Girls, Why is this girl and I naturally hit it off but she has a boyfriend?

[ando90]

She gets overly happy to see me, but at the same time she doesn't know me that well but she and I really enjoy chatting to each other. She and I both agreed we didn't get a chance to chat much yesterday. But today she and I spoke for 30min straight. She complimented that my hair looks nice. I could tell she and I both enjoyed our conversation together. I really like her but found out she has a boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

I've had intimate conversations for hours with guys who were just friends while in a relationship (although I must admit that this was done in the past and is not something I would do now since I feel guilty about it). But long story short, until or unless this girl comes to you and says that she broke up with her boyfriend, her behavior with you so far doesn't mean anything more than "I like talking to you" (which sucks if you like her back). If she gets more flirty with you as time goes on but still has her boyfriend, then this could mean that there are some mild-moderate issues going on in her current relationship, such as a lack of attention or empathy from her boyfriend, which she feels propelled to seek elsewhere, such as with you.

[ando90]

But she is literally a coffee shop lady who just out of the nowhere taking the steps to engage in conversation with me. Like she just started acting overly excited to see me and waving/smiling at me. Then we started chatting like we already knew each other. Now she and I are having long conversations lasting like 30min whilst she is working. She even accepted my friend request and said she was glad I added her. I've noticed too she and I smiling at each other and she is taking note of things about me such as me getting a haircut and saying it looks nice. Then she saw me for the 2nd time in one day at the supermarket and made a comment about I'm buying

[Opinion Owner]

Why didn’t you put all that in the initial description lol. Ask her out

[ando90]

But she has a boyfriend 😔

[Opinion Owner]

🤦🏻‍♀️ that also should have been in the initial description. i’m now back to my initial impression.

[ando90]

That was in my question

[Opinion Owner]

I swear it wasn’t when I read it the first time

[Opinion Owner]

Wait yes it was. Ugh just read my initial opinion, my first response, and that’s where my opinion stands… Apologies for the confusion.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Maybe she just likes you as a person and wants to be friends?

Just because someone enjoys your company, doesn't mean you have to date. You could just be friends and enjoy that friendship.

So what if she has a boyfriend? If she's not allowed to have male friends, that's a red flag for abusive and insecurity in her boyfriend. Healthy relationships allow for friendships outside of the partners.

[ando90]

But she and I have gotten closer recently. Like we're talking in person for like 30min whilst she is working. Then she is making notes if things like saying my hair cut looks nice, taking note of things I'm doing such as who I'm paying the coffee for and what I've bought from the supermarket. I'm literally just a customer but for some reason she and I have just clicked so naturally and she accepted my Facebook friend request. I'm just getting mixed messages 😔

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Oh so you're visiting her at work?

Yeah, she's not interested. She's just relieved to have someone who treats her like a person at work.

And that's a good thing. You're probably her nicest customer.

But you're a customer. And she has a boyfriend. Unless you want to lose her friendship entirely, respect her relationship.

You're some guy from the supermarket. You're not going to "replace" her boyfriend.

But if you're this bent out of shape, I'd suggest asking her outright. Just clear the air. But be certain you're ready for the answer.

[ando90]

She serves me for coffee, but for some reason she just started waving and smiling at me and acting overly excited to see me. This started when i didn't know her at all. I was just suspicious cause she started acting so comfortable with me for no apparent reason

[Smoke-n-Growls]

You're a regular at her shop. It's called customer service and the expectation is tips.

[Anonymous]

That's the best time when we have the security of a boyfriend but the freedom to talk to other guys as much as we want without risk of it turning sexual.