When will I learn that gray rocking should be my default mode of interaction?

[Kf9rh5bt]

I meet new roommates, coworkers, bosses and the situation tuns to shit soon after meaning they start disrespecting me and having no boundaries. If I gray rocked from the beginning, these assholes wouldn't get too comfortable around me and start degrading me in various ways.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

I mean, are you enforcing your boundaries or are you somehow expecting strangers to automatically know what they are?

If someone's violating a boundary, YOU are the one who has to tell them what they've done and to knock it off. Once you've told them what the boundary is, THEN it's reasonable to hold them accountable to it.

Perhaps you would benefit from doing boundary work with a therapist. That helped me learn how to put down boundaries and hold them, which is something my mother explicitly didn't allow me to do as a child.

It's not always an innate skill, you have to learn to have boundaries and how to keep them. That can take practice, especially if you weren't raised learning about boundaries like most normal people are (it is normal to have parents who teach you what boundaries are).

Personally, I know what info I share with anyone (what is ok for "polite company"), and what I keep only for people I know I can trust.

It took me years of therapy to get there, though.

Grey rocking is tiring as fuck and not sustainable as a long term thing. It's supposed to be a last resort when reconciliation is impossible and so is no contact.

I'd suggest you figure out what your boundaries are and start enforcing them, and letting people who can't respect them fall out of your life.

Build your tribe.

[Jdookyky]

Hey im sorry u went through that

[Smoke-n-Growls]

All good. It made me stronger and now I'm in a much better place. Thank you!

[dustybiker]

Not everyone is like you. In order to get along with others you have to allow them to be themselves to a certain extent. And maybe live without roommates.

[Kf9rh5bt]

I really dont get why i can't hve my products i paid for in a certain space. Did you read my post

[dustybiker]

Yup. And answered it my way.

[Kf9rh5bt]

Ok? So whats your point cause it doesn't answer my question.

[Kf9rh5bt]

I thought this was a different question nvm

[Avicenna]

You have to figure out what works for you

[AsaKyo]

What even is gray rocking