Is this normal? Why do I develop feelings so easily? Now I don't know what to do?

[Anonymous]

I don't understand myself. So I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months over a month ago. It was long distance, met him online, never met him in person... I know... I got really emotionally attached to him so it was very hard for me but it had to be done. He was going to college and I was entering my senior year in high school and we were both way too busy. Now I'm pretty much over him after a month and a half of crying and moping around and I can attribute this to a nice person I met on here :) He helped me realized was an ass my ex was and how I can do so much better. Here's the issue... We started talking constantly like all the damn time and so I started to feel attached to him.. now, all of the sudden I've started to develop feelings for this new guy and he's head over heals for someone else!!! He even got the sense that I was crushing on him a little and he said he wasn't interested. Ugh its just such a mess! I swore to myself I wouldn't do this again and well here I am! Bound to get hurt yet again! Is there something wrong with me? I seriously don't know what to do... How can I stop myself from developing stronger feelings for this guy and getting hurt?

Updates

+1 y

I know its probably a rebound but my emotions are all confused and I'm just really in need of advice...

[SweedyPie]

Someone advised me once to make a little list. So I'm passing it on to you. You need to know yourself before you can share yourself with someone else. So on a sheet of paper, write on one side all the good qualities and attributes you want in your ideal guy. Then make a list on the other side of the page with deal breakers/ things that turn you foo/ what you don't want. Don't look at the other list while doing so. They must be done separately. Might take you a few days too cuz you'll remember other things to add to the list. But doing this will let you have "guidelines" for the type you really want, that way you won't just fall for whoever is the niceguy of the moment just because he's there when you need him. By no means should this list be set in stone if a guy has most but not all either, since relationships are about compromise. It's just so you get all that you need and some of what you want.

Being easily attached to people is not the most horrible thing in the world, just try to restrict yourself to liking them as friends until you get a deeper understanding of who they are. And concerning this guy, I'm sure one of your criteria for the guy of your dreams can't possibly be that he'll be crazy over another girl that's not you right? So from the get go, you need to keep yourself in check and know he's not for you. You want someone who feels that way about you not someone else. Good luck!

[Asker]

haha thank you this made me smile :) Haha you're so right about that last point! :p Thank you. You have no idea how badly I needed someone to respond to this!

[SweedyPie]

No probs girllie, anytime ;)

[Asker]

I mean I know he's not for me, I just can't control how i feel sometimes. Its not like I'm going to act on it or anything ya know? I just feel that way even though I don't want to. What especially annoys me is when he shows me conversations they have... because I mean she's into him too. At least its a reality check...

[SweedyPie]

Yeah, maybe you can keep telling yourself he's more like a brother anyways and let those feelings pass away (jealousy/frustration/attachment in a non friends way). Focus on your list, you might even find that this guy is not really what you want deep down in any case!

[Asker]

ya I find myself very attracted to his personality but no so much physically so that helps too haha. I mean I might date him in theory but when it comes to reality I probably couldn't go through with it anyway. So that's good lol. Ya I mean in a weird way he is more like an older brother figure. He's also a bit older (not a ton don't worry lol) so I just need to keep reminding myself of these things and hopefully it will pass. I think I am just in a vulnerable space right now.

[SweedyPie]

Yes, be careful cuz when women generally feel vulnerable we tend to fall for the first man that says hi lol (not literally but you get my point). Keep your guard up, know what you want!

[PacificShark]

Fall in love with someone else, leave him, break all connections, call him bro. Whatever works :) Hope this helps :)

[Asker]

haha well I didn't cut all connections lol. I figure its just a kind of rebound crush. Nothing to serious lol. Plus we talk about the girl he likes so it puts things in perspective :)