How do I convince my girlfriend that even just sleeping in the same bed with other guys is bad?

Question

hi so my girlfriend met up with an old friend today who's on leave from the military for two weeks and so she offered to let him stay over for three whole nights and when I asked where he was going to sleep she said her room, I asked her not to, to put him somewhere else but she insisted then when I asked her what was he going to sleep on she said her bed with her, but that it was just sleep, I begged her not to do that, not to sleep in the same bed as him since she has a boyfriend, me, but she didn't see what the big deal was, it was only sleep, when  kept asking her she got mad because she thought I thought something was going to happen between them but I no that wont, I still don't want her sleeping in the same bed with him tho, help, how can I make her see even sleeping in the same bed as him is wrong?

Dblock679 · Accepted Answer

Alright kid, i know what you're going through because i've been through this. I was actually googling "is it gay for a man to sleep on another man's bedroom floor" when this came up, never did find my answer. How old are you? Because this happened to me with my first "girlfriend" when i was like 16 or 17. Whoever already commented saying she's playing you is right. That doesn't mean she doesn't like you, it might just mean that she currently likes the other guy more or that she just wants to "sleep" with the other guy really badly, and by sleep i mean sex. They probably had sex, just saying. And yes, girls are vile, cold and vicious, welcome to the world of women u'll learn a lot. Now the question is whether or not u will remain with her after she cheated on you. My advice is no, don't do that. But if you are 16 or 17 and anything like me when i was your age, i'm sure you will. Because the youth are hopeless romantics.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yikes. I can't believe she thinks that's cool to do. I do agree the guy is on leave and he deserves a nice bed to sleep in for once.

But your girlfriend should then say she's cool sleeping on the couch. If she doesn't understand how you are feeling...wow, I'm just shocked.

She would never let you sleep in the same bed with another girl. Ever. You can try and get her to see it from your perspective...but she doesn't sound like she'd be able to.

Not saying anything's going to happen...but why did she offer three nights when he's home for two weeks? Of course, he's statying somewhere else the rest of the time, but why won't his other accomodations cover the three nights?

Sorry to be suspicious, man...but...yikes.

labratcreations · Accepted Answer

I thinnk trusting the person you are dating is not only your responsabiity, but also theres. She is putting her self in a situation that makes you uncomfortable and that does lend its self to suspison. You also made it clear to her that you are not comfortable with her sharing a bed with another man even if they are just sleeping.

You can not make her do what you want, however you should not have to put up with her behavior thaat is unrespectful to your relationship.

I would honestly not waste time with her.

It seems odd that a guy who only gets a very short amount of time off every year would spend it with people besides his family or someone he is dating. honestly I would not be suprised if she was cheating on you if not physically at least emotionally

Tigerbaby994 · Accepted Answer

First off, is he gay? I get how that can be weird. Definitely not good. If I were guy...well, I'm not a guy. I'm a girl, and I completely agree with you. Maybe you should stay there too, if you really feel that bad. You could try trusting her...but I think it's HIM that you don't trust, am I right? Maybe you could try talking to him, and explaining politely why his staying with her upsets you. If she really likes you though, she should respect at least not sleeping in the same bed. I think if he's in the military he can stand sleeping on the floor. Either keep trying to convince her and let her know that you won't be happy and that you expect more from a girlfriend, or try to talk to the guy staying there.

danigurl56 · Accepted Answer

The fact that she is telling you about all of this is proof she doesn't plan on anything happening, but at the same time I def agree with you. She has a boyfriend she should not be sleeping with another guy in her bed. There is no reason he couldn't sleep on a floor or couch. I think she should have made him just to keep you happy. I'm sure she wouldn't have liked it if you slept in the same bed with a girl-friend...did you ever ask her that. I agree trust is a big part of a relationship, but I think that's drawing the line, sleeping with another guy,no matter who he is. I hope she figured things out, and slept elsewhere, and hopefully she got over being mad at you. Best Wishes!

Tigerbaby994 · Answer

He did what! Just keep trying, I wouldn't trust him either. I don't know why she would let him stay. I say you just stay too. If she thinks you're being overprotective then just remind her that as her boyfriend you have every right to protect her. Don't give in, stand your ground. Show her you wear the pants and if she's not going to respect you then she doesn't deserve you. Don't let her push you around. She's old enough to know better than to let another guy sleep in the same bed. If it's because she wants him to sleep in a bed before going back, then she can sleep on the couch now can't she? Put your foot down.

Anonymous · Answer

Okay, breaking up with someone is so damn tough. But she does not respect you...at all.

She won't respect your wishes. He has other people he can stay with that don't have a bf.

I know you want so badly to trust her, (and trust is a great thing...when it's earned) and sorry to be so blunt, but they are probably not sleeping innocently.

If she told you that he grabbed her boobs and she laughed it off, come on...if she'll TELL you about that, what is she NOT telling you about.

He is also treating you with no respect when he talks to you, even though I'm sure she told him your wish is that he not sleep in her bed.

Please respect yourself enough to get out. I really hope I'm wrong, but all signs point to her having her **** and eating it too.

minerva_milano · Answer

SORRY, if you trust her, you shouldn't worry... he won't rape her, so anything that happen will be seeing as "with consent" since she invited him to sleep with her even after the BOOBS comment... I would say that you're wasting your time, but its okay, the time is yours...

krazEkid · Answer

so your relationship is long distance? she has a friend home on R&R for the miltary? and he is sleeping in the same bed as your gf? hmmm sorry but that sounds like they are going to have sex, I'm really sorry man, but you either need to leave this girl, or go over there and stand up for yourself. your girlfriend really sounds like she wants this guy in bed with her.

Raider_Z · Answer

Offer to buy him a motel or hotel room. If he doesn't have a car, offer cab money. If you don't have the money sell your stuff, or beg your parents and friends for loans. Ask her if you could spend the night on the couch. After all he is on military leave and deserves a nice bed to sleep in. Buy him/make him dinner and be his friend.

Shadylemon · Answer

Hahaha, oh boy. Bud, I'm still a young guy, you know, not much in the way of experience, but to me? This girl is cheating, with your permission. Not good. My girl suggested that she'd move in with a guy friend of hers for college, not sleep with him, but live with him for three damned years. During that time, I'll be in finishing my last senior high year, and go to Ontario to study...she lives in Alberta. She said she was sure he was gay, but I told her how uncomfortable it made me, and you know what? She told him it wasn't going to happen, and my friend, this may be the result of teenage testosterone, but I do not beg. Ever. We talked, she agreed, everyone is happy. All this to say, leave her, find someone worth your while, who'll respect you just as much as you respect her :) thanks for reading this far xD

JustSayinn · Answer

I think that you need to just explain to her so she can understand

where you are coming from. She might not be so mad if you take

the time and just lay it all out on the table. Tell her you trust her and

care about her, it just makes you uncomfortable and you would like

her to respect your feelings since you are in a relationship. That is

one of those things a relationship is about, respecting and understanding

each others' thoughts and feelings.

shawnzyp · Answer

start sleeping in bed with other girls, she'll get the idea really quick trust me, I've been in your shoes before, I did what I told you to do and she acted just like the way you acted about your girlfriend sleeping with other guys. and then she finally stopped sleeping with other guys without me even having to ask her...

maxxi · Answer

omg! to frankly tell you if a girl allowed a man sharing a bed with her, it means she like that guy or she's attracted to that guy, simple as that. a girl never allows a guy to sleep with her in her bed if she's not interested..OPEN UR EYES..

if the guy is his brother that's fine, but just a friend oh my... Just think of it and you have a long distance relationship, c'mon think think think why she's allowing her friend to share a bed with her...

minerva_milano · Answer

you CAN'T, but you can hope that he ask her to let him sleep in the couch just for being considerate with her boyfriend (You) my personal though? She is a bi*&^,sorry...

Anonymous · Answer

if she is in a committed relationship with you, she shouldn't have other guys in her bed, period.  she should have enough respect for you to honor your wishes, and she should have enough respect for the other guy not to lead him on that way.

inevitably_yours · Answer

If she doesn't understand what's wrong with that, maybe you need to find someone who does.

Anonymous · Answer

Any updates on what happened? I'm guessing she cheated.

minerva_milano · Answer

tell HER

How do I convince my girlfriend that even just sleeping in the same bed with other guys is bad?

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