This is not only not very nice (if she's doing this as a joke), but it's unacceptable and intolerable if it continues. I would give you the same advice I'd give even a woman. Tell her to stop, and if it doesn't you make it stop by getting out of this relationship. If you really are NOT okay with this and she's hurting you, ask yourself if you can live with this for the rest of your life. Just because you are in love with someone doesn't make this right.
I'm not suggesting that you two can't pick things up and make it get any better, but she needs to understand that you're not going to put up with it anymore. You don't hit her, she doesn't hit you. Simple. Telling her that this is affecting your relationship for the worse.
So, a few things can happen here.
#1 You tell her to stop and she stops. Then carry on, soldier.
#2a You tell her to stop and she doesn't. Then, explain you can't continue, then follow through and leave.
#2b If in time she realizes that this was a mistake, you can get back together on the condition that it stops. If it does, revert to #1. If not, end it.
#3 You tolerate it if you can't leave her.
I'm all for trying to resolve it first and letting her know it seriously affects you badly. Buy her a punching bag and say, "Look use this and not me." I think she just thinks she's not hurting you, and you're a guy and maybe thinks you should take it. But let her know you'd the only bruising you wish to see on you is from getting hickies from her.
You leave her, that's how you stop it. There are some preparations you can make to make the break up smooth as possible.
Take pictures of all your bruises/injuries and go to the police secretly about it before leaving and tell them that she's blackmailing you. Your friends and family should believe you because they know and love you. Talk to family and friends about your situation, tell them before she tells them what she's doing to you, that she's blackmailing you and to not believe her if she does send them a message when you leave her. That should make it a bit easier for you. Some people may not believe you but that's usually how it goes in any break up. In every break up, there will be someone who sides with your ex not knowing the true story but you just have to ignore them and move on with life. They can't deny it when you have photographic evidence too.
I hope you do leave though, you will never be happy in this relationship and you deserve happiness.
Please get out of the relationship, you deserve better. As some others have mentioned, it's abusive and manipulative. She does not have your best interests at heart.
Again, you deserve better, you really do. She's physically abusive and sounds like she could be emotionally abusive as well. Talk to a sister, your mother, a close friend, coworker, or your doctor. Maybe someone at the Human Rights Office? They can definitely advise you well! I definitely say get out of the relationship. Cut ALL ties no matter how hard it is, file a report with the police, take pictures of the bruises and date them, record anything that you can while still there.
Your situation will not get any better by staying in it, only worse. There is nothing you can do or say to make it stop, there is something fundamentally wrong with her. There is nothing wrong with you, you deserve someone who will care for you, not bruise you.
I think you have some options. Get her on video tape hitting you would be the best way to prove your innocence. Or you can document all of your bruises over a period of time to show she has a history of physical violence against you.
If you want to break up immediately, then try to get a restraining order. If you are the first one that makes a formal legal complain against her, it will add credibility to your story. Especially if you currently have bruises, have been videotaping the bruising, or have her on tape threatening to lie about you hitting her.
Women lying about being beaten is so common the courts can't even take them seriously anymore without evidence. In fact claiming a husband beat her became really standard for any woman trying to take sole custody of the children for a long time. The worst her lies could do is convince some idiot to teach you a lesson for hitting girls, then you can send his ass to jail, and press charges against her for instigating the violence.
The BEST thing I think you can do is to talk to a lawyer. They could advise you better than we could. She is black mailing you and threatening to lie about you beating her. So she is breaking the law so they should take this seriously. She really needs criminal charges brought against her so she doesn't do this to another guy.
Domistic violence is a serious issue and should be addressed equally for men and women, its not something to be taken lightly.
You are afraid and she's physically and emotionally abuse you making you think you can't do anything but you can. You have to record her, tape her, gather evidence that she abuses you and file a report and she will be the one who will be arrested.
Men like women are humans too, no one should suffer upon the abuse of someone else's fists and/or words. You have rights. Use them.
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I usually have some brash opinion but in this case I will make an exception. If you are for real just get out of the relationship. Don't touch her. The authorities sadly will take her side automatically and she probably has the battered girlfriend act down pat. Just leave. She can't make you stay. No stronger power than the power of goodbye and never come back because it will always be the same shit even if she got help it would probably go from physical to mental abuse. That is how you get her to quit hitting you. Document every time she hits you or has hit you in a file take pics of the sites and the bruisestimes dates and context. You may not need them but could prove to be useful in the future if she raises hell and you find yourself in a legal mess. But leave. Nobody needs to put up with that guy or girl man or woman.
you need to leave there are resources you can use, im not sure where your from, I know it's scary leaving with all the threats, all the forms of blackmail. you don't deserve to be treated like this. you deserve the moon and stars. Huge hugs! !!! if you want to pm I can try to help. Your not alone
I don't think you've gotten any good advice at how to get out of an abusive relationship
Fact is, she has a hold on you mentally: the abuse, the blackmail, the threats. You feel powerless, like there is nothing you can do.
Except there is, and its very simple:
Walk away, run away, and never look back. If you two are cohabitating, talk to your parents, your friends, get in touch with a domestic violence shelter. The only way for you to break her grip on you is to stand up and leave.
Never speak to her again, never look at her again, never think of her again. Leave and cut her off from your life.
File a police report and a restraining order. And to make sure it works, don't threaten her with it, just do it.
Will is everything here, the will to act, the will to not let this continue anymore
Break up with her! Wait no, report her to authorities for abuse. DO NOT HIT BACK. I don't know if you've watched the news lately but chicks have gone crazy again killing their boyfriends and pouring acid on their dicks. Your gf could be a crazy. If you don't want to break up though then tell her firmly to stop or you'll break up with her.
Here's what you do. Next time she hits you, take her over your knee, hold her down very firmly and pull her pants and panties down, and say "You've been a bad girl for hitting me, you need to be punished" and spank her five times very hard. Do it everytime. She soon will learn.
Break up with her immediately.
Do NOT have sex her again because she will file rape charges.
Do NOT touch her even in self-defense, call the police instead.
If you suffer injuries, make sure you get a medical report and use it to file a police report against her.
Document everything, time and date of abuse, witnesses.
Trick her into confessing when there is a voice recorder in your pocket.
She's of course right, people won't believe you, and/or will make fun of you. This happens a lot more than people believe...
Get as far away from her as you can, and tell everyone who is curious EXACTLY what she said she would do, just in case she goes through with it./
If I was you I'd record her secretly admitting that she'd lie about you hitting her. Don't get her saying she'd tell them you hit her as that could be taken as if you actually have, get her to admit that she'd lying. Ask her "so you'd lie and tell them I hit you for telling them you hit me?". Then she has nothing to use against you, because you're right, they'll probably take her word over yours.
She'll hunt you down if you try to leave her and I'm sorry to say but you gotta marry this girl; she sounds like a real keeper and talk about rough sex.
I'm just messing with you bro. The best thing to do is walk away from this relationship as fast as you can. You shouldn't be with someone that hurts you not only physically, but probably emotionally via emasculating you in a way. Good luck bro.
Grow some damn balls, gently shove the palm of your hand to her face, push that bitch against the wall and say, " Not today, bitch.'
Then walk out the door with swag and screw her best friend... and her mother.
Raise your hand as if you're going to do something and then tell her
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Ypu know just like there is a bail out option for a pilot in a fighter jet... You need to docking bail out of your relationship RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!
if i was in your place i would have dumped her by now... WTF? She is abusive and also manipulative... run man run!!
Record her acts secretly and call rthe cops because if you leave her simple may she will chose some other as a victim so if you closed her all the ways then she can't do this again good luck I know you can stand for your self because truth is your side.
I'd start by making her life as miserable as possible... also call the local police station and you can also report that she might lie after you break up with her
Then keep making her life horrible, if she hits you, take her down and spank her... eventually she'll wish she left you earlier
That's not normal. She's being childish and abusive. I would leave her and find someone else. Most girls wouldn't hit or bruise their boyfriends! And especially laughing at it. She has some deep issues.
that's abuse. you need to leave her! and tell someone. you have the bruises why shouldn't they believe it?
Keep this with yourself. Best solution.
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Move on, simple.
Do you have a smart phone with a recorder on it. Just record her saying her blackmail and then tell her to piss off till the end of time. She tries to blackmail you, you press charges for defamation and use the audio recording as proof.
First off, why are you with her? She sounds like a bitch. Secondly, grab her wrist before she throws the punch. You don't have to hit her, but let her know that that's what you can do. Thirdly, she still sounds like a bitch. Lastly, I hope this helped
Get evidence. Record her doing it and take pics of the bruising for proof and then leave her butt. She is a manipulative psycho woman.
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