Am I wrong for keeping the money?

[Ga-girl]

I have 2 jobs work 6 days a week and I'm a student. I picked up a couple of dog sitting jobs and I kept the ~$500 to myself. Me and my boyfriend have a joint account and he's upset that I kept the money I got from the dog sitting gig to myself.

A little background... my boyfriend is into cars. So you know what that means. He likes to get car parts and mods that ARE NOT CHEAP and often plans on getting these things before we have the money for it. So when I want something modest like a pair of headphones or to go out with a few friends for drinks the excuse is "we don't have money for that." That's another issue I'll get into on another post but the point is I've felt like I was never able to get anything since the "extra" money we had coming in was always already "spent."

If I kept the money in the joint account the odds of it getting spent within a week are 100%. Am I wrong for just wanting something for myself for once?

Updates

+1 y

So now that I've made this "side money" he doesn't think he should pay towards some bills since I have money for it from what I've made... that doesn't even make since

[HollyK21]

It’s your money that you earned with your hard work so no it’s not wrong. In fact I think it would be healthy to have separate finances. All of your earnings don’t have to be poured into his hobbies, and the fact that you feel the need to justify saving a bit for yourself only shows you rarely get a dime for personal expenses, and that’s not ok. If I were you I’d have a serious talk with him about this and I’d you can’t bring yourself to address it, then just start putting your own money aside. He’s not your husband and does not need to monitor your spending so closely anyway.

[Ga-girl]

Thanks for your response 😊

[kylee2437]

You should not have a joint account with someone you aren’t married to in my opinion. Your boyfriend in my opinion seems to be taking advantage of your hard earned money maybe because he lacks financial stability? Horrible idea to ever agree to make your money his too.

[kylee2437]

You need to take your control back and get out of this joint account idea. Flat out tell him you aren’t interested anymore. If he breaks up with you or gets angry, please just walk away because he’s going to hinder your growth forever and you will never have your own money as long as you are dating him

[Ga-girl]

Thanks I appreciate you responding

[kylee2437]

@Ga-girl honestly dump this dude.

[Tomcat68]

Keep three bank accounts… yours, his, and a joint account for bills. Your paycheck deposits in your account and then you contribute to the joint account for shared expenses. How much you contribute should be relational to how much you each make. If you make 55k and he makes 45k… you should pay 55% (55/(45+55)) of the shared expenses. It makes it fair and also allows both to spend on whatever they want without having to ask permission.

[slatyb]

Have a joint account for joint expenses that you both contribute to, not a joint account where you both deposit your paychecks. There's mine, his, and ours.

[HelloImGoodThanks]

No you are not in the wrong here, you are not married and you have no legal obligations to give him any money. However, do remember if there is a time you might need money he has no obligations to help you out with money but again you are not in the wrong here. It is truly for the best for you both to have separate finances

[HelloImGoodThanks]

Girl dump his ass. Don't put up with him being the way he is. It's not acceptable

[jamesgoldman]

No, absolutely not

I don't date but in theory if I did I would have a joint account for household expenses then she has her money and I'll have my half dozen accounts (if you include the credit cards I don't use at the moment otherwise it's just 4)

[PeteBy]

You're definitely right to keep it. He's clearly selfish and irresponsible. Treat yourself and look after yourself first and foremost.

[AviatorTom]

You earned it, you get to keep it... unless you and your boyfriend have an agreement to share your income. Dies he always share his income with you, or does he sometimes keep it for himself?

[Ga-girl]

No we simply have our income in the same bank account. He has a 9-5 and I got another job since we were struggling financially. Its helped a little. He doesn't "keep any for himself" because there's never an issue when he wants something

[AviatorTom]

@Ga-girl Re your update. It makes sense in his view. Seems, until now, he pays most or all of the bills, and now that you have some money, he's looking for you to contribute to bill-paying.

[Ga-girl]

Well our income has always been together so I can't say he's been paying most of the bills especially with me making more than him. Its the fact that when I want something there's an excuse but when he wants something bills get pushed back the sea gets parted to get it

[midnightmoon05]

Couples make diff. financial arrangements. The two of you need to come together to work this out so it doesn’t create ill feelings.

[D_Bone_Steak]

I would open my own separate account ASAP. The dude sounds like a money sponge where money goes to disapear.

[BarryLiverstone]

Your boyfriend doesn’t sound very mature. Would advise you open up your own account that’s not shared to invest in. That way you can add money to both accounts and have one for yourself

[Ga-girl]

He thinks that having a joint account is apart of being in a relationship. That issue has since been resolved by completely separate accounts

[BarryLiverstone]

Yep in reality each person should have their own account and if living together you share an account for the shared bills

[TroyDT]

You might want to rethink the joint account with someone, especially if you are not married.