Girls, What’s the deal with this girl?

[Omar156]

So cut a long story short I met a girl we were seeing each other we got intimate had sex etc everything was fine she then told me she didn’t feel the same way she didn’t want a relationship but before that she was talking about the future with me a lot, she had feelings for me etc. She didn’t feel the same I said ok n left her alone but she was following my every move on social media
We stopped talking for like a month and a half & i broke the no contact she messaged me happy birthday on snap n stupid me I decided to talk to her again cos I had feelings so I hit her up on whatsapp only to see that she had my number saved the whole time, she didn’t delete it
We started talking again & things were fine, then I got busy didn’t talk to her for like 3 days she got cold again
But I don’t know what the deal with her we don’t speak as friends & she’s quite guarded yet she can’t leave me alone or let go
When she sees other girls around me she gets upset n jealous but she’s talking to other men
I’ve been as genuine as I could with her but she will just never tell me what she feels or wants, every time I pull away she follows, she’s very responsive to my texts but doesn’t answer my calls

I haven’t told her I have feelings cos I’m sure that will scare her away and I don’t wanna be vulnerable tbh
I’ve known her for 10 months altogether & I started seeing her for about 2 months
its actually getting quite toxic,

Updates

+1 y

I even left my jacket at hers but she won’t let me go and collect it

[Greedier]

If u wanna her to open up more, you can try to say to her that she can feel at ease to say how she truly feels and trying to comfort her.

However, the situation looks quite toxic for u. I'd say u do have probabilities to make it work out but will take time and a LOT of patience.

So you'd need to analyse within yourself how u truly feels about the whole situation overall.

•Do u want to make it work out?

•Are you willing to wait till she feels comfortable enough?

•Are u aware that for a reserved person it's not that easy to open up and will have ups and downs quite often?

•Do you think she's being nice to you?

•Do you think she's really interested in something serious or just playing?

•Do u feel well within yourself about this whole situation? Is it intoxicating you?

These are just some of the question you can ask yourself in order to put your thoughts more in order and have clarity about what to do next.

Hope I helped in some way!

[Omar156]

She says she doesn’t feel the same way yet behaves like she does
I’m not sure if it’s feelings or if she’s attached to me in some sort of way
I want to be open with her maybe thst might help

[Greedier]

Yeah, out of every possible choice the best is being open to her and asking herself.

I could be listing several possible causes for your situation and still be wrong.
Try to communicate with her and see what's going on.

Wish u both the best!

[Greedier]

*And ask her

[RicoDicaprio]

It doesn’t sound healthy at all, I think her behaviour could be either conscious or subconscious; maybe she is aware of her indecision or maybe it’s her insecurity. It sounds like she has low self esteem and has the need to keep tabs on you, but when she gets too uncomfortable she pulls herself away, no matter what she had previously said about her feelings for you.

I recently got out of a relationship where I just wished that we communicated more, and I think that is the case for your situation.

Sit down and talk to her, lay out everything you’ve been seeing of her behaviour and make it clear to her- she may not realise what she’s doing, and even if she does, she knows that you are aware of it now too.

Ultimately, I don’t think you should be in a relationship with this person, you don’t deserve to be in limbo and constantly on the receiving end of her actions. She might not be a bad person, but you don’t deserve to deal with this at the moment. I’m sorry about that. Maybe she will change, but make it clear that she would need to grow as a person for anything to happen between you. Wishing the best!

[Omar156]

I tried to communicate with her and I just got ignored yet she will watch my stories and keep tabs,
Whenever I speak to her about her behaviour she gets defensive, the worst thing is I care about this girl & it’s sad
This happened again first time she said I should never talk to her again & i did as she wished but she was watching my move on social media
I can’t resolve things with her, this girl is damaged but what can you do when you’ve invested all that time this is why it’s hard for her/me to let go
She doesn’t want me to go but when I’m there she behaves like this

[Omar156]

She knows i am capable of walking away I’ve done it before but the thing is I don’t wanna ghost her again I want us to COMMUNICATE

[RicoDicaprio]

Yeah, I understand. It’s a really tricky situation, especially because she doesn’t want to communicate and that’s all you want. But ultimately, do you see this working out?
If you really want to try make it work, then you could approach communicating differently- I know you don’t want to tell her your feelings, so maybe you could just say that you really want things to work out between you? Then she might understand a little better where you stand in the situation and if she wants it to work out, then she may try and this act differently.

If she needs it, give her some space and maybe she’ll come to you in due time when she’s ready for it. Because it sounds like she isn’t ready for some aspects of a relationship; communication is key after all!

I know it’s tricky, so I’m sorry if I couldn’t be of more help.

[Omar156]

She has now proceeded to blocking and unblocking me
Do you think she’s scared?

[RicoDicaprio]

Honestly it’s hard to tell, she might not know what exactly she wants so that’s why she is pulling back and forward. Would she dodge the question if you asked her why she blocked you?

[Omar156]

Probably
But like she told me she didn’t feel the same way I left her alone she was still on my case even now she still is, it’s like why would she stick around if she doesn’t feel the same way somethings not adding up & when I try to communicate she doesn’t tell me what she wants I have to initiate everything too :/
She does have trust issues
It’s clear she wants something from me
Do you think she could be attached?

[RicoDicaprio]

I guess she could be attached for some reason, it would explain why she’s keeping updated on you without fully distancing herself from you. Do you initiate talking to her everyday? You said you ghosted her, how long for? Is there the chance that she will eventually message you if you were to stop initiating conversations? It sounds as though she isn’t ready or open for communication, but that’s a problem on her behalf- I know you don’t want to necessarily let this go but you’ve tried to make it work and she doesn’t seem to be ready for it.

[Omar156]

No I don’t talk to her everyday, I ghosted her for about a month or 2 but even within that time she was always watching my stories constantly without fail
If I don’t initiate anything we just don’t speak
She acts like she doesn’t care but it’s clear she does
The thing is I don’t have a problem letting go I’ve done it before but like I said everytime I let go she follows me
I did mention and ask if she thought it was a bad idea for us to go there again she said she doesn’t know
Maybe she wants to take things slow
Like I said I haven’t told her I have feelings for her so maybe she thinks or feels I’m messing her about

[Omar156]

Also she doesn’t communicate directly only indirectly through Social media
She started off so nice & warm when we started speaking then she became like this

[Omar156]

10 months is quite a long time tho if I’m honest, it’s not easy to let go

[RicoDicaprio]

Yeah, 10 months is a while so I understand why you wouldn’t want to give up on this. So maybe it’s best to take things slow and keep doing as you are. This would give her time to get comfortable and who knows, she might start to open up and be the nice, warm person you knew her to be. I don’t think she would think you’re messing around with her as you have stuck around for a long time and others would probably give up.

[Omar156]

Should I just let her come to me? It’s been a week since we haven’t spoken
I have been initiating every conversation I wanna take a step back now

[Omar156]

Also do you think you could know the possible reason behind the blocking and unblocking?