I'm interested in a girl at work but she's not given me any signs she feels the same way. Should I ask her out?

[Frankenollie]

Just to clarify, even though I work with this girl, the place is huge and we only have a few weeks before she's moved to a completely different part of the building. (Plus with working from home half the time, I'm almost certain never to bump into her, so awkwardness won't be a problem).

Anyway, this girl is younger than me (I'm 34, she's 22). We started at the same time about 6 weeks ago. We've chatted here and there but nothing much. The longest we've spent in conversation was last week when she asked me for help. Beyond liking the occasional meme I post on Teams and laughing at a couple of my joked, there's really been no suggestion that she's attracted to me.

On a whim, for valentines day, I left a rose on her desk. She was flattered and she and her two friends are trying to figure out who put it there but the thought appears not to have even occurred to them it could have been me which I took as a bad sign.

S you can probably tell I've been out of the dating game for a long time now and I'm honestly at a loss about what to do. Should I keep up the secret admirer routine for a bit? Do girls always drop hints if they're interested? A few of us are going out for a drink after work one night - should I wait until then, see if we get along and then ask her out? Or should I just throw caution to the wind and go for it right away?

Any help or advice would be much appreciated. Thanks everyone.

Updates

+1 y

A woman I work with said they'd guessed it was me before I even got there. She also said she keeps looking over in my direction. Of course that doesn't necessarily mean anything - she may just be trying to figure out who sent it.

[DenizLikesTennis]

I have dealt with such a similar experience and it didn't go well 🤐 perhaps it might work fine for you. Just give it a try. But I wouldn't confront her out of a sudden like a Jump-Scare and say: "Hey, wanna date?"

XD

ask her when the last time it was she had a boyfriend/relationship... that shouldn't be too forward after talking for a while and having fun. then watch what she says and how she feels about it. Then ask her if she enjoys or feels well leading a conversation with you. NOW YOU CAN ASK HER OUT :P

Yes, unfortunately girls are complicated. Therefore you need to find ways to tell her your intentions instead being open and direct.

We guys are complicated too but in a different way. There is no perfect gender.

Wish you the best and let us know how it went✌

[chulo1992]

NO!!! Work romances usually end up being disastrous

[Siren777]

Get to know her and ask her out then you can ask questions instead of asking immediately which might scare her.

[Frankenollie]

Yeah I'm not great at talking to girls I like. My mind goes blank and I can't think of anything to say. The subject has been completely dropped today and she's barely said a word to me, even less than normal. The pessimist in me can only assume she's guesed it's me and is trying to avoid me like the plague.

[Siren777]

One thing you can do is always assume the best and think that way too and things will turn out better than expected. She could be quiet waiting for you to send her a text or to talk to her. If she constantly avoids you and doesn't respond then you can take the hint but she could be busy. So try and good luck.

[Anonymous]

take it slow; i think putting rose on her desk seems a bit too much.

[Frankenollie]

The problem with taking it slow is I've wasted a lot of time in the past hoping it was leading somewhere only to find out they never viewed me as anything more than a friend. I guess I'd like to know if there's *any* attraction there, so I at least know there's a baseline, a potential for something I can build on. If there isn't, I needn't waste my time.

[driven159]

whats the worst she can say is no