What do women think of guys not approaching women as much?

Question

I've noticed a few questions by guys about men not approaching women as much as they did in the past. I don't approach women a lot these days as It seems that I'm better off focusing on work, investing, and various hobbies.

I would like to know what women think about men approaching women less.

- what do you believe are the reasons?

-Who or What do you think is to blame?(if anyone or anything can be blamed)

-Do you believe it's one of those things that people will regret?

TedStar · Accepted Answer

I thin that is unfortunate. Generally most men love women and for most guys a good healthy relationship is something we want. Too many people from both sides are making the error of living their life in pieces and compartmentalizing their lives. You don't just breathe for 5 minutes while the rest of your body is switched off. Then switch that off and smell for 5 minutes and so on. You do that all at the same time. People need to stop passing up opportunities for unnecessary reasons. When they are 40 and alone they will wonder why they didn't go after Susan or Why they didn't give Paul a chance.Most people have the ability to balance school,work,play and relationships

People also have this twisted view of relationships. A diet that is too one side is as unhealthy as a relationship where everything is hunky-dory. A perfect healthy relationship is one where everyone grows and you learn from each other.

I personally think that both parties as well as the common enemy Media are to blame. Media is the biggest influence and gives us the fantasy of relationships. People have lists upon list of traits they want and excuses upon excuse for not going after the people they fancy

Theguyoverthere · Accepted Answer

Women aren't being approached as much these days because they've been pushing guys away honestly.

Approach a girl at the bookstore and she'll complain she's trying to read. Approach a girl at the gym and she'll think it's because you were staring at her cleavage. Approach a girl on a college campus and she'll think you just want to hook up. Approach a girl at the bar and she(if she has any common sense) will realize the guy just wants sex. Message a girl online and she'll think you just want sex. See how I named a bunch of opportunities to approach women here? There are guys that do approach women, but the women push them away. I'll talk to women if they are open to actually talking. But many women are honestly pushing guys away.

Thing is, if girls weren't pushing guys away, guys would be more likely to approach. A lot of girls don't realize how off-putting their body language is. Plus, every time a guy does approach a girl, she gets an ego boost pushing the guy away and the guy ends up feeling down. So each girl's success at being approached is followed by another guy feeling worse about himself.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Honestly, I don't really care either way.

It would be nice to have someone approach me once in a while instead of always having to do it myself, which I always have. I've never been approached in my life, I've always had to do it. And it's gets old. Which is exactly how men felt which is why they stopped.

Basically, everyone likes to feel wanted and desired, and when you're never asked out EVER, you feel undesirable.

I wish people would just go for what they want, instead of always thinking, "Would they do this for ME?" And blah blah. Like the people who become obsessed with who texts who first and what not. WHO CARES?! You like someone, you want to talk to themz you talk to them. It's really that simple.

confugirl · Accepted Answer

I think guys don't do that anymore because they're so damn afraid of offending women. In turn, women are getting offended by pretty much everything, so we all lose. Plus, guys have convinced themselves that it's OK to be afraid all the time and they have very low self-esteem. We are all to blame, because women also no longer dropping hints or actively look for a man, they just hope one will magically drop in their lap.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

If you don't approach women, that's a personal choice. Personally I don't have a problem with getting approached by the men I want. Even if they don't chase after every pretty girl who walks by, I don't believe that most men will never approach a woman at all.  Either way, that's his personal choice. He'll just get less chances with women if he approaches less, that's on him.

Anonymous · Answer

The only thing I can say about this is that it bothers me that some women out there think I'm afraid of rejection or something and that's why I don't approach women as much. While in reality, the reason I don't approach women as much is because I'm not seeking a damn relationship. I don't want a girlfriend. Just look at the anonymous user that says, "It doesn't bother me. They're emotionally crippled and can't deal with rejections" Not every guy that refuses to approach women do so because of fear of rejection or are emotionally crippled. Some, like me, just don't give a sh*t about being in a relationship or meeting new people. If it happens, great, but I'm not going to actively search for a relationship when I don't care about being in one.

Some girls get this, but, in my opinion, most girls don't.

Maestro9 · Answer

I think that nowadays,"wooing" a girl does not really happen, as far as the guys in my age range are concerned. It more about getting what you want from the opposite gender. So guys aren't gonna make too effort for a girl they juz wanna have sex with and neither do the girls put more effort in. Even in the terms of looking for a relationship, people generally tend to put their careers and other things as a bigger priority than finding "the one". I would like to think the guys and girls are becoming more upfront and direct about they want instead trying "charm" the other person. Personally, unless a guy has a genuine interest in knowing me, I don't mind if they don't approach me and I have no qualms in taking the first step in approaching a guy I am interested in. However, I won't "chase" after a guy lol, he would have to man up and take control too.

Anonymous · Answer

just as long as you're not one of those guys who refuses to approach women and at the same time bitches and whines that he's lonely, doesn't have a girlfriend and that girls don't approach him.

or guys who use it as a kind of protest against percieved gender equalities like "girls should ask men out too, so now I refuse to approach any girl at all" which is just funny, I mean girls have ways of approaching men and showing our interest, if it's not happening to you, it means they don't find anything particularly alluring about you at first glance, so you're not going to make any of them cry by refusing to approach them, you're just dramatically decreasing your chances of ever getting laid, yeah...that'll show'em.

Janson · Answer

Most girls  don't care that much, and on here they don't care either for the most part, which is refreshing. It shows that they understand that what people do in the dating world is a personal choice. If you don't want to approach women, that's fine. Just don't whine and cry about being lonely, and don't blame being ugly on it either. Look at yourself and realize you have self confidence issues holding you back. If you want a girl, you have to get up and go get one. Girls aren't really going to care if the pity-party cabal decides to not approach them out of protest. Girls have options and they use the cards they have to their advantage, and rightfully so. Since women often struggle to attract men after a certain age, they damn well better play their cards early. Being single isn't a crime. Whining about it day in and day out with zero self-reflection however is a crime against yourself

OpenClose · Answer

I think we're running out of options.

I would love the thrill of approaching girls who seem awesome, and giving them random compliments. But you have to be allowed to screw up as you get to know them.

And these days, screwing up will get you slapped, or talked about as her next piece of gossip to her friends. link

At least for me it wasn't an elevator in Dublin.

ColdFeet · Answer

I don't think it's as much guys aren't approaching women anymore as it is a normal age change. As guys get older they get more selective about who they would bother pursuing. Even older again and they don't have any plans of approaching a woman but then they meet a girl and think she's worth it. So it's not that men don't do it anymore it's because the girls are getting older and older guys don't do it as much because they know what they want in a woman and are less likely to settle for whoever is f*ckable. This is better for everybody.

There could also be a global trend, I don't know.

Anonymous · Answer

What do you believe are the reasons?

Like your situation, I think some men could just not approach women as much because they're just not actively seeking a relationship (as they're content focusing on work, hobbies, etc.) I also think some men don't approach women as much as they may have used to because they are tired of rejection.

Who or what do you think is to blame?

I wouldn't say anyone or anything is really to blame, just depends on the reasons above.

Do you believe it's one of those things that people will regret?

Maybe in the short term they might think "I wish I would've approached that girl," but in the scheme of things, I don't think it really matters.

lumos · Answer

I don't really care. People have their reasons for it and I don't believe it's any of my business. I don't really think there's anyone to blame for it either, but I do understand that it becomes tiring in the long run. I dunno, I don't think life should revolve around dating and pursuing people, so I don't think much of it when someone decides they have other things to focus on.

samhradh_leannan · Answer

I'm sure there are many reasons why it can happen, and then there are also guys who approach as much as ever. But I think one situation can be that some guys are getting tired of being the one to have to do the approaching all the time. Which is understandable, but it's also not fair if men completely turn the tables and expect women to do all of the approaching. We should strive for equality, not role reversal.

yaddayaddayadda02 · Answer

I think that men have been made to feel guilty for being men over the past 30 years that it's lead to these man-boys who don't know how to get what they want out of fear of reprisal, so they retreat to a world of fantasy (online prn, Facebook stalking, texting) that isn't real communication.

toulouse · Answer

i think its great that women are taking control of their dating life and asking guys our. its understandable that'd result in less guys asking women out. its cool.

GoGoDancer · Answer

Women will probably think he's gay, shy or lacks confidence? I'm the shy/lack of  confidence thing Women believe and think only good looking guys are worth dating. I blame TV shows and movies because it keeps telling young girls and women that only the hot, good looking and attractive guys should be dating.

Anonymous · Answer

Who cares what they think!  If they have a problem with it they should step up and start doing it themselves in stead of just continuing to complain about all the inequities women face.

RedThread · Answer

Well it's part of living in a more equal society. Both men and women should be expected to go after what they want. We aren't living in the 50s anymore.

Anonymous · Answer

If a lot of women are approaching men and asking them out then those women who are doing that can't complain

kereru · Answer

that's completely your choice, I don't really care.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't really care. Sure enough guys would stop approaching since most guys are now feminine.

Anonymous · Answer

It doesn't bother me. They're emotionally crippled and can't deal with rejections

Anonymous · Answer

Women probably don't like it because now they actually have to put effort into a relationship

Anonymous · Answer

great because it would make girls approach too , so we may finally live in an equal world

moviedude714 · Answer

probably they think less of them unfortuneately

Anonymous · Answer

if he is good looking then it makes me sad

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think I care

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