I still don't understand why some women are attracted to assholes, please girls help me understand, desperately try to help my friend out?

[DonkeyDan]

PLEASE UNDERSTAND I'M NOT HAVING A GO OR BEING judgmental, THIS IS GENUINE HELP I'M ASKING FOR.

I know this isn't all women, but so many seem to be attracted to guys that are just shit men and treat you like trash, yet some seem to cherish it.

What is the reason for this, it is because they have great dick, or you have self esteem issues, or something else.

I'm really trying to help a friend out who is in a terrible relationship with a horrible guy. She is constantly sad and unhappy, but just won't admit he's an asshole. She comes to me crying asking what to do about him, but never does anything.

And she says things like "oh but you don't know him like I do", and "he doesn't really nean it." I don't think he isn't violent, as far as I can tell it's more a psychological thing, putting her down and belittling her constantly, and making her feel worthless.

What the hell? Why is she doing this to herself, why is she is denial? I'm normally very good at the psychology side of things but this one has me stumped.

Please ladies give me some insight so I can help her? I've offered her a safe place to stay if she wants to leave him with no strings just to be here for her as a friend.

Updates

+1 y

Please accept my apologies for the invites ladies, I usually hate doing it but I could really do with some insight here. Thanks for your time.

[TrueConfection]

I never mind invites. I actually prefer them. I'm not really sure what to say about this one except that it sounds like she feels that if she somehow does things differently her guy will be more approving of her. Offering her an unconditional safe space is very generous of you.

[DonkeyDan]

Thank you, i just don't know what to do for her. I know it's not my responsibility or anything I can really do and she is the one that has to take action, I just hate seeing my friends like this. I don't understand why she would put up with it either.

[TrueConfection]

Thank you for the MHO ❤

[DonkeyDan]

You're welcome, abd thank you for response ♥️

[dustybiker]

Don’t look at me. I don’t get it.

[dustybiker]

It has to be something deeply rooted in their past. My only thoughts. Not a doctor though.

[DonkeyDan]

Thanks anyway.

[dustybiker]

No, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.
When riding a motorcycle “target fixation” can be a big problem. You have to almost physically tell yourself not to look at the pothole in the road or you will hit it. You look to the exit or safe way around the pothole to safely pass it.
Maybe this is something to the same effect? Humans get stuck in patterns. They are fixated on the wrong men (or woman), subconsciously or perhaps not.

[DonkeyDan]

Yes maybe, I think its a cycle she just can't break, but she's had decent enough guys in the past, but maybe there is something I don't know about.
I also wonder if she thinks she doesn't deserve better, and maybe that is something that is routed in her past like you said.

[dustybiker]

My money would be on that last point.

Hey, sorry for how I came across. Not feeling 100% today and should wait till later to reply to certain people.

[Cherry234]

It could be because of self-esteem issues or it could be something else. It could be that they aren't financially stable or they're financially dependent on those men. Or they're afraid of being alone so they stay with those crappy men. It could also be because they think they can't attract someone better. There are a variety of factors here. Another possibility is that they're so in love with those men that they ignore their flaws even though those men are toxic to them. Continue to be there for your friend. She's lucky to have someone that cares about her.

[Anonymous]

What I don’t understand is how many high level accounts on here are going to troll this website for the power of manipulation to try and get others to believe this girl is being beaten on by her men when in reality she isn’t at all. You asking this question for somebody else because I keep seeing the same situation being posted over and over again. Leave the girl alone because it’s clear she isn’t being abused. This is what I call a manipulative post. For the past week or so, high level accounts on here be trying to troll.

[DonkeyDan]

Honestly don't know what you've talking about I've not seen this question before because this is actually my friend I'm talking about in a real life situation. If anyone here is the troll it is you. Either offer me some advice or piss off.

[DonkeyDan]

Oh and you clearly didn't read the details of the question as you mentioned beating and i didn't.

[Opinion Owner]

It’s crazy how in a matter of minutes of your responses two people disagree with this at the same time. honestly it’s crazy how you guru status but a troll at the same time even about this particular friend. I hope gag takes your status from you

[DonkeyDan]

Actual there was already a dislike when I saw your reply, the other one is mine. I'm obe of the last people to troll this site!

[Opinion Owner]

No it wasn’t there until you responded because I was watching for your response

[DonkeyDan]

Bullshit

[DonkeyDan]

Just get off ny question troll.

[OddBeMe]

1) how do you these guys re shit?
2) what are you doing to make yourself attractive?

[Anonymous]

Because girls loves assholes. If he’s an asshole to her it’s means he’s doing his job