Is it okay for a guy to initiate a hug with a female friend? How do you girls feel about a guy friend initiating a hug?

[Anonymous]

I have some good friends that are women and some I know are fine with me hugging them around the holidays since I'll be seeing them at parties. Some I'll wait to see if they initiate a hug first but wonder if that's rude or how it should be? How do you girls feel?

Updates

+1 y

I do appreciate all your responses! I appreciate all the ladies that have no problem with a male friend giving them a hug. I also respect the ladies that think it isn't appropriate. I guess I'll just wait for them to initiate a hug. It will be tough, because I'm a hugger but I don't want anybody offended or feeling awkward. Happy holidays!

[Crepe_tart]

It's okay, it's cute. I've been hugged by my dude friend after I fell haha. And it felt really nice and comforting. I guess he felt awkward later but it didn't matter to me. Although, I guess it also depends cause some people don't like hugs from anyone and some do.

[Asker]

That's actually what I'm talking about. For example, a co-worker's mother passed away a while ago and I was out of town for the service, when I saw her at work I gave my condolences and a hug but felt awkward afterwards. Thinking maybe in wasn't appropriate at work blah blah. That's why I wait for them to initiate it but I love your attitude and spirit. Hugs are nice and you never know how much someone might appreciate it.

[Kelly6]

I’m fine with it
i like to be hugged

[Asker]

So do I! I think a hug is innocent.

[Medicalbug]

I’m used to exposure to cultures where people touch a lot, so I’m not as stringent. I do evaluate each case, however - what do they do with other good friends, how do they act in general etc. I mean there is a difference between getting a hug from someone who is starting to feel like a brother and someone I barely know who hangs on too long and grabs strangely.
I would say if it feels natural go ahead but you should probably ask “do you mind if I hug you?” Just in case. I also don’t just grab people unless I’ve asked or I see it happening as a social convention.

[Asker]

It does feel natural to me. I'm asking because my grandmother was from a culture that hugged everyone and at holiday parties or other occasions when people would introduce their new boyfriend or girlfriend to her she would always hug them. I would hear grumblings of things like, "why would she hug me like that? I don't even know her." or "that was strange." Some of my exes were among them. I never hug a girl I've just met, although some hugged me, which is fine, I see nothing wrong but I just don't wanna be thought of as crossing boundaries.

[Medicalbug]

Yeah I would not see your case as unnatural at all. I mean you’d probably have zero issues with hugging people like me, because I can just tell what comes naturally to people. Like I have one friend that I just know will stiffen up if I hug them, but another one I hug regularly. So I personally don’t have an issue with it (unless it comes from a creepy place). To be safe just ask people in case they end up being like those people who were baffled by your grandmother.

[Apulu_3]

There is no problem unless you give a small hug and for short period not like you got separated for like 10 years and have been missing her badly and hug her tightly like she is going to squash. A small hug is considered as a friendly hug. And yes it depends on the your friend and her thinking too. Not all girls think hugs are friendly even from a male. For me I don't mind it as I love hugs and cuddles too.

[TazzyRazzy13]

As a female who isn't huge into hugs unless I know someone well or haven't seen them in years. I would ask if it's a girl is comfortable with a hug, not just go for it.

[Asker]

Yeah, I get what you're saying but I would just not hug a friend unless they lean in for one vs asking if I can. That seems cheesy. I've had girls I hadn't seen in awhile say things like, "don't I get a hug" and I always thought it was sweet but wouldn't it be different coming from a guy?

[VanillaSalt]

Curious question. Do you all your boyfriend if he likes what you’re wearing outside for everyone else to see? Because that could make him feel uncomfortable if you dress like a slut… what about asking your parents if they approve of your goth stage in high school? Do you ever ask the entire group if you can talk about a certain subject? These questions are all rhetorical and meant to make you consider your not always trying to spare others feelings either.

Unless a man is groping you or won’t let go then you feeling uncomfortable is really on you. I mean if you tell him to stop he should stop but why is an innocent hug such a bad thing?

[TazzyRazzy13]

@VanillaSalt hugs are not always innocent. I am a female who is not a fan of hugs with few exceptions. I have been groped and almost assaulted by guy "friends" I let give me a hug. Most of my friends or people who may want to give me a hug knows to make sure it is ok to go in for a hug. Sometimes, I don't mind, other times I do.

[GreenEyesBrownHair]

Personally I don't mind AS LONG AS it's a close guy friend and it totally platonic. But some people don't like touching
in general so it's really depends on the girl...

[Asker]

I remember years ago I was at an outdoor fest and ran into a friend. She immediately ran over to me and gave me a big hug and I was patting her back while hugging her. She pushed me back and playfully slapped me and said, "don't you ever pat my back like I'm one of your guy buddies!" Moral of the story, don't ever pat a girls back while hugging them. lol

[GreenEyesBrownHair]

Yes.. we are not one of your bros lmao... but just a hug would be nice👍🏻👍🏻

[Asker]

Lol I haven't done it since!

[dustybiker]

I have lots of close male friends and there is no confusion on where relationships stand. Yes, we occasionally hug.

[TrueConfection]

Ditto

[shaysh87]

Haha no man initiates a lot of contact with his female friends. If you keep hugging and touching each other , you both will no longer be friends. An occasional distant hug is acceptable but I’ve never ever seen a man constantly touching his female friends.

[KrisPW]

I'm happy to give our guy friends hugs. I'm just a hug person in general though. I'll take or give, doesn't matter.

[Asker]

I'm a hugger also but I know some people aren't.

[KrisPW]

Yes, there are definitely the ones that maneuver for the side hug, or tense up and don't respond well. I certainly don't continue hugging them if they are uncomfortable with it. Or if they have a girlfriend / wife that is uncomfortable with it.

[MJtheCoach]

In nude is better

[JennyDunne2]

It depends on the friend and how close I am to him. Personally feel a little awkward with hugs over all lol, but most close friends its still nice to get a hug regardless of their gender

[ilikesubies]

I love getting hugs in general, especially if it's from a good friend. I know some girls don't like physical contact though, so I think it depends on the girl.

[HighValue]

I don't know, I normally let them initiate it, at least for the first time.

I wander if I hug one of them tight and squeeze her if she thinks I am interested in her more than friends or not though? Even though I am never the one to initiate the hugs.

[FlutteringFeelings]

Hugs are only for family or a man that I’m dating. I don’t give my male associates a hug.

[Serenity_87]

of coarse its ok! someone has to initiate it or it wouldn't ever happen! whether ur male or female just ask if you can give the person a hug first.. then u got nothin to worry about.

[Cherry234]

It's totally fine to hug a female friend (unless she generally doesn't like being touched). I'm a touchy feely person so I like hugs no matter which gender they come from. 😊

[RobT312]

between friends, hug initiations are no big deal. no intent except for a friendly gesture. i have done it with women and women have done it with me even with my girlfriend standing beside me.

[roro_hlbi]

No I hate that. Pls don't unless you know it's OK especially with Muslim women

[HappySquarePants]

Here are my answers. Take your fucking pick.

A. I feel you'll soon be facing accusatory rape allegations from an angry Karen that you'll later end up marrying.

B. I feel you'll be receiving the best head you'll ever get from a chubby Betty.

C. I like pie... and condoms.

[ChrisMaster69]

Hugs can be totally none sexual. Having a hug etc with someone is just normal.

even a kiss under mistletoe is Normal this time of the year.

[Faerum]

Doesn’t really matter as long as it’s brief and your hands dont touch bits. Hug your friends no matter their gender.

[TheLittleInnocent]

As long as we're mates I don't mind at all as I love hugs.

[Robertfootball]

I don’t have this problem because I don’t have or want women friends. Some have tried to befriend me but I pass. I’m good on doing favors and stuff for someone I’m not dating. That’s basically all women friends use their guy friends for anyways.