I fell in love with my stalker. Is this healthy after all the harrassment to fall for them and become submissive. They know you personally now anyway?

[Anonymous]

Not sure if I had of just talked to him in first place rather then ignored him he maynot have retaliated the way he did. This person is a stranger. After a year of torment and harrassment, following, stealing mail, showing up at workplace, kids afterschool activities etc... and having his friends monitor me. He has been in my life for some time now. He has made me feel ill when I found out he was monitoring my phone calls and had listened to my private conversations in regards to him stalking me. He has made me aware he knows what I have been saying to friends. I hated him and felt maybe I should give in as he knows more then what I feel comfortable with. He has been in my house while at work etc... leaving evidence of him being their. He admitted to someone I know that he cares for me deeply. When my friend asked him if I knew he replied "I don't think she does as I have been retaliating against her"! When I tried to appogise to him via a Facebook message for anything I may have done to offend him or upset him, he claims he don't know me and that he holds no vengence towards me. I don't know what to do because I have fallen for him but now he claims not to know me

[Pedantic]

Just as a reminder, they like questions tagged "GirlsAskGuys" only for those pertaining to the site. =-)

Hmmmm, now to answer your question. I think this is a really bad idea. The guy obviously can't communicate to you like a normal person. He can't speak his grievances and he can't confess his love. Not only is he a bad communicator, but he disrespected some serious boundaries and if you told him to stay away and didn't, then violated laws also.

If you were to get together with this guy, you would basically be dating a non-communicative vengeful (possibly criminal) man. Is that what you really want as a man in your life?

I think it is appropriate for you to raise your standards.

[TheManHimself]

It is natural, he made you go through a lot of emotions and now you are invested, you should do it with him, he earned it, but communicate with him so he doesn't do something stupid

[bubbiexo]

I would not call it healthy. I would call it something like Stockholm syndrome. While you're not exactly "captive" I do believe that you are in a way as he has invaded so many aspects of your life.

You've started to rationalize it for yourself and have been broken down to the point of just accepting it. That's not good- this is not love. You do not love him, you are just tired of fighting it.

Get help. Whether it is a doctor or an officer. I might even recommend both as he breaks into your house which is very illegal. Best of luck to you.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry but that sounds really creepy. A person who truly loves you wouldn't stalk you to the point you became ill. I think involving yourself in a relationship with such a person would only bring problems. He would probably be obsessive and controlling.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

This sounds like the worst idea on GaG of the day.

[knotme]

sounds like you need to seek psychological help