Girls, why do you refuse to fuck a good male friend who, obviously, loves you as more than a friend but you'll fuck every other guy that simply asks?

[FunkyMonkee]

I mean, guys you have NO emotional connection with other than a quick fuck.

[sassy_receptor]

any male i have as a friend is someone i don’t find physically attractive enough to date or be intimate with. if i thought he was attractive enough, i wouldn’t be friends with him and would of wanted more right off the back.


i don’t have sex with people i find unattractive.

[PizzaPieMamaBear]

Tell ‘em kylee

[rachel776]

i don't know if that's true (for me) because i have male friends who are attractive who i still would not have sex with. i fix guys like this up with my friends all the time, which i wouldn't do if i thought they were unattractive

[kylee2437]

If you love a girl more than a friend and you are pretending to be her friend, then in my book you aren’t a good guy because you are lying about how you feel to stick around me. I just X’d out a guy friend of mine because instead of being honest about what he was trying to get at, he determined it a friendship and was encouraging me to make a move instead of just owning up to his feelings and actually got nasty with me because I set the boundary of just friends (his fault)

[FunkyMonkee]

I'm not lying about anything. I'm not interested in scaring off a good friend by constantly trying to get her to my girlfriend. She even told me that she won't fuck me because she thinks it'll drive a wedge between our friendship. Problem is, I'm not at all like that! Other than my ex-fiance, who cheated on me after 10 years of my loyalty to her, I'm still friends with the other two women I fucked several times in the early `80's, at least 5 years before I met this girl!
Besides, I DID put it to Jenn that it'd be great if we got together so, she knew how I felt about her.
So, in your book, it's perfectly fine to fuck guys you have no interest in and are essentially lying to but it's NOT okay for a guy to just be okay with being your friend?

[kylee2437]

@FunkyMonkee no what I am saying is you are sticking around in hopes one day she will change her mind - which if a girl isn’t open minded after you voiced your feelings, she probably won’t be. It’s unfair to stick around being a girls friend when you have in the back of your mind that you want more. It’s you essentially not being a friend to her in the first place. Once you find a girl that likes you and wants to be a girlfriend to you, I’m sure you are hopping out of this girl’s life completely. You aren’t being honest about what you are for as an outcome to this situation.

[kylee2437]

And it’s not that I didn’t have potential interest in my X guy friend, it’s the fact that he made the situation difficult from the start because he wasn’t upfront about what he was looking for, but trying to hint which is a massive turn off.

[FunkyMonkee]

Well, obviously, it WASN'T a turn-off because we actually slept on the same couch together one night, went to breakfast the next morning and then she invited me up to her house for the day a little while later. And, we always hugged when we'd meet up. And I don't mean just one of those cheesy hands only hugs for 3 seconds, I'm talking tight squeeze hugs fr at least half a minute.

[kylee2437]

Yeah because you are friendzoned lol just like I slept in my X guy friends bed, but we didn’t cuddle, I just slept there. Why? Because he put up the friend zone and siked himself out from ever getting action from me. You accepted the friendzone, now that hug could’ve been a kiss had you actually didn’t accept the friend zone

[FunkyMonkee]

I accepted it because I respect her and her boundaries and I'm not interested in forcing myself onto someone that's already let it be known that she's not interested in that way.

[kylee2437]

@FunkyMonkee you didn’t accept it though bc you are still friends with her in hopes it will turn into something more. You are a friend with an agenda, that’s not a friend.

[FunkyMonkee]

I accepted it because she's my friend and I have no intention of hurting her or losing her friendship.
I have no agenda.

[kylee2437]

@FunkyMonkee I don't know waiting around for her to change her mind sounds like an agenda to me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[FunkyMonkee]

What, am I not allowed to be friends with a girl? You go right ahead and make up all kinds of stories that get you off!! I KNOW what happened and NONE of it is what you've said!!

[kylee2437]

@FunkyMonkee aren’t we here right now because you want her to change her mind? Lol read your question, don’t gaslight me because you don’t want to feel like a bad person

[Anonymous]

OK, you asked for it 🤭.

That's the place (they have a YouTube channel as well) where you can find the fundamental answers to all questions of the kind you asked here.

[TroyDT2]

Probably the same reason I won't F my female friends. Losing a friend is worse than losing a random POA.

[FunkyMonkee]

Yeah, probably but, she'd never lose me as a friend just because she fucked me. As I've said, I'm still friends with the first two (of 3) women I fucked 40 years ago!!

[TroyDT2]

I stay friends with many whom I dated after it didn't work, but it was never a friends first, then date.
For some reason I think if it went from friends to dating that she would not want to "go back" to being "just friends." Maybe it's in my head, but I will not do it.

[FunkyMonkee]

I wouldn't count on that. I've known quite a few women that used to date a guy and then stayed friends with them after they broke up. My guitarist's girlfriend was one. She & I were VERY close friends for a couple years then, they broke up sand she & I started seeing each other, including sex, then, she went back to him but stayed friends with me for the next 40 years.

[Adaeva]

Are you a man that is unable to get laid by women that appeal to you are resent the guys that can? It is obvious that the premise of your question is false because that is not what women do; not even 1% but possibly 1 in a 1,000.

[FunkyMonkee]

It is obvious that the premise of your response is false because women DO do that!! I've know a number of them that do that!

[melanieeeB]

First of all, you're NOT a real friend , when you put yourself into a friendzone and just using her. It's Disgusting.

Second of all, cause she sees you just as a friend = no attraction = no interest

[FunkyMonkee]

Why aren't I? WHEN did I EVER say I was just USING HER? That's in YOUR head, NOT mine OR hers!! She knew that I was romantically interested in her1 and she let it be known that she loved our friendship and didn't want to ruin it with sex!
Okay, she has no attraction to me, someone she considers a close friend, but she'll fuck everybody else that she has NO interest in at all? I find that quite strange!!

[kylee2437]

@FunkyMonkee she can fuck whoever she wants - you simply aren’t her type and she’s trying to circle around that by saying she doesn’t want to ruin the friendship.

[melanieeeB]

I agree with @kylee2437

End the "friendship" and move on, meet someone new who has interest in you

[FunkyMonkee]

@kylee2437 She sure can! It has nothing to do with if I'm her type, she flat out said she doesn't want sex to ruin our friendship! That's good enough for me! I just wanna know why she'll (in this case but, really, ANY girl in ANY case, as it's happened a number of times before and NOT with me involved) she'll fuck people she doesn't even like?

[melanieeeB]

@FunkyMonkee you don't know how much she truly likes them and also IT'S NOT YOUR BUSINESS.

[FunkyMonkee]

Why would I want to end the friendship? That's pretty cheap and sleazy!! I'm gonna end a friendship JUST because she won't fuck me? That's as bad as her fucking everyone else just for cheap sex!! I put a LOT more value into my friendships!! Maybe YOU can use people for sex and then just throw them away like a pair of shit-stained panties but, I'm not like that!!

[melanieeeB]

@FunkyMonkee you literally thing so less of her! Just cause of that, why would you stay friends?

[kylee2437]

@funkmonkee you ever thought that she’s attracted to them without being interested in more with them? She’s flat out not attracted to you.

[kylee2437]

@FunkyMonkee yeah she said it would ruin your friendship because that’s not all the way rejecting you, that’s an excuse so she didn’t have to reject you all the way. If you were attractive to her, she would take you out of the friend zone and risk it all because that’s what attraction does

[Dinklex3]

Maybe because the male friend clearly loves you as more than a friend and you don't like him like that and you don't want him to have any expectations.

[Dinklex3]

The feeling has to be mutual.

[FunkyMonkee]

Okay but, why would she fuck other guys she has no emotional attachment to, then? That COMPLETELY blows your "feeling mutual" theory out of the water. She CLEARLY likes me a lot and spends a LOT more time with me than them. And, to those guys, she was just another notch on their love gun!
She, obviously, trusts me, too because, one night, we ended up sleeping (no sex, just sleeping) on the same couch together and another time she invited me up to her house for the day.

[Dinklex3]

Because the ATTRACTION to those guys is mutual. She clearly doesn't need an emotional attachment to have sex (if she really doesn't like them as you claim). She's not into you like that and is not physically attracted to you. That's why. She is not physically or sexually attracted to you. She sees you as JUST A FRIEND. That's why she does not want to "fuck" you.
& I let quite a few of my guy friends stay over and sleep in the same area/bed/couch. Doesn't mean I like them as more than a friend. As you said, the trust is there. People have trust with their FRIENDS.

[FunkyMonkee]

How could it be mutual iif she never saw them again?
I never said that her inviting me to her place or sleeping on the same couch with her MEANT that she was interested romantically in me! Only that, we were close enough friends that those were both okay to her. Apparently, she knew I was never gonna do anything to harm her.

[Dinklex3]

?
It's MUTUAL because she wanted to have sex with them as well. They wanted to have sex (found her attractive to have sex with) and she felt the same.
Sounds like your upset or confused why she doesn't want to have sex with you. She's not physically or sexually attracted to you. That's the reason.

Trusting that your friend won't harm you is normal. Why be friends with someone you don't trust and think will harm you?

[FunkyMonkee]

Not at all upset, just confused.
Well, some people don't portray themselves as harmful for a while! I used to be friends with this older guy that lived next door to me when I was about 14. he was almost thrice my age. I borrowed his copy of, "Jesus Christ Superstar" and, when I gave it back to him, he said he had something for me up in his room. I had no reason not to trust him! But, when I got up there, he molested me!!
Another time, I invited a friend of mine over for the night and, the next day, mom told me she found him snooping around in her bedroom!! Again, I had no reason not to trust him, up to that point.

[Dinklex3]

People have sex with people they're physically/sexually attracted to. It's just that simple 🤷🏾‍♀️
I'm aware that some friends betray your trust. My point is that you still have trust in your friends. You trusted your friend and did not expect him to molest you, because you TRUSTED him. It's normal to trust your friends, it's not normal or expected for your friends to betray you.
So your female friend trusting you is normal.

[FunkyMonkee]

I gave her no reason NOT to trust me.
Two of the guys she lived with wanted her and she didn't exactly trust them.

[Dinklex3]

Well yeah, you're her friend.

[Nikki1989]

Hey, I am always open to offers. Never say never.

[FunkyMonkee]

Thanks, Nikki!

[A_Bell]

If you figure this out, I'll let the rest of us women know, because it's unclear to me too.

[Rockstarrrrr]

Because then it'd be like incest xD

[FunkyMonkee]

In what way? She's not my sister.

[Rockstarrrrr]

I'm just kidding.. I mean that it might be weird or not sexy when it's a guy she's very familiar with... Plus it's more likely to get attached..