Girls, Do you prefer a dominant boyfriend or a submissive boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

Would you rather have a relationship with a dominant guy aka bad boy who is confident, takes control and knows what to do in bed and does it without asking for permission or you prefer a submissive guy aka nice guy who is shy, non-assertive, respectful, obedient and passive and prefers that the woman takes control because he can't take it because of his passive personality and lack of confidence?

Dominant

submissive

[redeyemindtricks]

I am WAY over on the end of this spectrum -- I'm brash, forward, confident, opinionated, and challenging, and I *need* a man who can beat me at my own games -- and more -- pretty much every time. So, yeah, I need a dominant man.

BUT...
You gotta admit, the way you wrote this question... you're definitely trying to skew the answers in that direction.

I mean... "[submissive guy] can't take control because of his passive personality and lack of confidence"?
Lmfao.
Why couldn't you have written something like "He loves being overwhelmed by his woman, because that makes him feel more committed to her and her alone, and he's comfortable opening up and 'losing himself' in her presence"?

*I* still wouldn't pick that option, but, at least it wouldn't sound so goddamn toxic hahhaah

[Asker]

I wrote it that way because that's exactly how i am and by checking out the answers now i know i'm screwed :'(

[redeyemindtricks]

Well... You should work on that.

If you're submissive with her -- whether sexually or otherwise -- the point is that the submission should be SPECIAL, and it should be FOR HER.
If you're just... *like that*, pretty much straight across the board in yr whole life, then that would pretty much take all the shine off of it -- even for a girl who would totally be into this.

It's best if what you're sharing with HER is something that has *no* place (or at least very, very little) in the rest of yr life.

I mean... I'm sexually submissive (to absolutely insane extremes) with my husband... and what makes it hot is the fact that I'm the type of overly forward, challenging, assertive, "bitchy" person who pretty much finds herself falling into leadership positions in the REST of my life.
The submission is HIS, and his only.

You get me.

[Asker]

Yeah i get you, i'm not submissive in my life but i'm not confident with women and that's why i prefer a woman to take control because i can't but that doesn't mean i'll let her walk all over me, i can say no when i don't like something, it's not like i'm a sissy at everything but at approaching women and taking the lead with them i am.

[redeyemindtricks]

Honestly dude, you may not even be a submissive. You might be a fledgling dominant who hasn't grown the proverbial wings yet. Or, you might be somewhere in the middle.

If you attain that sort of confidence and self-awareness and are STILL turned on by the submissive role -- THEN, ok, fine.

But, right now, you are mistaking trepidation/uncertainty for submissiveness. Those are not even *close* to being the same.

[Kirah]

Submissive.

Though I'm sure other women would prefer dominant men. It's pretty much the norm.

[Kirah]

Are you submissive by any chance? If so, good luck. I know how hard it is for you to find someone.

[Asker]

Yes i am, and it's hard because society expects the man to be strong you know, like i have to be a leader, be a confident guy and take control with women, be the alpha male but not all guys are like that, some of us prefer the woman to be in charge and take the first step because that's the hardest part for us, and i must admit it, dominant women turn me on so it's in my nature to be submissive to women because not only i have no choice but i also enjoy it fortunally hehe

[PrettyMissy101]

Your not screwed. I like a submissive boyfriend because we all know who the boss is. I like nice, sweet guys who don't let there manliness prevent the world seeing their heart. So don't worry. There are plenty of sweet-heart girls who would love you

[Asker]

Thank you, nobody is perfect, i lack confidence, i'm timid and sensitive but what about my kindness, humility and loyalty, i think those are positive traits, so i need a girl that likes sweet guys like me, thanks for your answer, i hope you're telling the truth and not just being sentimental about me and lying to make me feel better.

[Azara]

between the two submissive for sure, but in reality i prefer a better balance. maybe

70 submissive : 30 dominant.

[Azara]

I assume you meant in general not -just- in bed. I meant in all ways.

[Asker]

I meant both in general and in bed

[Asker]

You're the only girl that wants a more submissive guy, i love you :) and you're right there must be a balance because when i say submissive it's not like 100% because when i don't like something i say no, but i need a women who can lead me and be in control that's all but i'm not a pushover or a floor rag of course not, just more obedient and will to follow and serve.

[DancingDoll9]

I think it's okay to be shy when you first meet a woman at some point later in the relationship you have to show her that you can make the tough decisions, you can protect her, that you have a voice. A man should know how to let the woman lead to an extent then he steps in and lets her know he's in control again. If you can learn how to mix the different characteristics of a bad boy and a good guy then you'll be sure to find a woman who won't take an advantage of you.

[kaylaS91]

I prefer dominant because I'm a natural sub.
That's only regarding my boyfriend, though. He knows the boundaries so it's more of a rp-type thing versus actually going without consent. A random guy sleeping with me without asking for permission is bordering on rape.

[redeyemindtricks]

Not just bordering on...

•___•

[xHoneyxBeex]

I want a man who is confident, kind, and respectful to me in our relationship but dominant and takes control in the bedroom.

[Asker]

Sorry i'm insecure and submissive with women.

[Rocket_Queen]

I like a dominant guy, but I also like to dominate on occasion. Because... sometimes ya don't feel like taking orders ya know

[Sarah03]

I prefer a dominant boyfriend, who takes control and basically does everything above that you listed if not more, this is for me personally, I am a submissive and like things rough.

[sparkly-crystal]

Dominant in bed but submissive when it comes to other things.

[Anonymous]

Dominant. I don't know why you think that needs to equate to bad boy though...

[Anonymous]

bad boy =/= dominant
and
respectful =/= submissive