Do you think it's possible that a girl at work might ask me out?

[Beta_incel]

What are the odds a girl at work will ask me out? I'm quiet but they see me walking, i have to walk passed a lot of people to get to my desk so many women there know i exist.

[MrNameless]

Very unlikely, unless they are really attracted to you and always initiate conversations and flirt with you. Don't ever expect women to make the first move.. They'll give signs for you to ask them out. Take the initiative.

But with work you have to be careful, especially if its in your same department.. Might not be worth your professional life if something goes south.

[Beta_incel]

Problem is i don't have any other place where to meet women, i don't go out.

[Dragonstarterplus]

...

Sounds like 0%. Doesn't seem like you even know how to form sentences in their direction, they just know you exist?

Cause I think "existing" is like the barest of bare minimums that women look for in a mate

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Very unlikely… Why do you think a girl at would would ask you out? Have you even thought to approach them or at least talk to them and get to know them?


If not, lol, sorry but there’s no chance at all they’ll ask you out.

[Beta_incel]

😭😭😭 why does life have to be so cruel to us shy men? It's like it's a sin for a guy to be shy but women can be shy and that's acceptable.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Not really. It’s life. I’m shy and anxious but I went out of my comfort zone to go on dates and talk to people.

[Beta_incel]

I see, well i admire you because you have courage.

[UniquelyBasic]

People go to work to work, not to find a relationship but that could happen.

[Beta_incel]

True, sometimes i feel like have everything against me, like everything is fixed so i fight an uphill battle, not only is my job the only place i can meet women but I'm also a guy + shy, that's a horrible combination.

[UniquelyBasic]

Im extremely shy but I know how to hide it and just go with the flow. I haven't had much problems talking or flirting with women growing up.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Probably zero. Girls at work at least from my experience will spend time talking to you, but expect you to ask them out if indeed that is what they want.

[Beta_incel]

😭😭😭

[TommyMountainFigure]

Would you rather I said "yes of course they will ask you out?"

What's the problem in asking them out?

[Beta_incel]

I'm too shy to ask them out, does that make me a coward?

[TommyMountainFigure]

i think that is the perfect description of a coward.

[Beta_incel]

Yeah and no woman wants a coward.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I suppose you have to ask yourself one very important question then. Are you going to go through life bitter, hurt and upset with the world because you are too scared to take a risk, or are you going to pluck up the courage and at least try?

[Beta_incel]

Good question.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Yo don't need to answer me personally. I'm just some random guy o the et.. but it really is something you need to ponder seriously for yourself.

[Beta_incel]

Yeah, it's probably going to be what has always been.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Sorry, my keyboard went all screwy the u and the n went haywire.. should be ok now

[TommyMountainFigure]

So when you look back on your life when in your 80's and you think really hard about one thing you wish you could do differently.. etc etc.. The thing is.. this is your chance a REAL chance, not to look back with regrets..

[Beta_incel]

True but let's be realistic if haven't changed my life at this age there's probably no hope.

[TommyMountainFigure]

What exactly is your fear of? Is it rejection, women in general, making a fool of yourself?

[Beta_incel]

Another interesting question because the thing is that i talk to women like a normal guy would, for example at work i talk to my female colleagues about work related stuff and I'm not shy or nervous.

The problem is being assertive about my romantic interest towards her so I'm probably love-shy, I'm actually pretty sure that's what it is.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I'm really sorry to do this to you then, but I have yet another thought provoking question. Just supposing you get your wish and the girl you really like does ask you out. Are you so frightened of love, that you would even agree to going out with her?

[Beta_incel]

I would agree to go out with her if she asked me.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Then it seems to me like you fear rejection more than anything else

[Beta_incel]

I wish i was ok with women rejecting me, maybe i should take pleasure in rejection from women so i have nothing to fear 🤔 that sounds sick but maybe that's the only solution.

[TommyMountainFigure]

There is a way around it to get what you want without having to fear anything, depending on only one thing. If she feels the same about you.
You've already said you have no problems talking to her regarding work etc. So how about trying this.
Next time you and her are talking, be open and honest with her. Tell her you have a genuine fear of rejection and ask her if she will help you get over it..

[Beta_incel]

Ok but first i have to be sure that she's also interested but yeah that's a good strategy because if i know she is attracted to me then by telling her I'm afraid of rejection then i put the ball in her court and not only that but I'm making her feel safe because now she knows the reason why i don't ask her out is because of my fear and not because i think she's ugly or fat or anything like that.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Exactly, but even if she doesn't want to go out with you, she can still help you. By telling her you have that fear she will tell any of her friends who might be interested in you about it too. I see it as a win win.

[Beta_incel]

Thank you for that advice man, it's really good.

[TommyMountainFigure]

You're welcome buddy. I hope it helps..

[Rendomlikua]

Very unlikely...

[Beta_incel]

Maybe i should just accept my reality and be ok with being a loser.

[In_Trance]

Don't do it

[Beta_incel]

I don't do anything, i just wait for things to happen.