A woman who can lead but also nurture. A woman who can dominate without hurting her man's feelings by being sensitive to them. Loving him and remaining loyal to him and still appreciating him as a man and not losing respect for him. I read so many posts about women on Gag that say they want to be dominated by men and yet I read articles and hear about women who also like being in control though I have no idea what such relationships would even look like. Kind of like a relationship where she's the Queen but I'm like her lover and elite bodyguard at the same time. Are women able to have relationships like this or what?
I dont want to hear about guys on here who want to trash me for liking a strong matriarch. If you take some time to delve into my MyTakes you'll get an understanding and if you aren't willing to do that then don't leave a rude or nasty comment. I happen to find strong females attractive. doesn't mean they have to have all these weird stereotypes like some of you try to portray like thick bulging muscles, 6+ feet tall, have blue hair with hair armpits, and be tatted head to toe. She can even look like an average girl and just know what she wants and how to do things. There are women out there right now who fought on the front lines who are super feminine still but can take the lead.
I've never really had a relationship where I got to enjoy monogamy because I was always cheated on at some point in the relationship. I can be alpha too, usually am but only around men. I can be extremely territorial and protective of my woman. One of my main priorities for women I am with is showing them how to use tactical pens, deep concealment knives, OC pepper sprays, LED lights, batons, and pistols because I always want them protected from potential rapists. One of my main worries in life is being with a woman I can't come to defend in a moment's notice. I double as her lover and bodyguard and she is my Queen.
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+1 y
A lot of people seem to think that Alpha women don't exist or that Matriarchy hasn't worked. I would invite you to do a little research on Sarmatian Society. These people were not pushovers by any stretch of the imagination, nor were their men.
to the people saying Alpha women don't exist how would you describe or label the likes of Boudica and Joan Of Arc? Your input is always appreciated, thank you.
It is absolutely 100% not something I would be looking for in a serious relationship, but I think I know what you mean. Both your own impulses in regards to this and what it would look like in a woman. There are good female leaders, that's where I would start thinking about this. I had a meek female boss who struggled a bit because of it. I had one who started out almost aggresive and only then learned it is far better to be careful and hold back. Another was trying to be both demanding and kind but that lead to handwaving problems away in attempts to avoid conflict. In real life, things tend to be far more messy and difficult than when you think of an idealized matriarch whom you would like to put on a pedestal. I noticed when I started writing fiction, that there is a very strong impulse in me to follow a wise and kind but decisive female leader, and that seeped into some of my characters without my intention. Men were there to protect her, to give advice in areas of their expertise, but for various reasons, they ended up bowing their heads and doing what they were told. And they were always treated super well by this fictional woman. Sounds good on the surface. The main question is though, what type of person would be that ideal leader? Statistics say women prefer to be led rather than lead. So in a minority, you are looking for one who is also very good at it, is not too dominant, and somehow also specifically fell for you. Unlikely is putting it mildly. But ignoring probability, your best chance is either someone who had to fight and compete for dominance, most likely against men, was exposed to a lot of conflict and developed coping mechanisms. What is your own interaction with that woman going to look like, if the two of you seriously disagree? Are you just going to swallow your pride, bow your head and say nothing? It may not always look pretty. Or it could be a meeker woman, who got emboldened by your adoration and tendency to give her more space, and somehow didn't get tempted to misuse her position or nag you to death. The issue there is, that such a woman is not used to the complex nuances of leadership and will be awkwardly figuring things out as she goes, again damaging that ideal image in your head. Either way, if by any chance you have your head in the clouds, you will be sorely disappointed. If you are more pragmatic than you post suggests you are, yes those women are out there. You will have to actively negotiate your place in that woman's life, never just follow along and nod. But I believe those matriarchs are out there. I have never met anyone like that who happens to be roughly my age and also agrees with me on high level life priorities, but hey, maybe you are just that lucky...
most of what you just said sounds like idealization and a bit out of touch with reality...
most women won't be attracted to this... this is my guess of course, I don't really know all women
there's something you said that can be a concern "I can be extremely territorial and protective of my woman" the key word being "extremely" anything that is extreme can become out of control and obsessive, this is where I guess that most people won't be on board with this, controlling and obsessive behaviors are less popular, moreso if they're impulsive as well
concepts like "alpha, queen, elite bodyguard, matriarch" all of these just sound like it's something you watch on youtube or you read on some obscure forums out there...
and when you talk about what you can bring into a relationship and what are your priorities you're making it all about weapons and gadgets that are meant to be for violent and extreme scenarios... if these are the ideas you have in mind and you think this is what relationships should be about, again... I doubt this is going to be not so popular with women... the more you idealize women the more you can become inadequate because well... real women are just different from our idealizations
no it's my priority that she's able to protect herself. It's not the center of the relationship one bit. As someone who was raped as a child and also my sister having been raped as a young teenager it's very important to me she knows how to protect herself. I think the relationship should be about patience, understanding, communication, nurturing, honesty, love, close bonding, and undying loyalty.
these are just concepts i've read about in Feminist, Redpill, Blackpill, and PUA articles. Could be they dont exist. But usually when one leads they are alphas are they not? And your woman should be your queen and you should be her king. But also you need to protect her if a gun, knife, or fists come into the equation. You have a God given duty to protect her from harm. When I say I get "extremely territorial" it's not in the context of her talking to or hanging out with other men. It's in relations to a random asshat grabbing her ass or breasts, and making rude/sexual remarks in my presence. I believe my protective instincts are warranted in such cases. But maybe I don't communicate it well through text with some people like yourself. It wouldn't be the first time you and I miscommunicated over my posts lmao.
While I do understand that rape is a serious matter and also a possibility and risk.
I think it would be best if, when you get to know someone... and if you're looking for a relationship, make things a lot less extreme... I think you should start with all of the things you said last... don't start with extreme situations like rape and how to defend yourself with all kinds of weaponry
all these are very sensitive subjects and at the end of the day... we cannot live obsessed about wanting to control everything and everyone against all of the dangers out there... I've been in a few relationships before and I've also lived in a region where crime exists at a very high rate and it's actually a very present danger... I've shown my girlfriends many things about defending themselves, protecting themselves, and it can go anywhere from simple keys, all the way to how to drive away in a car, from a risky situation, as well as doing "some" things if they really have to be done, so I get it...
just don't become a nutjob, or don't present, make yourself look like a nutjob
I will refer again to your words " I can be EXTREMELY territorial and protective" this is the concerning part... you might be too controlling, obsessive or impulsive and if that were to be the case, you can become the risk as well
It is very important to be in control yourself... so, think about it because "extreme" people can be very difficult people
@t-8900 while history is real for the most part... it can also count like living in a world of fantasy, especially when it's ancient history... so again, this is not going to help you much to connect in a more proper way with the real people of today
I dont think I could be controlling, trust me you could ask any girl that's been with me lol. I dont control women I like to be controlled. I just want them safe that's it.
three serious relationships... and how well did they work out, how long did they last... were those relationships what you expected as well as the three girls you've been with?
the relationship dynamics were different in each one. So I struggle to see the correlation. Most happened years ago. Maybe read the MyTakes to understand me better before the cut/dry assessment.
I didn't assess anything, I merely asked a couple of questions... which, you cannot get yourself to simply respond...
see, when it comes to idealize the fantasies you have about women, you're easy and eager to go on about it... but when it comes to the actual and real relationships with the real women you've been with, you're not so interested on that... this can be a sign of a problem, seems a bit like denial... which can lead to sabotage
my relationships seem to work out about the same as 99% of the ones that didn't work for most people. Most relationships fail in general. For instance how many did you have to be in before you found and married a woman? Are you still together now? I mentioned some of my love life in a MyTake. I was not at fault for those failures. I've never, ever, ever treated a woman badly or in any way was "controlling". Hardly in fact! I was always the patient and dedicated one. And before you say otherwise I welcome you to read it here: My life Part 2: a history of bad love Part 1 or 2 ↗
If you haven't kept a strong, loving, lasting relationship till death do you part then yes. Because if you broke up at some point that is a failure. One or both failed to stay dedicated and committed and left just in my views. We're not talking early stages we're talking once you've dug in deep and committed. But I'm not so arrogant to say I really know. I'm always learning as I go and I dont have the answers. I just know my grandparents were married 58 years and never left each other. that to me is what a real relationship, a successful one looks like. But if you prefer to just cohabitate and live like that then i would call that successful too.
this kind of mindset can also be an issue because it doesn't really match what reality is for most people... it will most likely become a hinder to your efforts
wanting to see life and your own relationship based on what other people from different times have had in the past, is not a good thing either...
so far, most of what you've been saying in here is not realistic, it's idealization, generalizations, that are way closer to fantasies than they are to reality... this is just not a good mindset to have
They do exist, but you will never get that type of woman. I’m not trying to be hurtful or insulting, but you just won’t! The thing is, most women will react very badly if they were on a date and a man just said “I want you to be dominant!” The way you tell if a woman is going to be dominant, is that she will likely push you for sex! Do you see the problem? When your dominant woman, makes herself vulnerable by actually being Dominant, and tells you she wants sex, you will shut her ass down, and then you will give her a mixed message “yes, I want a dominant woman, BUT you have to follow MY rule on waiting for marriage!” How is she supposed to be true to herself if she is a dominant alpha woman, BUT she has to be submissive to YOUR rules on sex? It just doesn’t make sense! you know I love you, sweetie and I always tell you things as straight and honest as I can. Thats why I am telling you this… the worst part about about it is… No church cares once you are married if you had sex or not before!
** PART 2 ** by the way You are the ONLY man I’ve ever known who was ACTUALLY awaiting for marriage… Why? If you didn’t wait it wouldn’t make any difference! Try this, go to a church near where you live that you have never been to before. Go during business hours, or wait until after the Sunday service and ask to speak to the pastor. Tell him that you are a newlywed, and you are looking for a new church home. I don’t know, tell him you just moved there. He’ll ask you what church you attended where you lived before, so you better have a church name to give him. Anyway my point is this.. Tell that pastor that you and your wife did NOT wait until marriage, and that you are worried about your salvation, and the future of your marriage, because you DID NOT WAIT until after marriage to have sex. Ask him if you would we still be able to join this church, and most importantly is your marriage damned before it starts because you did not wait to have sex. He will say NO! It does not matter that you didn’t wait! No, your salvation is a gift you cannot return, and Yes, you will have a long and fruitful marriage if you live a godly life. That’s it! It does NOT matter what you did to get to that point, it only matters that you are NOW married, and what you do going forward with your wife! In other words, nobody cares that you had pre-marital sex… not even God! So… If it does not matter ONE BIT after you are married whether you had sex before marriage, why does it matter now? Look if you are doing it for YOU then don’t let anyone change your mind! But, if you DO want to truly wait until marriage, the you need to CHANGE your goals regarding what type of woman you want!
I appreciate your words. Don't worry, wait for part 2 of my Bad love. All will become much clearer soon. Bless your heart for this though I always appreciate your input and the amount effort you put into it. I dont want to reveal any spoilers. I love everyone being able to read the MyTakes for themselves in their entirety. There will be 2 more mytakes in total to cover all the events of my life leading up to present. I think you'll enjoy the reads. Just forgive me in advance for any typos or spelling errors. I get so engrossed in the actual stories i always forget to look back and edit before i post.
no that's part 2, Part 1 of 2. Lol Sorry if it confused you. Don't worry it will be out later today, promise. Then I have a finale in part 3 after that. Then you'll understand me so much better and so will a lot of people I feel. I really loved your input on everything. Made me feel so happy I got it out there for people to read.
ALSO…. Whatever you right, it may give some clarity as to WHY you want to wait. And if you want to wait, wait! As I wrote, don’t ever let anyone talk you out of it! But there is NOTHING you can write that will make it so a sexually dominant woman, would be happy being submissive you or your religious beliefs! I think it’s great that you have convictions. But I’m just telling you that those convictions are completely antithetical to sexually dominant (alpha type) women. Also, sexual dominance is counter to the beliefs of women in the Christian faith! Christian women, (the type who also want to wait for marriage) are commanded to be SUBMISSIVE to their husbands! I just don’t know how you are going to pull this off! I’m definitely rooting for you, I’m on your side. I just think you can have one, or the other… but no, you cannot have both, sexual dominance, and willingness to be submissive to you sexually by waiting for marriage! But I HOPE YOU DO!
Sweetie, what are you talking about? I ALREADY read PART 1 and PART 2. You wanna test me? Obviously I have not read PART 3. It’s not out… the reason, I read already. I think you are confused sweetie.
Thank you sweetie, you are so sweet. It is so nice to have someone recognize that I do work hard to make my posts interesting and factual. I research the material, find good sources and I write it in a word processor, that counts the characters so I fit it exactly in the 2000 character limit w/o loosing important data. Again, thank you 🙏
What you describe is a regular woman, I wouldn't label that "alpha" but then I don't believe in those alpha/ beta titles, I think it's hogwash.. A real healthy relationship is about loving, caring, protecting one another, not having power and control over one another..
I do believe so, I've just spent the weekend with 2 of my friends who are married. She is most definitely in charge, but he is far from downtrodden. She is very strong but nurturing to their relationship and to his personal needs and encourages him to do the things that he finds fun and interesting for him. One of their kids popped in today while it was there, and you can see she is the leader of the family but is loving, kind and supportive, giving praise where it's due. She also works hard at a full-time job and is a remarkable woman. I'd be so lucky as to find someone half the woman she is.
sounds like an amazing relationship. A lot of people so far that chimed in said it's not really a thing. Thanks for adding this. Maybe a woman with a few more years of experience would be a better fit for me. As much as I would love kids having my emotional needs met for me to live a happy life is going to need to come first. If I can't be in a good place emotionally and mentally then I shouldn't be a father to begin with. Maybe a good woman will allow a surrogacy for me through AI or something just so I can have my bloodline continue. Being the last male and only heir to our name makes it even harder on me.
In terms of your desire to find a woman who respects a man she dominates: I don't think so. There is no such thing as a woman who respects a man who does not claim responsibility for important things or demonstrate good judgement in handling his responsibilities. And you don't want to get cheated on? Look at Will Smith. He felt just like you when he got married to Jada and look how that turned out. She converted him to doing everything her way. He was teary eyed on national tv/streaming as she basically outed him as a cuck to the whole world. I guess she really respects him, right?
Yeah that's one of the big differences between me and Willy. I have consistently walked out of every relationship where I've been cheated on, which as been all of them. It's probably true that women want to be dominated mostly based on my lived experience. I was confused by some of the things I've read on the net about women and all. Thanks for your insight into the matter, it was helpful as usual.
I'll add.. I have seen cases where a dominating woman doesn't cheat but, the guy isn't happy long term either because eventually he sees that she's has super hero level powers: to be self-centered. Off the charts compared to regular women.
that's so sad that so many women are slaves to that urge. I've been able to fight off sexual urges very well and believe me I have a huge sex drive. And I could be an arrogant pos but I dont want that and it's so fake. I hate people trying to be something they aren't.
To your update... I think women who are leaders do exist. They just tend not to be a good/ideal partner for a serious relationship with a man. Often these types of women have to settle for a bottom of the barrel guy who they pay to pretend to be into them. They're also probably relatively rare.
I also think there's different levels to it. There are people who pretend to be leaders but really they won't take responsibility for anything when times are tough. They look to blame somebody else... say the man in their life. Or whatever. Then you have people like Joan of Arc who are actually willing to take 100% responsibility for everything they do even if it means getting burned alive instead of renouncing their core beliefs to get a ticket out of prison.
you're correct and from other's responses you are validated in what you say I think. But yeah Boudica and Joan of Arc had balls of steel despite being women.
Another thought is.. maybe the problem is that if a woman is basically at the level of a top level dude then that'd cause relationship issues. But what if he was high above her level of whatever it is that makes someone a 'top level dude'? Then it might work. It's just there aren't a lot of mortal dudes like that and the ones that are probably picked a woman who is different anyhow. My Guess.
yep that seems to be the trend. And in any case it goes both ways for the most part. Being successful is great, being very successful can be great too. But being too successful really hampers your love life in most cases it seems.
I honestly don't know have you tried dating sites man, I think you can list in your bio you prefer dominate women. I am pretty sure there could be some out there, I mean if there isn't than dominatrix wouldn't be one of the most like porn category for men.
Yeah I know porn isn't really real, but I still think you should try the online dating thing. Just make sure you try being extra specific on the sort of girl you are looking for.
There is more to what you are asking, A) the knight in shining armour - means he dies for her/first, not her for him. Crazy as it is most women are dead serious about this, from the get go B) who would eat whom - if there was no food left/if it was concentration camp conditions (kind of like A) C) children - a while lot of 'which gender and who'd sexually be allowed how close to whom' (most women want sons/to be loved by multiple men - imagine the joy of a baby boy sucking on her nipple while you do the between-her-legs or up her bum D) life eternal - do you believe it exist, and would you go there together, and how many lifetimes together - eternity (which does resonate if that is what you want; then A and B at least are irrelevant or a distant second)
No. Women even close to this dont really exist. Women are generally switches so temporary domme or abusive. Men are logical and principled where women are emotional and will not stick to any framework and just want what they want when they want it.
So yeah you might find your female dominant but dont be surprised when she later has another male dominant thats not you.
@WowwGirl would you describe yourself as such? and in your mind what would you say makes a conservative woman? I've talked to four girls about this all with their own take on what that means. thanks for any insight you can give!
dont you think it's clearly documented in the Animal Kingdom and aren't we just an extension of that in many ways? Dont some people hold more power than others in their given relationships?
At your age as you should know, in a relationship the dynamics change constantly.
Working on stuff in the house, I take the lead and do stuff, working on cars etc, my ex would take the lead as she knew more. Cooking, depended on the dish, curries where me, Italian her, With both ex girlfriend and current girlfriend, cooking is who gets home first or if we fancy something. When I met my ex girlfriend, I earned more than her, she now earns far more than me. Relationships are dynamic, decorating a room I defer to girlfriend and daughter. It’s not this animal fucking bollox where it’s one person in charge, that’s just pathetic really. Additionally I would feel sorry for anyone in this type of relationship or expecting it.
maybe I should have added more into what I am really trying to get at. I mean the Romantic/Sexual/Emotional aspects of the relationship. The other stuff like everyday tasks are 50/50 par for the course. Those are just things that need to be done to maintain basic necessities of life. Nothing really significant about that stuff imho. Although like maintenance if one person is better with tools then perhaps that job should go to them. Or lets say you love cutting grass and the other person doesn't care. You should be the one who does it then. But like I like a sexually aggressive woman. And there are times I just DO NOT want to be the one to make plans. Sometimes I do but other times I really just do not. But I dont see why a strong matriarch can't be an effective spiritual guide for her husband. maybe I'm just overthinking things and need a drink.
Keep it simple. Yes strong confident girls exist, let’s face it getting to say 25 year old and living in a city as a girl is a make or break. Walking home in the dark, stuff like that. It’s a case of not looking for perfection, for someone that ticks every box but is a close match, the important thing being you click. Also the sexual side of things might be months in to a relationship, by which time you both may have deeply clicked with each other.
that's true. I might be weird but I'm not happy with sex unless I'm actually in love with her. Still I would love her to be dom most of the time in the bedroom. Not the crazy dom stuff like I seen with metal needles in the pee hole dom though. XD
Like her grabbing me aggressively and initiating and maybe even spontaneously, that'd be nice. And being on top.
you should look into the history of the Sarmatian people. You might find it interesting how their culture worked. If of course you're into history like that.
She acts as a spiritual guide in the relationship. She knows how to emotionally gain access to the man and I guess has the ability to make or break him but doesn't actually do the latter. Like when you have emotional control over someone you basically have them locked down without having to use physical violence and you have a certain level of control in the relationship dynamic. You make the guy solely dedicated to you 100% in all aspects of life and he never walks out on you or would even ponder that idea. But more than that you know how to passively get him to do things you want for you without having to attack his ego or break him spiritually or trying to withhold sex. You have a figurative hand around his heart. You're able to inspire him to do things he wouldn't mentally or emotionally be able to do on his own but because of you he's reached a new frontier of potential he never knew he had. Without you there he probably wouldn't have discovered it and without you he would likely not be able to maintain it.
What you seem to describing is actually the basics of a relationship. These qualities aren't just expected from the woman but the man as well, or it won't work
I don't know when i add those into the mix with the other aspects I mentioned like her being the sexually aggressive one and wanting to dominate I think that's a bit more of a swing in her favor of power in the relationship isn't it?
Well i dont mean like always having to be on top but I do like a girl who is sexually aggressive and spontaneous about it. Grabbing me aggressively out of nowhere, I really like that. I have probs finishing unless I'm on bottom. Tbh I have never been able to climax on top. I've had childhood trauma that is the reason for this though and I just can't help that. It's not just a preference I literally can't climax unless im on bottom.
it's good when you ladies chime in to let me know things like this. I've been a shut in for years and finally coming back out of my shell. With more exposure to women I feel my confidence will improve as well as my understanding of how you ladies think. Of course I know there's no one shoe size fits all with either gender.
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