a move, so you should hold the same expectations of yourself. Plus, it’s way less risk for you, because if she rejects then you can either brush it off or eat elsewhere until you feel comfortable again.

[Asker]

Yeah I know for sure she knew I came both times I just want to see how the reaction she has when I told her just to get a feel if it's friendly over something more.. but at least her and her coworker's dialogs are not the basic reading from the script type lol

[HollyK21]

Sorry to just now respond, I had logged off for the night lol. My biggest advice is don’t wait forever to take your shot because you could miss out, and don’t be afraid of rejection — you can handle it. I know the more self-assured thing would be to negate this, say you’re not worried about rejection and you just wanna be sure. But respectfully, you just don’t know her on that sort of level. You’re picking apart almost every little detail when it comes to the mannerisms she’s displaying between you and other customers, but to me they are just such generic “signs”, not major hints and honestly I don't know if you’d ever get that from her while she’s at work. In fact you may be getting her best side while she’s on the clock but in reality she isn’t that cheery person. So you can keep waiting if you want but eventually it’ll just look like excuses and during that time whatever ever interest she may or may not have could wane.

[Asker]

Haha so I saw her this past Friday and I did get to ask her was that her I saw walking, so I already knew it was her but just making small talk to her but yeah she confirmed it was her and she said she lives around the area and she was in a car crash but she learned a lot from it but she was on her way to the gym that day but she's like you should've honked your horn and I would've waved at you if I saw you.. anyone else I would of just ignored them. Just before I pulled off I asked her if she was working tomorrow and she told me the times and I said ok that's nice I should catch you later.

[HollyK21]

I appreciate the update but I’m not sure what to make of it lol mainly because nothing significant stood out. Why not just ask her out man, I don’t understand. This exchange was generic, I’m not sure how you could take anything from it. At this rate nothing is going to happen because she isn’t putting out the signs you think you’d need to succeed. I don't know what you’re waiting for I guess.

[Sabrejd]

Dude, the chick is totally into you. Trust your instinct and just be you. Talk to her more and more when you go in, ask about her job, how hard or how long she works. Ask for n example like how long do you work today? When did you come in, when do you leave. Then ask if she wants to do anything after work. Whatever is normal in your area. Coffee, drinks, Turkish bath, whatever.

[Asker]

Sorry for the long update just because the interactions are so short because of the line behind me I told her have a wonderful weekend and she ended up telling me she worked the next day and told me the schedule that she was working.

[Hunter-40m]

May be you should stop thinking about it and take action

[Nikki1989]

At your age you should have figured out a good 20+ years ago that being friendly is part of their job.

[Anonymous]

It’s her job to be friendly.