Girls, Why does my girlfriend have to tell her mom EVERYTHING?

[Jalord91]

Short and sweet - my girlfriend tells her mom absolutely everything, and I'm not sure why... I don't mean just little things, it's absolutely everything. Crazy intimate and private things she will just spill out to her. I don't want to end the relationship, but this is seriously bothering me. I've asked her to keep some things private and told her that it bothers me, but it gets me nowhere. The last thing was something extremely private that I hadn't told anybody - she promised me she wouldn't tell anybody, then I find out the same day that she told her mom. I want to know why she feels like she has to tell her every secret we have, is that normal? Why would she not respect my wishes about keeping it private? Is there a better way I can talk to her about it? I don't want this to ruin us, but I'm not okay with her mother knowing every detail about our relationship, it makes me very uncomfortable around them.

[JustBeingHonest7]

I'm not sure if it's normal, but it definitely isn't very mature.

She probably has a strong bond with her mom and is not mature enough to keep a secret.

Well if you have openly told her not to, and she continues doing it... idk-you can do like everyone else has said and start shutting her out. However, my opinion is that trust and respect are necessary in ANY successful relationship. What she is doing is not being respectful to you and she has lost your trust by not being able to respect your wishes with your secrets. Do you really want to be with someone who you have to monitor everything you say because you know you can't trust her?

Also, if you suddenly start shitting her out, I would imagine she will get offended by it and this may start a fight. I can see things like "well it's just my mom" or "you are overreacting" etc etc being thrown out. I really see the situation gettin worse, not better.

[mooky06]

It just sounds like your girlfriend has a very good bond with her mother. I don't think it's just like a mother bond but also a friendship bond which is hard to establish with some parents. Some daughters don't have that connection and bond with their mothers where they are comfortable to talk about anything and everything with them.

On the other hand she may have breached the code of conduct with the whole privacy thing with you. If you told her not to tell her mother about some certain things but she still spilled the beans, it will be hard to tell her certain things in the future. Maybe just don't tell her. If she ask why, just be like I don't want to say anything because you'll tell your mother and I find that uncomfortable. Hopefully she will realise it's a wake up call for her to keep her mouth shut.

[nicole_SOA]

So when someone tells a girl "don't tell anyone " and we're like of course I wont? We get to tell our best friends. Thats just going to happen. You're girlfriends mom is her best friend. Which sucks for you because she knows more about her daughters boyfriend than needs to be known. You've already said stuff about it but maybe one more time being stern about it? I hope it works out.

[Justacatlady]

I would tell her that if she continues to tell things that you have asked to keep private that your first step will be to not tell her things, to close off from her. If she continues it will end the relationship. I talk to my mom and I share some things that most people would thing strange to share but there are things that should be left between a couple and not shared. She needs to respect your boundaries with this.

[Anonymous]

Well she's showing you her true colors. One thing I have learned is accept people at their face value If you spoke to her and she still doing the same thing it's not going to change so the next choice is to either just stay with her and deal with it or end the relationship. It's not normal behavior especially with the really intimate details And she probably does it because they are really close.