Is an Aspiration Procedure (abortion) painful?

[Anonymous]

A few weeks ago my boyfriend and I found out I was pregnant. I’m 10 weeks at the moment him and I had a conversation and we both said we would like to have the baby but we aren’t close to ready. So we decided abortion would be our option. My idea was to take the pills and have a home abortion but my ob said I was a week ahead and I couldn’t use that method anymore and now I will need to do the Aspiration Procedure. I’m so scared and nervous. I know I have nobody to blame but myself for going through this. Adoption is also not an option. I also decided to end things with my boyfriend because I think is selfish of him for not attempting to change things and try to be more responsible for the baby. He knew a part of me wanted to keep it but unfortunately I can’t continue my pregnancy where I live. ( I rent a room ) not allow to have babies. I have a lot of mixed feelings but I’m just trying to mentally prepare for this because my appointment is next week.

[nitsuj86]

I think you should give your boyfriend a break. Not everyone is going to react to pregnancy the way "you want them to". You said you both decided to do it, but then you are upset with him for not convincing you to keep it. He could be terrified of the concept of raising a child right now.

It's not really our decision. So maybe he was just going along with what you were saying. If he wanted to keep it, and you didn't. Would you want him to dump you for that?

I realize you might be upset, but my girlfriend is also pregnant right now, and she is a different person. Much more prone to getting upset and mad at me now for no reason, than at any point we dated before. So you need to realize that you might not be thinking the clearest right now, your hormones are going wild.

I would ask why it's ok for you to consider ending the pregnancy because you are not ready, but he is not allowed to express the fact that he might not be ready at the moment. You can't agree with him, then get mad at him later for not trying to change your mind, when it's not his decision.

If you want to keep it, then say that, and see what he says. If he then says he doesn't want it, then you can be mad. But right now I think you are over reacting.

[Asker]

When we both had a talk I told him a part of me want to go keep it and a part of me don’t. He said he would like to keep it but he also not ready and mentioned all the things we “ we aren’t ready “ such as we not living together and also atm I’m not working and he is going back to work next month. He is also 30 years old and we been together for 11 years and it upsets me that he doesn’t show any interest in changing our decision. When I went to my first prenatal appointment we both had in mind I was going to go through a home abortion and he would be right there with me but now I will be having a different abortion probably even more painful since I’m getting injected in my cervix and I’m just scared and I’m just having mixed emotions rn all I know that keeping the baby wouldn’t make him happy.

[nitsuj86]

I would just talk to him and tell him what you really want to do, don't lie about it, and hope he says something else. If he doesn't answer right, well then you need to find someone else.

You are both responsible for this, but you are the only one that can make the decision. If you want to keep it, then keep it. But I don't think you should really be forcing someone to become a mother or father. You get a choice, I would try to respect his as well.

If you are worried about that, well you are adult who was having sex, you should know this can happen. Whatever happens you will both have to live with it.

If you don't like that, well then find someone else who does want a baby with you.

[Asker]

I agree with you but am I wrong for feeling upset that we are 11 years together and he not putting much effort to change his decision?

[nitsuj86]

You can be upset, but it's also your fault for waiting this long to bring up these questions or not requiring marriage after so long together, etc. You are both at fault. It's just easier to be mad at someone else than yourself.

You are both at fault.

[Anonymous]

Before you have an abortion, please know that there's a very serious chance that it may make you sterile, so if you decide to have a baby in the future, you'll be forced to adopt.

With that being said, from what my female friends have shared with me, almost all abortive procedures are indeed painful. Especially since your baby is already about 25% of the way created. Your doctor may be able to give you an anesthetic, but I couldn't guarantee that.

If you absolutely cannot keep your baby, I would humbly beg you to adopt him/her out. My wife and I tried for 6 straight years to have a baby, and we would be elated to be in the position you're in, to be able to have a baby on accident. There are thousands of infertile couples who would be overjoyed to take care of your little babe.

Take care.

[es20490446e]

I second this.

I know of someone who had an abortion, and later on she struggled to have children. To this day she had none.

[Anonymous]

I've heard some places will give light anesthesia but then you have to have someone drive you home, like a family member or friend, not just a cab driver. I think that may be why some women don't take any anesthesia.

[Asker]

My ob told me I will be getting a shot in the cervix so I’m sure I will be getting anestesia

[es20490446e]

Your baby is no longer an embryo, but a fetus. Don't do it.

11 weeks, 3 days

[Dav1dTh0ma389]

Not a good idea to bring up abortion, here on GAG

It's just trolling, at that point

[Asker]

I’m not trolling?

[Dav1dTh0ma389]

Ya, you are

[Asker]

I don’t have the time to type everything I type on my question for it to be “ fake “. Continue assuming what you want :)