She keeps texting me “hey” but never commits to hanging out or even asking me to hang out, why?

[Anonymous]

[jennifer_bloom]

I like somebody at work but have not made moves for two Reasons

1. I might get rejected or he might lose interest in me after weeks or months or years

2. he or I or both could lose our jobs over our dating and I don’t know about that

3. my parents will never let me date a guy as poor as him so until I figure out how it will work logistically I do not see the point in initiating things

4. I’m scared to give birth and be a mom I will do it but only if I feel deeply about the guy

[Asker]

So you saying she is scared to escalate anything?

[jennifer_bloom]

She might not be sure either about you or about how it would go

[Asker]

Or maybe she doesn’t like me at all because she knows how I feel. The point is nobody knows and I certainly don’t know what to do

[jennifer_bloom]

Test her to see how she is

[Asker]

We just texted on Friday so it might not be a good idea. She knows I like her and I’m positive she doesn’t feel the same so me texting her would be pointless in my opinion

[jennifer_bloom]

Forget her then

[sensogal]

She's bored when she texts you and looking to pass time

[Asker]

Are you sure? She said she cared about me and sometimes she ask about my life

[sensogal]

I'm rarely dead set on my answers but pretty sure if you clearly texted her to hang out and she never commits to it. She could also be really shy and uncomfortable to meet in person. Either way, she's not keen in face to face interactions with you.. Yet. Do you know her personally or online?

[sensogal]

See.. She's asking about your life.. Like a bedtime story to pass time 😂 by the way I like to joke a lot

[Asker]

I know her personally. We used to work together and she is not really shy but maybe she is uncomfortable around me.

[sensogal]

OK. Everyone's different but I have done this many times and the reason is.. That I'm looking to pass time/looking for validation/someone to chat flirt with and have no real intention of hanging out with the person

[Asker]

Is this even a person worth talking to?

[sensogal]

The fact that you already know each other and she's not a shy person points toward what I initially said.. Why don't you ask her why she is hesitant on hanging out?

[sensogal]

That's up to you if you find it worth it..

[Asker]

I did and she gave me a answer that made no sense. She said “you don’t understand the situation”. I don’t know what that means, I should’ve ask but I don’t see the point.

[sensogal]

True.. In the end.. she's not hanging out regardless of the reason

[Asker]

Exactly. I know why she doesn’t want to hang out but I’m confused as to why she keep texting me if she feels that way.

[sensogal]

Ah OK. Well hope my perspective helped

[anton_dee]

Have u asked her out more than once? If she said no to all of the times, she not interested in going out. She only wanna be phone buddies

[Asker]

I ask her plenty of times. It’s either a excuse or she say next week but when the time comes we don’t link up

[anton_dee]

This again can mean 2 things. She actually not interested in you or she likes you but is pursuing someone else and in case that doesn't work out, she will come to you. Again am just guessing.

[Browneye57]

She's bored out of her mind. But afraid of contact. Must be a teenager.

[Asker]

I think she is 22. She probably knows I like her and is scared of that.

[Browneye57]

If she's scared you don't want her. Mental illness. Try to find a well adjusted normal type girl that is also gaga for YOU. It's WAY more fun.

[Asker]

I guess

[bangyourhead]

Say this to her "Hi, do you want to go for drinks this Saturday?" If the answer is anything besides "sure" or "I can't Saturday, how about (another day)" she's not that into you.

[Asker]

It is clear she is not into me, I like her but she doesn’t like me. I’m confused as to why she keep texting me this

[bangyourhead]

Ok, so when women don't want to date you but you want to date them, that's what's called the 'friend zone'. She keeps you in the friend zone so that you validate her. Every time she's feeling lonely or insecure she can text you "hey" and you'll reply. It's up to you whether you want to stay in that type of relationship.

[Asker]

Is this relationship worth keeping? Things could always change. How could I certain that she just wants me to validate her? Maybe she just wants to be friends

[bangyourhead]

Things won’t change. Do you want to just be friends with her?

[Asker]

Not really

[bangyourhead]

Then you be honest with her. Tell her that you like her in a romantic way and ask how she feels about you. If she says “I only want you as a friend” then you reply with “ok, thanks for being honest. AT this point I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to chat. I have a hard time being friends with girls I’m attracted to.” And leave it at that.

[Usernamesrdumb]

Attention and validation. Welcome to being the back up dude. Id squash that.

[Asker]

Does this still apply if she is a “friend”? Sometimes she ask how I’m doing and she said she thinks about me and cares about me

[Usernamesrdumb]

Girl's Behavior
9 h
She keeps texting me “hey” but never commits to hanging out or even asking me to hang out, why?

Yeah friends dont do that. She’s hanging a carrot out in front of you. Sometimes the guy at 7-11 asks how im doing. Think he actually cares?

[Asker]

Absolutely not. Maybe I should believe her actions instead of her words. You saying you care about me and this and that but your actions show I don’t want you around me, I don’t trust you.

[Usernamesrdumb]

You got 99 problems but that ain't one. There’s billions of women out there. Go get em tiger!

[Thatsamazing]

Likes the attention you give her.

[Asker]

All i do is answer text messages, is that giving her too much attention?

[Thatsamazing]

I would normally say no, but it must be just enough for her.