How do girls realistically behave around an unattractive guy?

[Anonymous]

I'm asking this because at least 6/10 of the gals I had to either live around, by or see on a daily because we attended the same school would have some animosity regardless if I don't look or talk to them

I'm not entirely ignored either but not necessarily disrespected either... it's somewhat in between

[Anonymous]

my profile says i'm like 45+ (i put my age as like 100 lol) but i'm actually 21. i'm also drunk so if what i say sounds weird you know why

personally i'm still nice to guys i find ugly or fat. like i'm not a bitch or anything. most of the time i treat them like anybody else. the only time i could be a little rude is like if like i'm with people and they aren't nice to you at all (i'd still try to like try show you when they're not looking with like facial expressions that i didn't want to be rude. like sympathy face or mouthing sorry or something though).

that being said though even though i'm nice i would only talk to you casually like that (wouldn't go out of my way to though) and wouldn't try to be friends unless you're not that unattractive, aren't a loser and are chill. if your more than slightly ugly or are fat fat i could if you're liked and your personality is like really worth it

[Asker]

How much does appearance play into being simple acquaintances or friends?

[Opinion Owner]

for me it does matter for friends but only if your a loser. if your not a loser i dont care that much. it's just that unattractive people tend to be more often that then not so that's why how attractive someone is kinda matters to me. simple aquaintances i dont care at all, i talk to everyone

[Asker]

What makes someone a "loser" from your perspective? Even though I'm unattractive I've managed to learn some MMA/grappling & win here & there

I've participated in track & field & did okay there & put some "alphas" in s HJ ame because I lifted more than. them

[Opinion Owner]

like what would make someone a loser in high school just college/adult version of that if you see what i mean. if you're stronger than most guys that's a good thing but that's not enough to make you not a loser if you are (i mean i dont know if you are). by the way why do you say you look bad? like do you mean your fat, ugly, or like average looking, short, etc.. ?

[Asker]

I'm average looking but my body looks better in comparison

I just tend to make enemies from the opposite sex far more often

[Opinion Owner]

if your average looking with a good? body your not ugly just standard looking to girls. why do you think youd be treated like ugly people by girls like no one has problems with average looking guys

[Asker]

Because a lot of them have tried "poking" at me AKA provoke or just straight up act like a bitch at first sight

[Opinion Owner]

if your average its not cos of your looks, its probs your personality

[Sanamina]

It depends.

Ugliness is a spectrum

If u didn't look attractive growing up but u take good care of yourself she is probably not thinking anything negative about you. Most likely she isn't pondering over you much

If apart from physical appearance if u have flaws that make u look lazy, unhygienic, disorganized and unreliable... Like some guys dont even bother with basic hygiene. The she is definitely judging u.. like "why doesn't he take a shower" etc etc.

But that anyone can work on and should work on.

[Asker]

I've had girls start problems with me simply because I wasn't looking a "certain" way but these same girls ignored other guys in my "level"

Any ideas why they chose me?

[Sanamina]

As long as you are being your best self and treating everyone well It doesn't matter what these said "girls" think of you.
There are several reasons as to why someone would pay too much attention on someone's negative qualities like they enjoy making fun of people who look different but that's a sheep behaviour and they have nothing interesting to say and are trying to fit into their own circles at the expense of someone else.

And u have to understand and surely "know" that there is nothing wrong with you

Also if u r really curious just straight up make a friend who is a girl and ask her upfront if there is anything funny going on about you

If her reasoning makes sense to you see if there's something u can do about it

If it doesn't then clearly there is no real reason that they are treating you this way apart from the fact that they have a habit of fault finding and like to make the other gender look bad if they dont look like models for their entertainment and therefore u must ignore them and not take them seriously

They are not gonna make fun of the guy they like but that doesn't mean they are nice people all of a sudden they r just pretending to be nice to score a date.

[Sanamina]

Well its also media and society... Men are taught to look up to women and Women are taught to look down on men by media, society and their own families.
They keep telling people how dangerous and good for nothing men are
So... The average girl already has a bad image of men because her parents told her to stay away from them.

Men on the other hand are always told how they would be a real chad if they score all kinds of dates with sexy women
Women are viewed at the same value as a luxury car or a luxury house
And which is why Men usually have a better opinion of women unless they were hurt by girls

Sometimes this hurt is also resultant of men idolizing girls only to realize that they are not all that amazing as they were promised to be.

So its a matter of how our society makes us view different genders

[Asker]

There were a few girls who would crack huge laughs when they would see me but avoid looking at me straight in my eyes if I looked straight at theirs BUT

My very attractive male family member had these same girl being very "friendly" & they would stare & SMILE as opposed to laughing & smirking when seeing ME

[Sanamina]

Yea but these women don't get very far in life... U see... They can't mock u and want to date ur attractive family member because obviously your gonna tell ur family member what these girls are really like and therefore ruin there chances at the date

Men talk to each other, Women talk to each other... So if u mocked a girl or a guy for being fat or ugly and then started hitting on their friend or family member... trust me that won't go very far especially if they have a good bond with their friends and family.

But alteast u r saving urself the trouble of attracting people like this into your lives because when it's too late to back out there's not much you can do.

If ur being ur best self and being kind to others only girls who are kind and being their best selves will end up liking you... Girls who mock others for their appearances won't be attracted to you... but guess what? U dont want them in ur life anyway.

[Asker]

Out of curiosity

Are smirks from girls usually red flags IF we don't know each other? Especially purposely averting eye contact while smirking?

I've gotten a lot of these

[Sanamina]

Depends on whether that smirk is a smirk of judgement or not.
If that person is usually judgmental towards others then out of habit they are most likely judging you too.
If no then she's just laughing because something was funny but not with the intent of judging or disdaining someone

[Asker]

I must stand out if I get these types of stares from half of whoever I interact with

There are the other types who look down while scowling

But I'm thinking I'm just being looked down at of I had to honest

[Sanamina]

If u feel like this hostile focus coming from women is bothering you then to must be buying into some false ideas about yourself that makes u feel like u are a lesser member of the society.

Imagine if u were dalai lama and some weird chick just came up to you and said..."ur old, unattractive and annoying"... it won't bother u because ur dalai lama... and ur definitely being more useful to the society than the people who are judging you.
However this said woman has now made a fool of herself by acting rudely and narrow mindedly and there are probably people out there looking at her with the same amount or even more judgement because of how she behaved.

[inhua]

best case scenario - might get some recognition but only out of pity

most likely case scenario - ignored, discredited, avoided like the plague etc.

worst case scenario - bullying, lies, rumor spreading, humiliation, false accusations etc.

[Asker]

& what if I'm more talented in other areas where I can "F" them up? IF they provoke?

Fear on top of being disrespected low key?

[inhua]

there's no winning scenario for an unattractive guy where any subjectivity is involved. it sucks but that's how it is. for example, car salespeople who are usually attractive will always get more credit than the less attractive mechanics who work behind the scenes on the car.

[Asker]

I don't care about subjectivity

Most people
(especially those "alpha" types) get very surprised when they find out I had some mma experience (judo mostly) & that I can "lift & rep" that "much"

So in a nutshell I'm not looking for approval from these types of people but rather defending myself

[inhua]

that's good. you shouldn't have to let those people dictate you or your life. they may shame you for having the audacity to defend yourself but I'd say stick by your guns.

[Asker]

So I'll potentially be gaslighted into believing I was the "problem"? Just so I can be manipulated for fun & to keep me "lower" on the "totem pole"?

[inhua]

yes it's bound to happen unfortunately. people naturally want to claw to top and they'll do anything necessary to get there.
life for an attractive person is vastly different from an unattractive person. it's deemed too politically incorrect to say but it's the harsh truth. your looks and your first impressions matters a lot in society.
for example someone permanently disfigures your face on the night before your job interview while your asleep. even though it wasn't fault, do you think the job interviewer will care about your "excuses"?

[Asker]

What if I don't back down & show any signs of intimidating? What then?

I get completely ignored? What if I keep eye contact with my "enemies"?

Me having too much confidence is a BIG NO NO?

[Noahzaid]

I’m well respected around girls in real life, but I don’t think that they are attracted to me either.

Maybe because I’m serious and straightforward.

[Asker]

In my case most girls thought I was "goofy" & would act either very sarcastic towards me until I got much more serious & then I was left alone

[Mina09]

I just treat them like anyone else. Just because someone's unattractive doesn't mean they don't have a good heart

[Asker]

I either tend to get smirked at by them or they narrow their eyes if we cross paths or roll their eyes & get irritated when I'm not initiating anything

[Adaeva]

Provided unattractive guys don't do something unwanted like approaching, they are mostly invisible.

[Asker]

Not with me

They e always got something to prove to me & do t think that because a guys is unattractive doesn't mean he isn't below anybody's "league"

[art84]

I think if you were unattractive then girls would ignore you for what they don't find attractive about you. Maybe it's how you talk, dress, or present yourself to others that they don't like.

[Anonymous]

It would be fine except if you give any encouragement to someone you don't want to be with, they never let up.

[gag6474]

i would say go for the ugly girls. stop giving attractive women attention if your doing so already. marry a nice ugly girl boom problem solved

[Anonymous]

They act like those type of guys don't even exist.

But to be fair, men do the same thing.

[Asker]

So men avoid unattractive "low level" guys as well

[Opinion Owner]

Sometimes.

[Asker]

So let's say if "unattractive, low teir" male HAS done "TOUGH THANGS" like martial arts, track & field,& has tasted alcohol & weed

Then would he still be ignored but low key maybe slightly "afraid" of "said guy"?
,

[Dinklex3]

Indifferent.