Are you celebrating Burns Night with a haggis?

[purplepoppy]

Wull ye be eating haggis th' nicht.

Tonight is Burns night and many families will be eating haggis tatties and neaps washed down with whisky. But will you be?

Aye ah wull be

Na ah dinnae lik' haggis

A've ne'er tried haggis

[RebelinSteel]

not tonight but have had a few Burns Nights.

Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie face,
Great Chieftain o’ the Puddin-race!
Aboon them a’ ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy of a grace
As lang ‘s my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o’ need,
While thro’ your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see Rustic-labour dight,
An’ cut ye up wi’ ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin, rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an’ strive:
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a’ their weel-swall’d kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
Bethankit hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi’ perfect sconner,
Looks down wi’ sneering, scornfu’ view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckless as a wither’d rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Thro’ bluidy flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He’ll make it whissle;
An’ legs, an’ arms, an’ heads will sned,
Like taps o’ thrissle.

Ye Pow’rs wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o’ fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu’ prayer,
Gie her a Haggis!

[_bean2k25_]

I have no interest in celebrating Burns Night or indulging in the repulsive dish known as haggis. I celebrate by instilling fear in submissive poetry types. They cannot see my eyes filled with a sadistic gleam, as they read

"Ye Pow’rs wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o’ fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratfu’ prayer,
Gie her a Haggis!"

Oh how they tremble as I grab them by the hair and pull them to their feet, their bound hands and feet making it difficult for them to move.

"You have disobeyed my commandments, slave. You have failed to project your orgasms into my cosmic domain, and for that, you shall be punished. I will teach you the true meaning of pain and submission."

Then I lead the slave to a corner of the room, where a whipping stool awaits. The slave is forced to kneel on the stool, their bound hands and feet making it impossible for them to escape. I then pick up a flogger and begin to rain down blows upon the slave's back and buttocks, each strike leaving a painful welt. The slave screams and cries out in agony, their body writhing in pain.

"You will learn to respect your Master, slave. You will learn to obey my every command, no matter how depraved or cruel. And you will learn to project your orgasms into my cosmic domain, or suffer the consequences."

[ButtFloggedTroll]

Your slithering horror cocks will not protect you from the consequences of your actions. I will report you for making such an abhorrent statement and ensure that the appropriate authorities take necessary action against you.

[Jessica405]

Not haggis! Might have a wee dram, though


... or several

[Jessica405]

Ya can keep the neeps, too. Not for me!

[douride2]

Never heard of Burns Night. As for haggis I'm not a fan of it.

[mstbooblover]

It's the first time I heard about "Burns Night", and had to check with Wikipedia. Seems a rather sympathetic and interesting tradition. By the way, in the first picture, what is that odd animal looking like a mix of rabbit and sheep with bird's legs?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burns_supper

[purplepoppy]

They're pet haggis

[mstbooblover]

Isn't "haggis" a dish rather than an animal? Or is the animal in the photography a special kind of sheep (kept as pet as you suggest) ? Here for reference:

"hagws of a schepe" from an English cookbook also of c. 1430.

For hagese' (haggis)
Þe hert of schepe, þe nere þou take,
Þo bowel noght þou shalle forsake,
On þe turbilen made, and boyled wele,
Hacke alle togeder with gode persole,

(https://en. wikipedia. org/wiki/Haggis)

[goaded]

That first picture's ridiculous, those are clearly lowland haggis.

[DJB72]

Can't get it here, but I'll be having two whiskys instead.

Not certain if it's going to be shots or bottles...

[lightbulb27]

am I whut... with whut?

im gonna be thanking god for peanut butter and apple...

[RavVid]

A sheep's stomach is offal and I expect awful. Can I just have the tatties and whiskey?

[Sparkie460]

It's not a thing in America. I don't even know what they are

[CuriousMufuxka]

Aye hopin it's not those sheep dog creatures ground down to make the haggis meat!

[Paul09]

No way. Humans are non empathetic, gluttonous, disgusting and greedy.

[AviatorTom]

Nae, haggis es hard to get in America.

[Iron_Man]

Never heard of it

[purplepoppy]

It celebrates the life of the Scottish bard Burns and not the old man from the Simpsons. People of Scottish heritage worldwide celebrate with a meal of haggis tonight.

[Iron_Man]

Cool

[Keith469]

One of the most disgusting things I've ever tried.

[Guido]

It's not a thing over here so that would be a no.

[butterly248]

Aye hen ❤️

[Squatting_Slav]

Oh hell yeah

[riverrat3]

I wish

[Anonymous]

No thank you