Does not calling a girl for long periods actually make her want you more?

[Anonymous]

This question is not for the woman! I am sure you ladies would disagree and say that the guy not calling just makes you frustrated...but then again, that may be proving my point. You can answer if you wish, but it sounds like to me, the longer you wait, the more the girl thinks about the guy.

So guys, I have noticed that with the girls that I like, I call earlier in hopes they feel the same way. It ALWAYS turns out that the ones I called earlier seem to lose interest in me fast. To be specific, when I say call earlier, I am saying waiting at least 2 days. And for the girls that I wait about a week, those girls give me more attention!

So, there are questions about how long to wait between calls, but my question is:

if you make a girl wait for you between calls constantly, does she end up desiring a call from you more. Thus making her want you more because she is thinking about you?

[jrose]

Maybe in the short term it makes a woman think about you more. It sure is irritating, and I'll admit, even if I don't really like a guy and he has my number but waits a week to call, I'm wondering when the hell/if he's going to call. (The ones I don't like I wonder so I can stop worrying about how best to let them down without being rude/mean)

But, past the first date, if you're waiting a week between calling me, I'm going to think one of two things: a) You're not that interested since you don't seem to have time to pick up the phone or b) You're a player with a couple girls going at once. Both of those things are going to make me consider walking away, and if it lasts more than a couple weeks I'm gone. I want a guy who wants to be with me, who's interested enough to want to talk to me every couple of days, not one who is too busy strategizing to actually get to know me.

[Asker]

I am trying to figure out if now after the first date with this girl I should be calling less or more! We had a great time and I was figuring not to call her until a few more days went by. After reading your post, I thought I should definitely give her a call so I don't look like I am playing her. I had also suggested we do something than had to disinvite her. So now, I think I look very bad. So I called her, and she picked up..

[jrose]

Yup, definitely the right move, if you don't call we assume it's because you're not interested.

[Asker]

I could not finish the story until you wrote again. She picked up the phone after I called, and said she would call me back..because she was on the phone with her mom. I was annoyed because she said she would call back before. She only has once out of 3 times so far. I waited..and waited. She texted at 4:30 am apologizing for not calling. Interesting...

[jrose]

Well, after grinning a bit and thinking it's a bit of poetic justice for you (sorry, but guys make us wait all the time and I can't help smiling a little) I thought about it. If she's not calling you back when she says, it's not a good sign.Maybe she's just busy or flighty, but if I like/respect a person I ALWAYS call them back,even if we're just acquaintences. Have you guys been on a second date?Did the first one seem to go well? If she's not excited to talk to you she might not be interested.

[Starside16]

If a guy is making me wait for a text for being aloof about it, I get annoyed and I move on.

[ryanontario]

maybe but there is always the risk of annoying them and if there interest in you was soft they may simply not care if you call or not . remember some girls give out there # to everyone and some of those guys they don't even like much or not really super interested in , geting the # is only part of the battle

[jrose]

Definitely true- me giving you my number doesn't mean you're in, it just means I haven't totally rejected you as a possibility. But then again, that guy I see every morning at the bus stop and never talk to is a possibility too...