Is being called a "Stepford Wife" meant as an insult?

[Anonymous]

My husbands friend called me that the other day. The situation was that he was having a guys night and I went to sleep at my sisters place for the night. I prepared some mini sandwiches, mini quiches, dips and a tortillia. Not that much really. I also had chilli on the stove and told him to let it simmer for for another half an hour and then his friend was like"Jesus Christ you are a stepford wife"

My husband said it's a compliment about the food.Now t's been a while since I watched that movie but bascially they're stupid, mindless girls who are married to total doucebags, it's hardly a compliment . I don't know am I wrong to take offense in it?

[Anonymous]

I think it was a comment in poor taste, but he meant no offense. "Stepford wife" doesn't have the best meaning; your interpretation of it is pretty much correct. Wives who conform, don't think independently, and are subservient to their husbands, waiting on them hand and foot. I wouldn't take it as a compliment or insult (because I'm sure he didn't mean it that way), just a comment that wasn't well thought out. He was trying to compliment how nice it was of you to make them so much food.

You were fine, there's nothing wrong with making food for your husband and people coming over. It was very thoughtful. He probably should've just said thanks.

[peace-love-couture]

I've heard it used in scenarios like this

I perceive it as being a cookie cutter "Connecticut" wife. The proper lady who stays at home, takes care of her man, usually middle to upperclass.

The food you made stood out to me, mostly cause it's not typical for a guys night.

I wouldn't have taken it as a compliment or insult...but that's me

But if I had to choose, a compliment

[Asker]

Really? I thought it was very typical for a guys night that's why I made it.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's more the connotation as in you are one of those wives of a few decades ago, where they would have everything ready for the husband, they were perfect in everyway. I wouldn't take offense of it, just take it as it is rare to have a wife who will do that for their husband.

[Anonymous]

You know, I've been puzzled by this term as well. From what I understand, a Stepford wife is supposed to be an insult. But it's also supposed to describe a wife who's smoking hot, super nice, loving, caring, etc. Which, of course, begs the question, "why the hell is that a BAD thing again?"

Would love to understand this.

[Asker]

Because it's used for women who live for that only, like the guy below you said

[Opinion Owner]

I think I need to read this book. At any rate, a girl who's smoking hot, super nice, etc., etc., is ONLY a good thing. I think there's a lot of BS out there that guys prefer or SHOULD prefer a girl who's more difficult, less pleasant, etc. Not buying into that!

[THE_Godfather]

I wouldn't say anything like that. Sorry I take it as an insult.

You went above & beyond for your husband.

Next time just pick up the items & let them make their own sandwiches etc.

www.urbandictionary

1. Stepford Wife 1.) Used to describe a servile, compliant, submissive, spineless wife.

[Asker]

I do I agree, it's a very negative word to use. I don't think it was too much though, I enjoy cooking and it wasn't that much effort really

[Anonymous]

It sounds like he meant it as a compliment. He meant it as you go above and beyond what most women would do for their husbands now. He was impressed by the things you prepared for them.

The only ones that mean it as you being stupid are feminists. The prim, proper women that do things like that are seen as mindless by them.

[Asker]

ok thx. He just choose an ood way to say that. He could have just thank you.

I really don't think it's that uncommon though. My parents are from france and italy and good food is valued pretty highly there, so that's how I see it too. I like cooking and I know tons of girls that do too

[Opinion Owner]

I would be surprised if he has even seen the movie and thinks of it the same way as you about what Stepford wives mean. Being a guy that has never seen the movie and has, I guess, a partial view of what a Stepford wife is, I don't necessarily think it was an odd thing to say.

I disagree that what you do is common. I really don't think it is.

[onlyaguy]

I really don't think he meant the mindless, stupid part - he just meant you are a great wife.

[Asker]

Ok, it's just an odd way to say it, he could have just said thank you

[onlyaguy]

Yeah, not the best way to express it.

[ThatBritishLad]

Well, if someone said I was a Stepford Smiler I'd punch them in the face for being correct :P

[Anonymous]

It means you're the stereotypical housewife