My girlfriend stomps on my head several times, What should I do?

[Anonymous]

Hi there, i have been with my gf for 3 years and we live together. Since we have been together she has hit numerous times, slapped me 5 times continously, puching me on my head, kicking me , throwing things at me and lately she stomped on my head and broke a tooth. Sorry i knw this is weird asking for advice here but i do not really know where to go. It clear she has anger problems but everytime she hits me i just kind of forgave her and consider it as she night be very angry with me. Once she was hitting me so hard that i was literally scared that she would stab me or something but still never hit her back. Now even sometimes when she is angry , when she comes upclose to me i flinch everytime because she might hit me. I even flinch sometimes when she is close to me even if we are not fighting. I am recovering from a surgery and i can't move and have to stay bed ridden and today because i called her a liar while having an argument ( maybe she is not lying) she stormed came on the bed , hitting me on the face and punches me on my head and literally stomped my head 3 to 4 times with her feets and broke my tooth. it doesn't hurt but hurts meso most emotonally. i really love her and am always trying to tell myself that its part of my fault that she hits me which is very true. but i want to know if i am doing the right thing? will ever stop? can she hit me all the time she is angry at me, she has hit me over 20 times during past 2 years. what should i do? i tried to tell her that it should stop and i was very serious about it. Her last relationship was very violent as she told me that her ex used to hit her, maybe thats y she is so violent but i am not a violent person at all and it is affecting me so much. What should i do? Thank you for your time.

[CelticaAvery]

Hey, in my personal opinion, it's best to let her go. She's the cacti type: the more you hold on to her, the more she hurts you literally and emotionally.
If you want to help her, try to find some anger management courses that she can go to. If she refuses to go, then you'll have to break up with her, as difficult as that is to do.
Try not to anger her as much as possible. If you know she doesn't like something you do (if it's unreasonable), then don't do that anymore.
I also see another warning sign here: talking about her ex. Remind her that he's a part of her past and that she needs to let him go. If she won't listen to you and/or becomes more violent (or even continues being as violent as she normally is) then it's time to move on.
Go and find help from a psychologist or other mental health professional, they should be able to offer you advice on how to let her go in a way that'll make the process less painful for you. Most people who are violent cannot be fully cured. I know this because my dad has known at least two violent people in his lifetime who are still bad tempered and at the very least are prone to verbally abusive outbursts today.
When in doubt, it's better for you to separate, at least for 3-6 months. You need to recover both physically and emotionally.
I hope this helps. Go for it!

[Battooot]

I would never, ever, ever... be silent to a girl if she hits me. No matter how much i LOVE her; if there is no respect in the relationship it CANNOT work. If my girl lays a finger on me, i'm not gonna hit her, but i'l show her what i'm capable of doing and scare her. In the least, i would shake the shit out of her while explaining to her (probably shouting) that she better not disrepect me like that EVER again. If she insisted later on hitting me, i'm gona dump her and tell her COME BACK WHEN YOU LEARN HOW TO TREAT YOUR MAN.

[Hidden_P]

Go to the police. Don't break up with her there and then because she will become abusive again. Call the police and let them help you through what to do next and breaking up with her. For instance, they can take you away and you can end the relationship as you leave, but don't end it while you still have to be there.

There's no excuse for violence like that. You haven't done anything, it's her with the problem. Her ex being violent is an excuse - if her ex was a mass murderer, it's okay for her to go kill loads of people? Of course not.

Good luck

[lumos]

You need to go to the police and report her. Break up with her and get a restraining order. She is a dangerous person and you shouldn't put up with her abusing you like this just because she's your girlfriend. She will never stop. Abusers don't tend to stop, ever, for anyone.

[Asker]

As a girl i would like to ask u if i may, what if i say something that really hurt u which i ddnt mean intentionally but u saw it as if i did it intentionally , what would u do? would react like this? Thank u

[lumos]

I would explain how I feel and then hear you out. If you managed to convince me that you actually didn't mean it and that I simply misunderstood what you said, then I would apologize for taking it the wrong way. Misunderstandings happen and it's ok.
However, this doesn't seem like a misunderstanding to me at all. What she's doing is wrong, nothing justifies beating your partner unless it's for self-defense (and clearly she's not defending herself, she's just lashing out on you). Seriously, you need to break up with her and get out of that situation before she actually does something incredibly damaging.

[Asker]

Thank u for ur advice but i would really like to know if its only people who r nice and understanding like u who react like this , or its supposed to be like this

[lumos]

I think that depends on the person, and also on the misunderstanding. Some people are very forgiving and can admit to being in the wrong or understanding a situation wrong. Others aren't as forgiving and have to be 100% right all the time because of their pride. But no, it's not normal for someone to beat you like this. She has some serious anger issues. A normal person would apologize, or at the very least get over it after a while without wanting to hurt you. A normal person doesn't lash out on you and start beating you up. It's not supposed to be like that.

[Asker]

Thank you very much for your advice and for not judging me as a coward man. its just very confusing koz i want to make myself not believe that she is a bad person and i hope its not me who is the reason she is acting like this

[NExPats12]

Sorry she deserves the shit beat out of her, it's just wrong what she's doing and she knows it's wrong too. Send her ass to anger management, and find someone else!

[ItsJulia]

that is an abusive relationship, and I advice you get as much support as possible and leave.

[Asker]

I am very scared to leave her koz i love her but more what if i do leave her and then realise that it was actually my fault that she was hitting me so much , what if i could do something about it

[ItsJulia]

hitting someone is never ok. she may have been angry with certain things you've done, I don't know, but its not your fault she cannot handle her problems well. You deserve to be with someone who treats you better. You might not think that now, but you are worth more than that. I'm sure you two must love each other but if it is unhealthy, please get out fast.

[Asker]

Thank you for your advice and i would like to know if i called her a liar and she was not lying , can she get so angry about it so that she hits me like this , maybe what is said to her really hurt her , but does that justify her actions in any way, i want to have a honest answer for that please. thank you

[ItsJulia]

no. It seems like she is unable to have a mature conversation about your relationship and any problems it has. Maybe you should try to get space from her and start spending time with other people. When we try to get through to people and we get no where but frusterated, it is often best to accept how they are and that it is not our duty to get through to them. It is our duty to do what's best for ourselves. ALWAYS do whats best for you. You do not owe anyone anything. Stay strong, stay fierce :)

[Asker]

thank you julia i will definitely reflect on this. Thank u so much

[ItsJulia]

I am very happy to help and always here if you need more support or advice.

[bgrgbgrg]

either give her a nice ass kicking or put her in jail for good before she kills you one day... i sympathize for you brothre but this woman is nothing but a trouble and she will either kill you or injure you for life she does not seems to love you the least bit... honestly this bitch need s a nice ass kicking on her and needs her jaw broken too... but i would suggest go to the police and get rid of her as you need not get dirty just cause she is evil... most domestic violence are faced by men its only seen as women face it more as men don't complain about it... such nonsense is our society which always favours women... if this woman kills you even then she might only get 6yrs tops in prison then she'll be free on probation and would start fucking some other guy... get rid of her or you will suffer and may be pay with your life one day..

[bgrgbgrg]

if you do not leave this woman and keep saying its your fault that's why she is hitting you or trying to kill you then i have no sympathy for people like you either you kick her fucking ass or just simply call the police else when they will be taking your body in a body bag you will realise that forgiveness only cost you your life

[Anonymous]

BREAK UP WITH HER? or knock the bitch out... that's not the popular answer but I promise if you just bust her ass once, she will never raise her hand to you again...

[Asker]

Break up with her sounds easy it is not actually koz she has been part of my life , so somehow i feel responsible for this behavior of hers, maybe if she was with some1 else she would hit anyone like this

[Opinion Owner]

None of that matters. She does what she an get away with. Punch her in the face... bet she won't stomp on your head anymore.

[imbittered_punk]

Kick her the fuck out. Get away from that situation and get her out of your life. If you've got to defend yourself do it.

[Arianna16]

BREAK UP WITH HER!!! I know women abuse isn't right and neither should man abuse!

[Asker]

I knw i might be a reason for the aggressiveness but i knw for myself that i can't be that bad of a person to deserve this much

[Arianna16]

no you don't! u deserve better!!!

[Asker]

what should i do because i really love this girl, i know i sound very weak for a man but this the truth. its crazy

[Arianna16]

talk to her and say if she does it again then your over, maybe u can suggest anger management

[Asker]

well i did tell her that before in a very serious way and she even apologised but like today she is telling me that i am acting as a victim because it is my fault if she hit me

[Arianna16]

its not ur bloody fault unless u are being really horrible and stuff. but ur not, this is so un necessary!

[Bend_West_2]

Soo she's the man in this sick relationship? Ohk here's the thing guy, if you don't leave right now.. she WILL end up killing you by "MISTAKE"and you'd be in the other world sending signals that you forgive her for the 100th time smh.

[AdamThomas]

You need to grow a pair and leave, or this is probably gonna escalate til you end up dead.

[blondfrog]

Break up with her and call the police if you really want her to pay the price hide hidden cameras in your house when she abuses you.

[Anonymous]

that's really sad to hear. I think you should break up with her.

[CaptCrisp]

Holy shit... run bro.

[Allah-Diyen-Portakal]

Maybe you need to leave her