How do I know if I can trust my Albanian lover? I have not been with him long and he wants to marry? I need help

[dannyandcharley]

Hi I'm An English girl and met an Albanian boy in Greece I have been with him for only 3 months but have already been to Albania and met his family. He said he wants to marry me, come to England for a bit to work and then move back to Albania with me, but there is something at the back of my mind telling me that he just wants to marry me for a visa in the UK and then leave me because I have heard so many similar stories. Can somebody give me some advice please.

[jacquesvol]

The facts:

-Albania is by far the poorest country in Europe, poorer than most North African countries.

Read more about it: link and: link

-Organized criminality is strong there, read : link

-Before 1985-1990 (death of Enver Hoxha, crumbling of Communism) it was the most extreme communist country in Europe too, too extreme for the USSR even. Read: link . It opened up a bit since.

That voice in the back of your mind may very well be right (or dead wrong, I'm 100% sure there live a lot of very good, honest and intelligent people there. If I was one of them, living there, I'd try to emigrate by all means. If I wasn't one of the very good, honest and intelligent people, living there I'd try to emigrate by all means too)

Is he a Muslim? 70% of the people there are Muslim. (see link under 'people')

According to Islam , Muslims aren't allowed to marry a non Muslim girl, unless she converts to Islam, of course.

[oceanavenue]

You're very intelligent

[Bledi__XX]

Im an Albanian man and my opinion is this: the comment by jacquesvol is not totally correct. Albania has changed since communist time. And all about Islam is not true. Im a muslim and Im married with a polish girl. She is catholic and I respect her religion. I permitted our daughter to be catholic also. I didn't emigrate. We are not such rich country, but we live normally in our country. Better here that walking in dark sections of destiny trying for European document and facing racism. I dont want to discuss policy now. My advice for our English girl is. Dont promise to marry him for a while. This will be a test period for him. If he really loves you he will wait. :) Good luck.

[DoctorJ58]

Well put.

[ThatGirlVL]

Hi, I'm an albanian girl, and I can tell you albanian guys get married with albanian girls really quickly: my father married my mom only after 3 months ( both albanian ) and she still regrets it! However, I've been living in italy for a really long time 15 years and I'm 100% albanian and when it comes to albanian guys asking for marrige.. I know for sure they want the visa.. Now you're in a really good position, all he wants is to get the visa.. and make money ( might also take your money ) and send everything to his parents in albania.. And one more thing.. why in this world should you move from UK to Albania.. Albania is a living hell, trust me, thats why all of us try to move to other countries! Just don't do that... If the guy is serious and you love/like him than try to live together for a few years.. just to see what's on his mind!

Personal experience

[EllaC]

That happened to me recently. I wasn't even dating the guy, but he claimed to love me and wants to marry me. You must understand... in their culture... these things go really fast. They meet, go out a few times and if they like each other they get engaged pretty soon. Three months is long enough for them. But it's different in our culture and if he doesn't get that, if he's pressuring you in any way... don't do it. If he's showing any signs of being posessive, leave him. Just don't do anything until you trust him completely, even if it takes years. If he loves you, he'll be willing to wait.

[Anonymous]

The fact. And just a fact.. Albanian muslims? Since when... they gone through years of comunism, they got no religion at all, accept a very small procent.. more muslims are in UK than in Albania.. i am Married to albanian for just over 11 years. We never argue, his family is lovely, we V got 2 kids, mrtgage, Jobs. Steady life.. if i were u, I would ask him to wait.. they all not that bad
..

[inkubus444]

totally agree with jacquesvol

it's really 50/50 either a con to get a visa or a real love story.

I have a friend who got married to a foreign guy who left her as soon as he got his ID. But this bad experience is not always how stories like these end.

Choose well, be just aware that things might get complicated.

[jacquesvol]

A friend of mine had it with an Iranian. Same as your friend.

Indeed:

"But this bad experience is not always how stories like these end.

Choose well, be just aware that things might get complicated."

I fully agree.

[Iryna]

Im married to an Albanian, yes mine needed visa too but I didn’t mind to help him. No one leaves his country just because! People fight for better life and I see nothing wrong in it, wrong is to stay in shit and do nothing about it!Im with my husband for almost 5 years now and from what I’ve learned is, if your boyfriend would just want visa he wouldn’t take you to Albania to meet his family. They are pretty serious about marriage and don’t bring anyone to meet they parents!
You have to see how is he with you, is he kind? Does he look after you? Love is so easy to see. You just have to look with open eyes

[Vaticka]

wait longer 3 months is way too early

[xaxaxaxa]

For me don't trust him propably he is an illegal immigrant in Greece and he can't get a green card. So he can't travel or stay in europe. That's way he is in such a hurry.

[Anonymous]

I am Albanian and i think just like jacquesvol and thats true