Girls, Have you stopped yourself from pursuing a much older guy/man because you felt it wouldn’t work out regardless?

[Anonymous]

Let’s say you found a handsome man who was 17 years older then you. You’re 21 and he’s 38. Has great traits, looks younger then his age, stable, funny, witty, hard working, life is together an overall sweet guy. Or would you put the breaks on your feelings for him and just act cold and distant so he stops talking to you.

[kylee2437]

Yes I have. One of my acquaintances tried to hook me up with one of her cousins that is 38 and I couldn’t get past the age. I just feel like being with someone generally that much older (I’m 24) makes you feel a bit more older? When he is 50 I’m going to be 36 and I just feel like that’s too much for me to handle that the guy I’m going to be with in that instance is closer to a senior citizen age meanwhile I’m still middle aged. I don't know it’s just not for me, although there’s women my age that don’t mind it

[Asker]

Did he look old for his age? I'm actually in my 30s. But the interesting thing is my health, my endurance, my stamina is great. I run 3-4 miles, I get in probably like 15,000 to 20,000 steps per day, I play sports, I weight lift and do 500+ pushups daily. Some people in their 20s get tired quickly which shocks me.

[kylee2437]

@asker id say he kind of looks his age but I think personally myself I just wouldn’t go past age 30 for me. I’ve dated someone that was 33 and I think he was just a little bit too stuck in his ways to make things work. I feel like guys my age, you can kind of still mold them into what you are looking for in a guy

[Asker]

You can't mold anyone, I can't mold a young woman. That would indicate that you should look for the ideal partner and he probably would have to be older. Now sure, 15-20 year age difference is too much. 10 yr age gap isn't a big deal. Like I said, I work with people in their 20s and they just seem so lethargic and not willing to do work. Makes me question their work ethic because the younger someone is the more energy they should have.

[kylee2437]

Eh I disagree I think everyone in life has something they can improve on and I think it’s harder to go up to a guy that generally older (as a 24 year old woman) and say they have a problem with this and it needs to be worked on to improve our relationship as a whole. I know people in their 30s that do nothing with their life as well and I know hard ass working people in their 20s. Current guy that I talk to that is 24 works 7 days a week and his day starts at 4 am. I know 30 year olds that just got started with their career and such. It depends on person to person. My ex that is 33 wanted to put in no work to make a relationship work meanwhile I was bending backwards as a 22 year old to make it work

[Asker]

Well I don't know if you prefer being with or marrying someone exactly your age or a year or two older. But I hope the experience you had with your ex boyfriend being 9 years older then you or whatever it is shaped your view that all older guys by 7-8 yrs+ then you have will have that mindset. For me if I was to take things seriously with a girl and she's 10 years younger she has to have good morals, ethics and character.

[kylee2437]

Maybe he did influence my opinion but at the same time I think regardless a person that much older holds a certain level of superiority that is hard to connect to when you are the younger one. Just my opinion though. There’s girls that go for guys way older, hell I know when some of my friends were my age, they went for guys that age.

[Asker]

But if two people can work it out and love each other, then you would say it's doable, right?

[kylee2437]

Sure but I think it’s harder to do with two people with a large age gap. To each it’s own. Maybe I’m just on with my bad experience and there’s tons of couples that have large age gaps in the world, I just want to be on the same level as someone and I feel that comfortability with males my age

[Asker]

So if a 40 yr old man tried to approached you in a bar or something even if you were single, would you be ok with it or be annoyed lol

[kylee2437]

Probably neither, I would enjoy the banter but wouldn’t feed into it lol I’m a waitress, it happens all the time

[Asker]

I thought you might say you would kick him in the balls and give him a reality check

[Anonymous]

If I liked the guy I would be with him. I can fuck him once or we can be in a long-term relationship or anything in between. If I didn't like him, I wouldn't be with him. Age has nothing to do with it. In reality I'm mostly with guys in their early 20s but that wouldn't stop me from being with an older guy if I liked him.

[Asker]

Yeah but come on if a guy was 17 years older then you let’s say you’re 20 and he’s 37. Even if he looks young for his age and is set with a good job and independent, etc. would you really consider marrying him?

[Opinion Owner]

I'm 19 I'm not considering marrying anyone.

[Asker]

Sooo basically you wouldn’t get serious with an older man who was in his late 30s or early 40s

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't stop, usually old men I met would keep distant , some doesn't keep distant because even tho he's married 😂🤣 then I had to keep distant even though I liked him.