A Girl’s only true love is her first love Agree or Disagree?

[Finchie40]

Updates

+1 y

I agree and disagree , only reason I agree is because of my experiences, Most of my ex gf’s have tried getting back with me , mainly the ones that I was their first , I don’t take exes back but girl’s in general I believe hold onto their exes more than guys do, because girls hold onto more emotional connection then guys do for the most part. My ex gf’s were in new relationships and still trying to hook up with me , I just SMH and say No , when I ask them why? They all said they still love me

Updates

+1 y

How would you all feel if your partner had their exes name tatted on themselves and didn’t get it removed? I dated a girl that had her exes name tatted on her ass , to me it was disrespectful and made me not respect her as much , When I asked her to get it removed if she wants to continue dating me she would say he is right where he belongs , I said well good luck with that and stopped dating her , If I had an exes name tatted on me I would so have it removed out of respect for my new partner

[snackthatsmilesback]

Lol no. If you wanna do like that it's her last, cause she didn't love anyone else after that so it's "true". With first, you often do love someone else after so it's "false" or you wouldn't love anyone else.

But trying to decide "triue" love is kinda weird anyway. Love isn't that complicated it's not magic, it's not spiritual. It's something you feel and then you cultivate it. Or vice versa. You can love more than one person at the same time even—but that usually gets everyone hurt. If you care about someone a lot, you are attracted to them, you admire them, etc... that's love. There's no bother tested whether it's "true" cause it's true that you feel it. Why the fuck would it not be true? The problem is whether you act on it, and whether you put effort in to grow that love or you let it start to wither.

Something like that anyway. It's no different than anything else. You wouldn't say someone only has one true hate, or one true lust, or one true fear, would you?

[snackthatsmilesback]

Personally I think it's more disrespectful to the ex to not get their name tatt removed. Even tho ex got name that wasn't even enough to keep them together. But current partner don't even have name and you still together. Clearly current partner is seen as better then. But ik most people don't think like that.

I never got a name tatt but several of my friends have and, most just leave it call it like a scar, cause even removal leaves a mark and don't erase the past. Also a money thing, keeping it is free and doesn't waste the ink. Could be a fun story attached to it, or good memories, even with the bad stuff—& be reminder not to make some mistakes twice. That will always be part of your life story, even if not part of your future.

I don't see the need to remove it. But if it does really bug your partner, you should at least talk about it weigh it up, cause it's important to them should be important to you. Try and come to an understanding.

[Finchie40]

I told her to get it covered with something else but she kept saying he was right where he belonged , In the beginning of dating her it didn’t faze me as much I just laughed it off because we were mainly just FWB’s but as time went on I would tease her saying I am not going To commit to someone that has their exes name tatted on them , to me me it’s disrespectful, if I had another girls name tatted on me and she wanted me to get it removed or covered I wouldn’t hesitate out of respect for her if her and I were getting serious , so the fact that she wouldn’t get it removed for me was a turn off to me , I couldn’t fully commit to her because on top of the tatt she would constantly talk about her ex to me , even though she mainly bashed him it was like she bashed him so much that she missed him , Just something I don’t do to a girl that I really like , only time I talk about an ex is if I am questioned about it so I kind of kept my options opened because I didn’t feel truly valued by this girl, I didn’t hate her just couldn’t fully commit to her , so I ended up meeting someone else that made me feel wanted and valued and didn’t compare me or constantly talk about her ex to me , so I ended it with the tatt girl and moved forward with the new girl that actually understands that leaving your past behind you before pursuing a new partner is the way to go

[snackthatsmilesback]

Yeah that seems fair. Not removing it is one thing, but being really dismissive about the issue and bringing up her ex so often comparing, definitely not a good sign. Glad you found someone who prioritizes the relationship as you do.

[Anonymous]

I strongly disagree

My first love was someone I fell in love with platonically when I was 15. For 3 years I could not confess my love for him because he had a girlfriend. Sometimes I would secretly take pictures. I know secretly photographing someone sounds crazy but he didn't use social media and I didn't have a photo of him to look at when I missed him. Then I didn't see him for 3 years, but my love never ended. It was terrible to forget his voice. It is possible to remember his face by looking at his photos, but it is impossible to remember his voice. However, for 6 years, my love never ended and the butterflies in my stomach never died. maybe you think of me as an "obsessive lover" but no, it's totally innocent love but unfortunately it's hidden in a diary. then he subscribed on Instagram so I can message him. "Hey, I have crazy feelings for you, I was wondering if you'd let me get to know you" I said. she said okay. I felt a lot of intense emotions that day when we were going to meet. love, longing, affection, excitement, curiosity, etc. It was like there was chemical warfare in my brain. everything went well and we became lovers. This increased my feelings even more. Our relationship lasted 1.5 years and I left him because of some disagreements that were difficult to reconcile. My ex, my first love, my first boyfriend, I don't care him right now. I don't even remember him. I don't regret any minute of loving him, he was a wonderful man and definitely worth getting to know. but it's over. "first love" isn't unforgettable, it's the lessons you learn from your experiences that are unforgettable.

[AmandaYVR]

Strongly disagree. First love is an uninformed, romantic sort of love. It's naive, and nothing compared to love that is educated, knowledgeable, dynamic. Youth doesn't understand the complexity of life. Experience knows, and can more properly weight and value.

[AmandaYVR]

I would never ask someone to get a tattoo removed. It's their business.

Yes, I do think females tend to get more easily emotionally invested in relationships. I'm not entirely surprised you've had that happened, that they wanted back in.
I'm not like that. I can only speak for myself, really. I don't pine for anyone from the past. I was really into them at the time, but hindsight is 20/20. I found deeper love later.
A couple of guys have told me they regretted breaking up with me.

[Finchie40]

It wasn’t really the tattoo that bothered me it was more the fact that she talked about him all the time that made me have some concerns , so the tattoo just added to it , I felt like she should be still with him even though she bashed him to me but she also talked about the good things as well , and it would leave me thinking then I guess you just like me for the sex , I really couldn’t give myself completely to her , I didn’t hate her just wasn’t someone I wanted to be with in the long haul. To me an ex is an ex for a reason , yes we have memories. But memories that I keep to myself unless I am questioned about them , otherwise I feel it’s disrespectful to constantly bring up an ex to a new partner , your new partner should be your present and future , not holding on to someone that betrayed you and left you. , if I had an exes name tatted on me and I was in a relationship with a new girl , I would so have it removed or covered up out of respect for our relationship with her , she wouldn’t even have to ask me , that’s just how I see things, it’s those little things that matter in relationships. I can only value someone that makes me feel valued , I can’t value someone that isn’t giving back the same in return, I did try to take an ex back once and that was my answer to never go back to an ex, the feelings weren’t the same , their were resentments and the trust we had was already broken so why go back to someone that couldn’t stand by you through the ups and downs in life, so yes Exes to me means exempt them from your life

[Finchie40]

I have seen people go back to exes that have treated them like pure shit , thinking they would change? I witnessed Girls going back to ex boyfriends that beat the shit out of them thinking he changed? So those people
To me are absolutely insane and need to seek mental counseling or some shit lol, An ex to me is like trying to reheat Mcdonald French fries IN a microwave, it will never be the same lol

[AmandaYVR]

Well tattoos are really common nowadays and don't mean what they used to, so we'll be seeing a lot more stupid choices on saggy skin. I personally don't like them, but it's the aesthetics (blue-grey looks like rotting flesh) and permanence of them that deter and repel me mostly.
But you have to assume that when they got it done, they knew it was going to be forever, and they intend to remember that person (or thing.) I wouldn't see it as a threat, exactly, but in the case you described (and surely others) yes, she is absolutely hanging onto the idea of him, romanticizing a guy and situation that is probably not worth it. Anyone who talks about their ex (es) incessantly is a waste of time.

Some people can be friends. Or have to be, for the sake of the kids, etc. I don't think that's bad.
But "They're exes for a reason" usually holds true, as you say.

[Finchie40]

And nowadays it’s easy to get them covered up or removed. But the bottom line I just felt it was disrespectful , At times I would make comments like you still haven’t got that removed , I guess I don’t mean that much to you but you like having sex with me , so that’s cool , she would say things like he is right where he belongs or at times she would say I forget that it’s even there , which I caught her in a lie when her and I went out with some friends and she was showing her friends her tatt on her ass like it was the best thing , I was a little hurt by it considering if she truly valued me she wouldn’t be making me look like a fool in front of friends knowing i didn’t care for that tatt , so all those little things added up and I saw where i stood with her and realized there are better people out there that have respect for people they care about , so at that moment I knew she wasn’t the girl for me , it was my choice and my decision that I was glad I made cuz I met a kick ass girl that respected me and complimented me and made me feel valued , she didn’t talk highly of her exes so I ended up hooking up with the new girl and told the other girl that i don’t want to see her anymore , She said why because of the tattoo? I said that’s part of it not going to lie but not the main reason , I just want to be with someone that wants to go forward with me not someone that’s holding on to her ex like he was this amazing person , I said you are best to get over your ex before you start dating again , it’s disrespectful especially considering that you have a guy tatted on your ass that use to beat you up , so you have fun with that , I then told her I met someone else that I feel happier with , I told her I didn’t hate her , I said you just aren’t the girl for me so take care.

[Anonymous]

There a certain amount of truth to that. I wouldn't paint it as that bad. There are some women who are really resilient. But most women blame every guy for every previously failed relationship she's had. This is the real reason guys date young women. Yes, youth is attractive. But mainly it's just that young women aren't jaded and don't hate the entire world yet.

[Opinion Owner]

I wouldn't demand she get it removed, but I do understand your feeling towards it. But I do think her response to you was perfect. His names on her ASS. Get it? Like he can kiss her ass! She sits on him everytime she sits down. At least that's the meaning I took from it.

[Finchie40]

I did laugh in the beginning when we first started having sex , but as time went on and she constantly talked about the guy to me it kind of raised some red flags , I was honest with her and told her my true feelings about her tatt and said how would you feel if I had my exes name tatted on me? She really didn’t have an answer to that and told her that’s why I would never get a girls name tatted on me , unless it was my wife or my kids , she knew I hated that tatt and thought it was disrespectful , the fact that she wouldn’t get it removed just told me she really wasn’t into as much and the fact that she talked about him and bashed him it was almost like she bashed him so much that she missed him , so I couldn’t give myself completely to her , I felt like I was constantly being compared , just not how I am , the only time I talk about an ex to a girl is if she questions me about it, I honestly feel it’s disrespectful to talk about an ex like they were this important person in your life , you honestly shouldn’t be dating if you aren’t over an ex is how I look at it , so I just looked at her as a friend with benefits and couldn’t give my heart completely to her. I ended up meeting another girl that had more respect that didn’t talk about her ex that knew an ex is n ex for a reason , Girls that hold onto exes are just a waste of time to me , pretty much a piece of ass , I can’t commit to someone that doesn’t value me like I want to value them, to me that person is damaged and holding onto something that isn’t there , holding on to the past when I am looking for present and future , if she got that tatt removed out of respect for our relationship I probably would of married her , but to me she was a selfish person that only cared about herself , I don’t roll with girls that are that way , I can’t value someone that doesn’t value me , I was just a connivence to her is how I look at it

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, now that you add that it definitely sounds like they may be over. But she clearly hadn't moved on. I would have broken up with her as well and said, "Maybe when you're past this".

[Finchie40]

My advice is don’t waste your time with a girl that doesn’t compliment you and makes you feel wanted that doesn’t make you her priority that doesn’t remove selfishness for you , when a girl compares you and talks about an ex like it’s part of their vocabulary , kick her to the curb , those are the girls that have low self esteem about themselves and are very insecure , and only care about themselves, I know this because I dated a handful of them , they never admit they are wrong and they are the ones to most likely cheat on you , they are the biggest hypocrites , and narcissists , they will set boundaries with you but not follow those boundaries themselves , cuz they are selfish people. When a girl is completely into you she will make you feel wanted and valued and compliment you like crazy, stand by your side when you are upset or sad and lift you back up , she won’t prioritize other people over you , when you find a girl like that keep her at all costs because they are hard to find , intimacy and affection isn’t a bargaining agreement , she loves you for who you are and accepts your flaws , when a girl compares you and tries to change you and mold you into the man of her dreams she is a selfish piece of shit

[curlyfirecracker]

False. Unless you consider most girl's first love was nothing but a lustful desire. Love is far more than that.

[Anonymous]

Disagree. I don’t believe in just one love though. If you did believe in that then depends on your “true love” criteria. My first love however is the one I will always remember and it was the only one where I wasn’t tainted with baggage and I had no walls up. It’s never been the same again falling in love after the first time your heart gets broken.

[NathanDavis]

only someone naive would actually believe and think this is in any way true...

[NathanDavis]

edit/update*

thought so... just a biased thing, and not an actual thing

[Bethany22]

That's true. It's the purest most innocent love she'll ever have

[JustiReno]

Love is fake word that’s why Asians don’t say they love you they just give you money

[Asker2022]

I agree, I fkn agree.

[Summeroflove]

Disagree. Obviously people find other loves

[katiesmuff]

I would disagree with that

[Nomina]

Disagree.

[Nomina]

Update from update. So the question is mostly an ego boost?

Good for you, I suppose 😏

[Finchie40]

Not an ego boost just something that has been on my mind as to why most girls hold on to their exes like they were these amazing people, if they were so amazing they wouldn’t be an ex period is the way I look at it , I tried taking an ex back one time in my life and that was my answer to never take an ex back , the feelings weren’t there like they use to be , once it’s broken it’s broken is the way I look at it , We all deserve someone that stands by us through ups and downs , when someone can walk away from you that just shows they are a selfish person and only really care about themselves , so what is honestly going to change for the better? Love only grows when 2 people remove selfishness for each other and make each other your number 1 priority , if you don’t have that with someone then they are with you for the convenience , so value yourself worth and realize you deserve someone that will stand by you like you stand by them

[Nomina]

I don't always agree with "there's a reason they're an ex" as though it is the fault of the other person. Sometimes we're the ones at fault. Or sometimes circumstances are so that people don't work at that particular time. There are plenty of exes who get back together and it works the second or even third time. They figure out what works.

Also, never go back to relationships thinking they'll be the same. You, yourself, aren't the same. They certainly aren't. What makes you think the relationship itself would be same. Move with times, man 😂

[JessicaEarl]

Big disagree

[Blackcupcake]

disagree