GUYS: Have you ever regretted rejecting a girl?

[BBGyrl]

Have you ever turned down a relationship with a girl only to regret it later? If so, what made you change your mind and did you try to make amends and see if a relationship was still possible?

[Anonymous]

yes, but only once. But in a way I didn't completely reject her. It was a bit more complicated than that.

In HS I dated a girl for a very short time. About a month. She then broke up with me and began seeing one of my friends for a little while, but things never got off the ground. I sort of just moved on from her. A year later, she is into me again and wants to date me. She takes me to the turnabout dance and everything. This time, I had no interest in dating her. I just wasn't attracted to her anymore and had emotionally detached myself from her.

Fast forward about about 5yrs and after almost never seeing her. She ends up dating one of my good buddies who is in the military whom was like a brother to her for years. Because of this we reconnect. but mostly not for a few years after they started dating when my buddy finished his 4yrs in the military and came home for good. Now I see them quite a bit.

She made a total transformation, physically, and mentally. She's a pretty amazing women that any guy would be lucky to have. I'm happy for my buddy, but at the same time I sort of slap myself in the head for having had a chance with her.

Other than that, I think every girl I rejected I truly meant to reject. I'm not a picky guy so its actually pretty rare I even reject a girl. I try to give most girls a chance. I have first hand experience with dating people you just "decided to give a chance" and it paying large dividends.

[DifferentKindaGuy]

YES

I turned down a girl I liked because I was waiting for another girl. I got the girl I waited for, but it really didn't work out. It lasted less than two weeks. I still feel like a humongous jerk and a blind idiot. I was looking elsewhere while I had something even better right in front of me. I tried to reconnect with her but it didn't work out. It probably looked really bad, like things fell through with my first choice and I was trying to settle for her as my second choice.

Unfortunately, I still am that same blind idiot. I make the wrong choice. I'm oblivious and miss opportunities. I fail to appreciate something until after it is already gone.

[BBGyrl]

As much as I hate to hear what happened to you, thank you for sharing and being honest. Hopefully in the future you'll be able to appreciate what's in front of you. You're still young so you have time to work on it.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

The only reason I ever turn somebody down is because I don't feel it. I might tell her I don't feel the same way about her as she feels about me, but I'm generally pretty respectful. I might regret rejecting her if she takes it pretty hard, but I don't regret the rejection, I regret hurting her.

As for if I feel differently about a girl I rejected, it happens. Sometimes feelings change. When that happens, I do go back and tell her about it, and I'd ask her out, but if she says no, I can respect that.I don't need to make amends. I don't need to beg, or plead or try to make anything up to her. Way I see it, there's nothing wrong with rejecting if there's nothing there. As I said, the only thing I could feel bad enough to apologize for, is if I really hurt her, but really, it's never my goal, and I do my best not to break any hearts.

That all make any sense?

[Shpongolia]

Yes I have. It was in high school and I was very immature and super picky about the girls I attempted to date.

Then there were girls who may have not been super model gorgeous, but they were pretty and datable. When I look back on this, these girls were genuinely flirting with me but I was too oblivious to even recognize it. Now that I wised up, I figured out that these girls were actually expressing interest in hopes that I ask them out. I regretted not taking advantage of the opportunities because I would have had more dating experience behind me in my late 20s I think if I had a lot more dating experience, I would be a lot more successful in the dating scene at this point in time. I'm sure my oblivious behavior just drove these poor girls crazy if they were actually crushing on me.

[BBGyrl]

Thank you for your honesty. I'm glad that you were able to look back and realize, you're now in a better position for the future.

[backspace]

I've regretted that in some cases I never had the guts to make a move with a girl who was now clearly interested in me and she thought I was rejecting her.

I have two very huge such regrets but unfortunately I've got no idea how to make amends or get a second chance or at least get some closure. Too bad I really screwed up big time.

[mike5150]

Yes I did after we had a first date she wanted to continue going out but I didn't think we connected that well, and it started to feel like she was following me around because she was always there asking me. Later I thought to myself all this girl wanted was to spend time with me and get to know me and I wouldn't let her, I tried calling her a long time after just to see if she still remembered me but she said she didn't.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if this is the same thing or not but I've regretted lying to a girl. I felt bad about it, acted like a man, and apologized to her...I rarely do that, so you know she was something special

[jacquesvol]

I regretted it two times, was very happy about it other times. I didn't ever try or have the possibility to make amends.

[moviedude714]

yes, in high school my sophomore year, it's a very long story, looking back now I actually find her not at all bad-looking, decent attractive but not model looking but still attractive enough

[Anonymous]

No girl has ever liked me (and I'm 24), if one did I probably wouldn't reject her.

[BBGyrl]

Like I said to the other Anon User. Are you sure? Maybe you just weren't aware that someone was interested.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm a pretty observant person, but it is possible that I could have missed some interest from a girl. I wish girls were more obvious about their attraction.

[Eugene]

I don't recall ever rejecting a girl.

[BBGyrl]

So every girl that has ever liked you, you've gone out with her?

[Eugene]

Men aren't getting approached that often to reject someone often to begin with (or we fail to understand we've been approached). Maybe it's different in United States, I dunno.

I recall being KIND OF approached only once in my life and that girl was actually quite nice, so she became my girlfriend back in old days.

I never thought that if a girl starts talking to me first, she actually likes me. I usually think she's bored, she's killing time or needs some help/advice on something.

[BBGyrl]

I don't mean in the case of a girl approaching you, I mean in general. Even if you originally showed interest and then later on thought it wasn't going to work. Then later on you really thought about it and felt you made a mistake.

[Eugene]

Guess not. I realize quickly if things aren't going to work and just move along. It happens if I can see that a girl is not interested in me, or I can tell our interests/lifestyle/whatever are way too different and it's unlikely we'll get along. So I just think "better luck next time" that's it. Don't recall ever regretting moving along in those particular cases.

[Anonymous]

No girl has ever liked me.

[BBGyrl]

Are you sure that no girl has EVER liked you? See could have been shy and never said anything.

[Opinion Owner]

OK, I amend it to: No girl has ever liked me, as far as I know.

Either way, it's not good for me.

[Xhorxhi]

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[Xhorxhi]

Yes I have regreted a lot. In the high school I was the guy which girls liked the most. I had a good chances of dating with beatiful girls but I was too indifferent and shy for dating with a girl. So if I would have been in the same situations I would have acted different.