A girl asked me why I dont talk to her more. Is she interested or just being friendly?

[Anonymous]

I should give some context.

I have a crush on this girl and I get nervous around her. She noticed that and has asked me why i get nervous around her. I said that i don’t know. She then asked me if i feel nervous around girls, and if i have never talked to them, and then she asked me if i dont have a girlfriend, to which i said no.

The next day while we were talking she put her hand on my tummy and was really close to me. I got a bit nervous and leaned away so her hand didn't touch me anymore. She noticed that and put her hand back on my tummy.

For a week or so we made a bit of small talk, but I was still a bit quiet because i didn’t know what to talk about.

One day she offered me some candy but i didn't want to eat it, so I said no. She said “don’t be so shy, it’s always me that talks to you, you should talk more to me”.
I then took the candy because I didn't want to be so negative and she noticed that my hands were kind of shaking, so she said “your hands are shaking” and laughed.

I’m not sure if she is just being friendly or if there is more to it.

[PeteBy]

Even by today's standards of equality and all that she is being a bit too forward. She's either way ahead of her time or she has an ulterior motive.

[Asker]

She’s being too forward? i dont think she is in my opinion. Tbh i can't even tell if she is being friendly or if there is more to it.

What ulterior motive could she have?

[PeteBy]

You may well be right. She may just be a sweet, genuine girl who knows you are shy and she is an extrovert. Maybe she really likes you. Some women do get off on leading men on, that's what I meant by ulterior motive. I guess the thing to do is bite the bullet in this situation. If she is touching you. Do the opposite of what you have been doing and put your hand on her waist and maintain eye contact. Difficult I know if you're shy but gotta do it at some time. See how she reacts to you doing that. She'll either smile and allow you or she'll back off.

[Asker]

That sounds damn hard to do. I’ll see what i can do.

I would definitely do something if i knew if she is interested

[Anonymous]

I 100% agree with PeteBy. Lean into it. See where it goes. Flirt a little (;

[Asker]

Im not sure if she likes, otherwise i would do something.

[Opinion Owner]

What's she supposed to do? Blink "kiss me" in Morse code? Lol

[Asker]

Wdym.
I'm saying that im not sure if she is interested or just being friendly.

[Opinion Owner]

I mean the typical woman isn't going to just tell you she wants to date you verbatim. They usually hint at and give signs of their interest through flirting

[Asker]

Would you say what she did were signs or no?

[Opinion Owner]

It's hard to tell without actually being there to pick up on body language. Interestingly, most of human communication doesn't come from speech alone, but also tone and body language. Saying "screw you" in a playful, laughing, sarcastic way can be funny, while saying the same thing angrily as you storm out gives an entirely different message. She could very well just be a nice person, trying to help you break through social awkwardness. That's the whole flirtatious dance though. You flirt a little and see if the signs get bigger or if she seems to sort of pull away, y'know? To me, it sounds like she's flirting

[Asker]

Yes i get you. I suck hard at flirting and never really did it, can you please tell me what she did is considered flirting?

[Opinion Owner]

This may be different depending on culture, but physical contact is usually a big sign that a woman is interested you. Esspecially if you notice her touching you a lot. Sometimes a girl may touch your hand or wrist while talking to you, giggle a lot when you say things that aren't really that funny. Extended eye contact. That's why Pete said, if she touched you again, to maybe put your hand on hers and make eye contact. The way she reacts will tell you everything you need to know.

Your experience reminds me of a time I was on a high school field trip. I had a crush on a girl who I thought was way out of my league and she was sitting behind me on the bus. She called my name and asked me if I have a six pack, because she thought I was in good shape. I said, no way I got a keg, just a butter belly. She started saying "I bet you do, let me see" she started reaching around the seat and tried to touch my abs and I swatted her hand away and asked why she was being so weird... years later I asked if she was flirting with me and she said "obviously!" She thought I was rejecting her! Lmao

[Asker]

Hahaha that’s a nice experience. If you don’t mind, did anything happen after that, like did you people date?

You said “culture”. I’m from the middle east so it’s a bit stricter here, but dating does happen to some extent.

[Opinion Owner]

No, I was with someone else at the time. We went to the same community college too so I saw her around quite a bit. I had always thought she was teasing me that day lol.

That's interesting though. I am from America. I'm not sure if flirting looks the same globally, that's an interesting thing to explore

[Asker]

I wouldn’t say it’s exactly the same flirting wise as america, but the spirit is there.

Dating isn't really THAT common. It’s definitely done, but not that much.

[Anonymous]

She needs a guy to use as an emotional tampon.

[Asker]

Wdym

[anon1903]

Just friendly

[Asker]

How can i tell if someone is being friendly and not interested?

[anon1903]

Ask them out

[Saamee]

She is bored.. 😪

[Asker]

Bored of what?