If a girl initiates 80% of contact, does that mean the guy doesn't like her?

[Anonymous]

He always answers when I call/text and calls me back if he misses the call, but he rarely initiates the conversation. Is this a sign he's not interested?

[sedstar]

For the love of all that is holy...

here's how men "communicate", that is as long as we werent raised by busy body single moms with no real male role model, that is...

Bob decides he's bored. He would like to go target shooting at the range, but how fun is that alone? Bob decided to call Mike... Mike is home, and thinks yeah, that IS a good idea... they meey up and go to the range and target shoot.

Thats about it. *shrugs*

a week later, we're not really sure who called who to "initiate" going to the range. Phone rang, we answered it... period.

when you women try to imbue us with your sense of it being ijmportant who calls who, what pecentage of the time... keeping track or keeping score?

Thats a trip to where women live, which is "crazy land"

NOW... we have learned if we call you back to quickly when you first gave us your number, we're too desparate in your view, so you might then hate us... this makes no sense to a man, its crazy land rules... we have no choice though... we can EASILY get the idea thay if YOU are interested in doing something with uis, YOU will call...

you can explain the rules of "crazy land" to him, he might start following the bizarre rules... but don't expect him to make a chart and keep trak of it..

does &^%$ like this keep women up at night, worrying? Geez...

where did all these "initiation of contact" rules and percentage analysis come from? we figure oprah or coso made stuff like this up, we don't know.

[lost_soul]

because girls feel that if you don't reply or initiate contact then you aren't interested. I feel the same but that's because I feel that I'm bugging him when I contact him all the time

[Asker]

LOL- I hear what you're saying and I don't see it as a RULE that guys have to initiate things- or I would be the one calling him. But the point is, if he doesn't initiate, doesn't that mean I'm not the person who pops into Bob's head? See, if I'm interested,the guy I like pops into my head all the time.

[lost_soul]

the guy I like pops into my head all the time aswell haha

the weird thing was when he replied to a message I sent him, it would have been when I was in bed going to sleep, so I would have been thinking about him (as I think of him most when I'm going to sleep) and he would have been thinking about me in a way. quite a nice thought ha ha :)

[mysteryme]

That was a fantastic issue. I can honestly say that yes stuff like this does keep me up at night worrying xD. It shouldn't but it does. Anyways, thanks for the awesome answer. I will suck it up and text the guy I like now.

[evasquez8247]

not at all..he could just be shy, or he respects women.im one of those guys that like for the girl to initiate things, and I do it out of respect

[Mya59]

what does respect have to do with it? and I'm genuinely interested cause the guy I like never initiates a conversation either

[Anonymous]

he either doesn't like you or you are on the road to be a clinger. you have to take a step back and think and don't be like some of these girls who are so hungry for a man at any cost that they don't think about what's really going on.

most of the time he's just not that into you.

if a guy is shy, that goes away after he gets comfortable with you. if you have hung out with someone several times, if they want to hang out with you they will contact you. if it were a girlfriend, would you call your friend 80% of the time and think its no big deal that the only time you talk is when you reach out to her? or would you think, hmm this relationship is kind of one sided maybe I need to chill.

doing the most early on is how many women set themselves up to be in one sided relationships where they are not appreciated by the guy they're trying to snag because honestly, he's not that motivated to be with you. there are a lot of guys who won't say no if a girl is throwing herself at him and always constantly around but does that mean you're the one he Really wants to be with?

If a man Never initiates things with you and you're the only one doing the calling -- THAT IS A BIG @$$ HINT HELLLLOOOO. most guys who hardly ever return phone calls and only hang out when you initiate are NOT INTERESTED IN YOU and probably just keeping you around for sex/something to do/desperation

[Anonymous]

no, that doesn't necessarily mean he's not interested in you - the fact that he does answer to calls and im's is enough to show you that he's happy to talk to you etc.

it might be useful to look at how he acts around you otherwise - if he shows interest, then the fact that he doesn't initiate conversation really doesn't make a difference :)

[lost_soul]

okay, I'm in a similar situation. I 'initiate' most of the time but he does reply when I do most of the time :) and he glances when I walk past so I felt I was getting mixed signals :-S

but this has taken away the confusion ha ha :)

[DaphneJ]

I am actually in a similar situation I intiates most conversations but he does respond and keeps them going he did come to reavus twice this last week. We made olans to hang out today and yesterday he said he was still interested in going but then texts me today and says he isn't feeling well and just wants to rest so now I am wondering if he is really sick or of he was just trying to get out of hanging out with me. Your thoughts would be greafully appreciated

[defytraditiongirl]

not always true