Girls, do you enjoy being close friends with nice guys who fancy you even if you don’t reciprocate?

[Anonymous]

Yes I do as they don’t cross boundaries and treat me well

No I find it uncomfortable if I know he fancies me

[mardyza]

I always make it clear that I need to know my friends or potential boyfriend to decide how far or near a guy can be in relationships with me. Abitually i prefer to talk and meet him sometimes (at least 3 or 4) and see if I can behave confidently or wait to see if it takes longer. I always consider a second chance to them

[PrettyPriya]

Typically, boundaries naturally occur. Even if I think they may have had an interest, most of my close male friends are always respectful.

[Asker]

What kind of boundaries?

[PrettyPriya]

Well, just typical friend boundaries. Like I don’t flirt with them or have any issues with jealousy to those I do date. I had a guy friend once get really mad and not talk to me because I started dating someone.

We are no longer friends because of it. My other male friends don’t mind. They know, when in a relationship, to be respectful of that.

[Asker]

Did any of them have deep feelings for you?

[PrettyPriya]

I think the one friend I mentioned that got jealous did. It is a shame, because he was a good friend.

He just couldn’t handle when I dated someone and didn’t have maximum time for him. Such is life though.

[Asker]

I have deep feelings for a friend who doesn’t want to date me. But I worry I’ll be like the guy you mentioned if she gets a boyfriend which I’m sure she will in future. I’d like to be happy for her but I think in reality, it will really hurt me.

[PrettyPriya]

You know for sure she doesn’t want to? Like in, you have discussed dating?

[Asker]

Well I’ve never properly discussed it in person but I did casually ask if she wants to go on a date with me by text. And she just replied that she thinks I’m a great person and she enjoys my company but she just wants to be friends so doesn’t want to date but she’s happy to do things with me as friends. And I haven’t brought it up since.

[PrettyPriya]

Hmm. Maybe worth one more shot? If not, you have to make a decision whether you can handle it or need to cut ties. I would hope you don’t lose a friend.

[Asker]

I want to try and be careful if and how I have 1 more shot though. Because I think losing the friendship would be really devastating for both of us. We’ve become really close especially during the pandemic. We sort of supported each other. Funnily enough when I asked her it was just after we had had a conversation about friends who’s friendships got ruined after they got together. The reason though I think she might have maybe a bit of feelings for me is because she’s different with me compared to her other guy friends. Like she lets me touch her more and she’s happy to share a room with me on holiday etc.

[PrettyPriya]

Yes, definitely proceed cautiously. Maybe invite for lunch or something real casual. Kind lay that foundation for her to rethink the whole thing. Don’t make it date-like. Just friends having coffee.

[Asker]

We already hang out like that all the time. We go for dinners, museums, plays, walks, coffees etc. and it’s just the 2 of us. Sometimes we split off from the main group even if we’re with other friends.

[Asker]

Is there anything you would suggest?

[PrettyPriya]

Well, not much other than what you are doing. You have done exactly what I would suggest.

I think it may come down to hitting the right moment to ask again, should you feel like it.

Maybe something like “Hey, I know we discussed this before, but is there any chance you’d consider going on a date with me? We just spend so much time together now and seem to click.”

[Asker]

So do you think timing matters?

[PrettyPriya]

I would certainly make it a moment you two are having fun and FEELS right. Only you will be able to tell when that I right.

[Asker]

My gut feeling is that she was attracted to me at first or at least exploring the potential but then she lost interest. But sometimes I think there’s something there but maybe it’s just me thinking wishfully.

[PrettyPriya]

Well when that moment you think there is something there, grab it!

[Asker]

To be honest, I feel like that moment is becoming less frequent as we become closer friends. Do you think there are limited windows of opportunities to make a move?

[PrettyPriya]

Hard for me to say as I don’t have an inside look. But, I’d say to try to manufacture a situation where there is some romance possible.

Like after dinner, go for a walk. You know what I’m getting at I think.

[Asker]

We do all those to be honest. But I think I hesitate a lot because I’m afraid. I met a different girl from a dating app some time ago and I had a similar issue. I never made a move even though she agreed to go on dates with me and it just fizzled after a bit.

[PrettyPriya]

Well you have to do what you believe is right. I really wish you the best with whatever you decide.

I hope it works out! ❤️

[Asker]

Thanks.

[PrettyPriya]

You’re most welcome. I hope some day you come back here to this thread with great news. 😊

[PrettyPriya]

Thank you for MHG 🙏❤️

[Simply_M3]

I've been friends with a handful guys that fancied me. For a while, everything seemed great and we maintained normal platonic friendships. Boundaries were set, however, somehow each and every one of those crossed the lines... so, I had to terminate those friendships because they made me uncomfortable.

[15_Debo]

It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for you are not...
I can't fake things...
That sweet good guy will get to know if I don't reciprocate it...
I really am no looking forward to look fake...

[Babygirl_S]

No because they always end up feeling rejected and make me feel like I am shallow. I can't believe it because there are girls that they are rejecting too.

[fit_and_feminine]

It is hard because most guys I start out being friends with eventually want to date me

[elizamichale1]

Yup ofcourse