Girls, does she like me?

[Anonymous]

There's a girl I work with, I don't know her well, haven't talked to her much, known her for a few months. Last week was my birthday, she walked up to me and said happy belated birthday, what did you do and etc. I kind of admit she seems nice and she's pretty. But when I tried to talk to her today she wasn't as receptive with the small talk. I usually have a rule which is don't pursue girls in the work place. I know this probably doesn't give much but I figured if someone chats with you and is nice overall but I don't want to mistake it for just friendliness.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think that specific situation was enough to indicate she likes you. It’s just that the gesture was very general, like personally I’m a very nice person, and would genuinely wish any coworker a happy belated birthday and ask how it went if they’d been positively receptive. Since you two don’t chat, and she was pretty basic and quiet today, It just doesn’t strike me as someone having a crush. Maybe it’s for the better though bc as you probably already know, work romances are very rarely a wise idea.

[Asker]

my guy friend actually married someone he worked with lol

[Opinion Owner]

Well, my girlfriend lost her job. Another one got ran out of the place because of gossiping coworkers. Another moved departments because another girl was jealous and the guy didn’t have her back about it. Of course these are all things I witnessed in the spans of my 20s, not back to back. It’s great that your friend had a good experience of course. That wasn’t the focal point of my statement though, it’s just that the interaction you mentioned doesn’t indicate a crush, at least to me. Of course it doesn’t mean she couldn’t have feelings, I just think that was enough to determine.

[Asker]

I don't want to mistake a girls kindness for "liking" someone. That's a big mistake guys make and some guys will even get mad if the girl wasn't into him. I don't want to overthink about it, but it will kind of bother me at times whether she does or doesn't. I guess in the meantime, I'll just make small talk like how's it going and etc.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah I agree. If it were something a bit more specific like you two were playful back and forth or she stares a lot, tries to be around you a lot or just something along those lines that drop bigger hints. It’s just this scenario didn’t give me that vibe, that’s all. Making small talk is generally a good way to test the waters, so that approach isn’t a bad idea. Just be careful with the coworker dynamic. Your friend really got lucky but it’s a huge risk, especially if you or her really enjoy that job..

[Asker]

Oh I agree, personally I don’t like to deal with co workers. The problem is I work in a retail store so I’m in a different department and I’m always busy. I don’t really have time for chit chat 💬 The job I do is not my career, if something better came along I would leave the job. I might plan to leave that place anyways by next year. I’m just keeping my options.

You know what sucks as a guy is not knowing whether a girl is taken or not. If I know she’s taken it would actually be a relief because I close the chapter and drop whatever feelings I have for her. I don’t like pursuing girls who are taken, having celebrity crushes is fine but I don’t like to crush on girls who are taken that’s just me.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh okay, well that’s a better setup then if you don’t intend on staying at that job and it’s not like a serious career move, it’d be riskier if it were. Maybe once you two get a bit more comfortable with eachother you can ask about her social media and that should show if she has a boyfriend. But heads up with that, if there’s no boyfriend on her page it may not necessarily mean she isn’t taken or seeing someone. I only say that because personally I’ve been in a relationship for 7 months and don’t post anything of us lol not for anything negative, it’s just I don’t care to have my personal life all out there unless it’s very important. Adding her online is definitely a gateway to ask about her dating life though, should you not see any telling photos.

[Asker]

It’s weird, it seems like today there are two categories with women — either she’s taken (married or in a relationship or exclusively dating one guy) or (she’s single but has zero intention of dating). I forgot the last time I personally chatted with a girl who was single, wanted to date and find a guy.

[Opinion Owner]

Well hey, keep in mind that all of this is speculation, there’s no real way to know what’s going on with her until you’re able to chat with her yourself. Hopefully it’ll be a positive outcome☺️🙏

[Asker]

I think a guy in my store has the hots for her though. If they are “dealing” with each other I don’t want to intrude. Usually my outcome with girls is negative, never positive. I’m not mad, it’s just the way it is I guess.

[Opinion Owner]

Even if he has the hots for her, it doesn’t mean the feeling is mutual. The only way I’d say maybe she does is if you see her flirting back and stuff. Regardless, I feel like you’re thinking way too far in advance, like point D when you haven’t even gotten to point A. There’s no intrusion when you’re just trying to make a friend, and that’s how you have to look at it right now. Even with you not having much luck with women, you don’t have to consider any of that at this point in time. It’s just opening the lines of communication. Who knows, you may find that you aren’t even a fan of her in a way to pursue romance.

[Ladamallama]

If she remembers somehow that it was your birthday it might be a sign of that she liked you. Although hard to say how much. Perhaps she wasn't in the mood to talk another time. There is no telling until attempting to talk to her more. Try to be friendly and pay a complement or 2 without much flirting. If she is open to anything at all it's someone being friendly what starts it all.

[Asker]

actually we have a team app on microsoft so the managers wished me a happy birthday and a like 10 others, and then she said it

[Marshymallow]

Go for it bro! If she remembers your birthday it’s a sign. But on the other hand they do post birthdays on workplaces so it might not be that much of a big deal for her. She might have just been acting friendly

[legna_526]

no she probably doesn’t like you if she wasn’t interested in talking to you though she may have been shy try talking to her again and pay attention to her body language

[Asker]

Honestly, I’m not going to take it seriously. Im always busy at work and I plan to leave that place one day and move on. If she doesn’t like me it’s not devastating. I realized a guy could be handsome, educated academically, cooks good food, a sweet guy overall and etc. and the girl could still say no thanks. But I finally realized, who cares. Do I think it’s kind of stubborn to do that to a guy and not give him a chance? Sure. But I can’t control other peoples feelings and I don’t want to force someone to like me or owe something to me.

I’m focusing on my life but I’m always taking chances and trying to be positive and helpful. Do I think I will find a beautiful girl who will finally like me and she has great traits? Sure, maybe. But in todays world I highly doubt it. I don’t drink, I don’t party, I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs and I’m not fond of todays music. Automatically, girls may assume I’m an uptight prick.

In reality, I just don’t want to do those things. I don’t know what the future holds. I’m used to getting rejected even if I try to conduct myself in a mature, civil, friendly, (try to be) interesting manner. But if the girl isn’t receptive there’s nothing much I can do. It could be one of those things where a young woman doesn’t appreciate me now but looks back and say you know that guy I talked to was quite the gentleman I should have given him a chance…I don’t know, that’s just my thoughts. Again, I can’t control how girls think.