Do I have to talk to my toxic "bestfriend" before cutting her off?

[Anonymous]

So this "BFF" of mine slept with my ex a year ago behind my back, while pretending to be rooting for us to get back together. She rubbed it in my face and deliberately tried to humiliate me in front of him and then started dating him. She then tried to steal my new man and cheat on my ex with my boyfriend. This year, she spread a rumour about me to other people that wasn't true. In short, she's been a disgusting friend.

I've decided to cut off this girl and block her. Do you think it's wise to tell her I want to end the friendship? We've been "friends" for 3 years.

I feel she doesn't even deserve for me to explain it to her, but she is under the impression that we are still friends and sometimes reaches out to me. So it may come as a shock to just cut her off.

Can I just block her on all social media out of the blue without saying anything, or would that be unwise?

[Gene9]

Tell her! Manipulative people don’t understand like normal people that you don’t want to have them in your life. Tell her how much she’s hurt you and tell her you never want to see her ever again! And explain why she has hurt you, that way she will feel ashamed and alone and then you leave forever knowing she is living with the guilt

[D_Bone_Steak]

She sounds super toxic and I'm guessing one of those people that injects themselves back into your life only when they feel like it or want something.

You don't owe her anything. You don't even need to bother with the blocking stuff... just never respond.

[Asker]

Thank you, you are right on the mark there. She contacts me intermittently, she never really asks about my life either. I don't think she likes me all that much anyway and probably never has.

I'm just worried about being unnecessarily cruel by stopping responding. I wanted to block only because I don't want her snooping into my future love life and trying to muck it up on purpose.

[D_Bone_Steak]

You're right about that... I mean it sounds like she's after any guy you get. You getting a boyfriend might be exactly what makes her want to come around. The only problem I see with a straight-up block, is I've seen people freak out and cause drama when they realize they've been blocked.

I'm not familiar with all social media but I know on Facebook I can purposely leave certain people out of posts... they just think I stopped posting, but everyone else can see it still. It takes a little bit of effort, but there is usually a way to do that. Bottom line though I don't think you need her for anything, so a straight-up block would make plenty of sense... it's quick, easy, and it would get it over with faster.

[Asker]

You're exactly right. She was definitely on a mission to get a one-over on me. She did say she was "jealous" once but I didn't think anything of it. I think her argument against me will be that this all happened a year ago so it's in the past. She always has an excuse for when she does something wrong. She never apologised sincerely, she blamed my ex for what happened and acted like she did nothing wrong. And she flirted with my new boyfriend again while pretending to root for us. She won't even admit she was going behind my back.

The Facebook thing sounds like a good idea. Thank you. I don't know if you can do that on other SM platforms but maybe I'll restrict her. I've already blocked my ex (her boyfriend.) And I feel relieved. I didn't owe him any explanation and I'll feel so good when she's also out of my life. So maybe the full block as you said. Thanks for your help!!

[D_Bone_Steak]

No problem. Hope the best for you in dealing with that situation.

[Wubs3000]

I advise against ghosting it sticks in your head for a while. A simple, "Hey I don't want to be friends anymore because you are toxic" and then blocking them would be way better.

[Asker]

I get that. Thanks. Do you think she deserves an explanation though?

She's a very toxic person who knew what she was doing. She literally bullied me in front of my ex and was making out with him in front of me. She also showed me his texts to her and was laughing in my face, mocking me.

Usually I would not ghost because I hate it being done to myself. It's disrespectful. But this girl never owns up to things she's done and I'm worried she might use whatever I say as ammunition against me.

[007kingifrit]

not only does it help you emotionally grow to have that conversation but it helps shut the door on her. yea talk to her

[Jamie05rhs]

At this point, she doesn't deserve anything from you.

[IsoUser]

I'll just be perfectly upfront and honest with you your girlfriend shouldn't be freaking trusted at all

[Asker]

Thanks.

I know, she's a horrible person. She's the only person I've ever called that.

[Guy13]

It is your decision

[Asker]

Thank you, but I don't know if it's cruel to just cut someone off without explanation? Usually I wouldn't like it done to me. But I feel this "friend" would respond really badly if I try to tell her why.

[Guy13]

Yep, you're in a tough place. Prayerful consideration would be good too.

[Celticwolf78]

Y wait do it already and be done