Her friend said she's looking for a Mans man what should I do?

[WHATShouldIDoOOOO]

■》I was at a party last night and the girl I likes friend said to me, Her friend is looking for a mans man, she said the girl I like thinks I'm "To Nice"...

■》Like the girl I said to me, She's looking for an honest nice guy and that's what I am I can't change, I'm caring and honest and being a "mans man" I don't know... I feel kinda shitty...

■》Her friend said She's like if I want her I need to tell her what to do, I'm not like that... I'm not a control bossy guy... I don't know.

[Assi2k]

Listen to me...

The accusation of being "too nice" always points to our idealization of our person of interest. The problem is not your personality or not being dominant enough. You simply made the honest mistake of putting your person of interest on a pedestal.

No one -- except for narcissists -- feels comfortable on a pedestal because of too many
unrealistic expectations of perfection. Any idea of perfection is always a fantasy. It’s not real.

Take her off the pedestal. Get to know who she really is instead of the idea you have of her in your head. Before trying to date her, put real effort to find out what she is really like. Destroy that fantasy of her and get to know the real her. Good luck.

[WHATShouldIDoOOOO]

You think I should get her to text first, and make her do a bit if effort and stop the compliments?

[Assi2k]

It doesn't matter what you do. Nothing will change until you change your perspective. Stop trying to "get" her like some prize --> pedestal.

From now on catch all your thoughts about her. If you want her, destroy your fantasy about her. It's the only thing keeping you from having her.

Ask yourself these questions;

1. How will my life be better after I "get" her?
2. Does that sound like a fantasy?
3. Are these expectations reasonable to ask of someone?

Now think of someone idealizing you -- seeing you as the most and always nice, good, proper, good boy🥴 You wouldn't like that huh? You'd think they're delusional and they obviously don’t know you for who you really are. We all want to be SEEN and loved for our true, flawed, imperfect selves. Not to be idealized and then discarded cuz we didn’t meet these expectations.

[Assi2k]

by the way there are more ideal just "good and nice"

We all have an ideal that we paste onto the person of our interest. It's normal but we'll never "get" them if don’t stop this😂

I don't know what your fantasy is but some examples are, good girl/boy, bad boy/girl, most popular girl/boy, etc.

[RedStiletto88]

She already has an idea of the kind of man she is looking for and you basically said that’s not you. Please don’t try to fake something else because we can usually tell sooner or later.

[loveslongnails]

Being bossy and being "dominant" are two different things. You can take the lead, which is what a lot of women like, without being a bully or a boss. If you don't know how to do it, that's another story. What I don't like about this whole thing is her friend doing the work for her.

If you think the tip is legitimate, act on it. If you're arguing for your limitations and thinking you're a wimp, you're not going have a very successful dating life. You can be kind, honest and caring and not be a pushover. I can't tell you "how" to do that, you have to figure it out on your own.

[WHATShouldIDoOOOO]

Thanks for the advice but I'm not a pushover I'm actually quite firm but she didn't see that yet cause I have only met her 3 times sure

[loveslongnails]

Well then ask her out formally! I don't understand why her friend is running interference for her and telling you what she wants?

[WHATShouldIDoOOOO]

Yeah just know what you mean, I think she might be trying to help, since the girl I like didn't tell me this

[loveslongnails]

Whether or not she is, go get the girl yourself if you like her !

[AviatorTom]

Be a "Man's man". Show her you are mature and can handle things with strength.

If you don't want to do that (or can't) then find another girl.

[DryGermanGuy]

Why overthink it; punch her lights out, then drag her by her hair into your cave! Winner! 😬👍

[Cherry234]

You should be yourself. Go talk to the girl you like. Id you're not the type of man she's looking for then you can find someone else. There are plenty of fish out there.

[Shamalien]

It’s often the case that a man in his mid 20s is only just stepping into his dominant adult nature. Try it out. Being dominant is better for men. Stop trying to please everyone

[Avicenna]

You’re overthinking this. Ask her on a date and see how it goes.

[collie22]

i think it means a man who dose things the right way

[Gwenhwyfar]

Find a different girl