Girls, does a woman ever mean it that they aren't looking for a relationship? Should I wait for the person to want one?

[Anonymous]

A few days ago I confronted my crush and told her that I liked her. She told me that she doesn't feel that she's there. When I asked her what she doesn't like about her she said that she's not looking for a relationship. I know that usually when someone says that it just means they're not interested in you, but this girl that I like is someone who takes herself and her academics seriously, someone who's independent and enjoys time alone, and someone who has a small and close circle. Me on the other hand I am quite the opposite. I can see why she would say that and why she would see me as someone that wouldn't be serious about a relationship. I haven't spent the time to get to know her as I should because I have a lot of work going on and I'm the type of person who jumps in too fast.

My question is does this woman actually not want a relationship right now or does she just not want one with me. If she is just not looking for a relationship should I wait for her? If I do wait for her should I wait for her as a friend or just disappear? Should I grasp on to hope and start over from the basic and get to know her as a friend?

[AmandaYVR]

I'm sorry but I have no idea. Better leave this up to the girls to answer.

I'm just as likely to guess it's a euphemism/excuse to let the guy down easy, as I would be to guess it's really true, she doesn't want any relationship.

But I'd advise you not to wait. Never wait. Unless you're already spending time with them. Are you? Sure, you can be friends, get to know her as a friend, but only if you won't invest your heart in her, as it may never come to fruition.

I'd also say you're right in that she may be guessing that you two have little in common, and she doesn't see you as suiting her. That adds another layer of complication, because maybe if she got to know you, she would change her mind. So I don't know what to tell you. Girls be crazy/confusing, lol.

[anon1903]

I think I use that statement when I don't like someone. But yes, I love being single too. Many people enjoy it. You should confess your feelings to them just for the sake of acknowledgement, if u want.

[PinkRose24]

Sounds like she's not dating at the moment. It's your choice if you want to date other people but if she's ready to date and you're in a happy relationship by then? Would you stay in that relationship or break up just for her?

[Midgetmcwidget]

No, we never mean it. Sometimes I’m indecisive and other times I’m not so sure.

[Midgetmcwidget]

Take what I say as a pinch of salt, I’m useless in the world of dating.