Girls like quiet, smart guys... maybe?

[chanmankarate]

I was wondering about girls attraction to guys that are smart and quiet. Im the kind of guy that will play the music at parties and sit there on my phone or bring stuff for my research lab to get a better understanding. Im not much of a talker, I like to listen to others more than talk. Im really easy to talk to once you start talking to me though, just not a person to initiate discussion normally at all. Most girls agree i have a great personality and think Im a great guy. I was wondering if that was part of the reason girls may not like me.

[dupe666]

You have to initiate. You have to approach, you have to express yourself to connect to other people. You have to show emotion and not be afraid to say what you think.
If you're at a party but doing homework no one cares. It's impressive that you're smart, but only if you INITIATE. If you actively go after her and show her how smart you are by engaging her in a conversation. You can't stand around and pretend you're on some display girls come to stare at when picking a partner. Men are initiators, women are reacting. If you expect to be chased and wanted by for being passive, girls can't want you. That's very unmanly behavior.

And being quiet?
There is something about guys who are calm, quiet. But only if their silence has a right purpose. Those guys who refuse to talk unless they have something smart to say, but aren't afraid to speak. The quiet guys who can make a crowd shut up when they have something to say. That's the "Still waters run deep." type of deal that attracts some women. But even this guy has to go after a girl if he likes her. Even he has to initiate, talk and pursue. As for your "not a talker" bullshit. Yeah, that's not real, that's just fear. To connect to others you have to talk, you have to share yourself. Practice.

But if a guy is quiet, alone and passive and they sniff out "boring", "stupid", "self-censoring", or "scared of people" on him, he's the last guy they'll look at. And no, you can't change this perspective by carrying around profound books, or doing homework at a party. Not only is this guy not initiating, but he looks like he's not initiating because he has nothing to offer.

Men think they can bullshit women with some "impressive" behavior, but a 5 minute conversation is all she needs to know who she's dealing with. If you're awkward and she's around, it's not because you "tricked her" with something you did, but because she likes your demeanor, personality, looks, was amused by your presence and wants to get to know you.

[-Zoe-]

I like quiet but happy guy.. I noticed that a quiet guy is smart.. but I don't like him to be quiet all the time (specially if we already started to get to know each other).. I like give and take process.. he speaks, I listen.. I speak, he listens.. and we will start to share jokes or funny sense of humor then later on be more comfortable and more open.. :) I like that kind of guy..

[René19]

For some reason, I like quiet and smart guys more than the ranting one. Maybe because I've lived with this type of man for 18 years and I just grew accustomed to it more than any other type of guy. A quiet and smart guy is comforting for me because he usually listens to everything I say and tries to understand my problems, not criticising me for everything I say or do.

[Anonymous]

girls have reiterated countless times on this site they like confident guys. being quite doesn't exude confidence. if anything it demonstrates you're boring. so grow a pair and speak up.

you said most girls say you're a great guy with a great personality but they don't date you. hmmm, think about that dude. If you're as smart as you're claiming you should be able to figure that out.

[chanmankarate]

smart guys are generally more awkward around girls than you would expect. I haven't had a girlfriend intentionally for 18 years because I didn't pay attention to them. it was too much work, and i was focused on academics and got into a really good school instead.

[Opinion Owner]

I think what you really mean by "smart guys" is nerds.

[chanmankarate]

yeah. nerd is more accurate.

[JustLoveLexi]

Guys who are smart and quiet are definitely more mature than the guys who party all the time, are "bad boys", or who are players, and all girls want someone more mature. So yes, girls do like quiet smart guys. xx

[wiebedonche]

well i don't like realy supid people :p they are most of the time so immature and i hate that :p but than you have the realy smart people who are realy egocentric and think they know everything better and that is annoying too :p

[Snip77]

Girls like "Moneyguys"

[Anonymous]

I'm in love with a guy like that.